I'm a good girl but guys don't like me

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BethanyNichole

Guest
#81
I even talked to this one guy who is a Christian 2 years back and he's currently engaged to my sister. :confused:
 

Nautilus

Senior Member
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
48
#82
I guess it all depends on your definition of a 'good guy' I consider myself pretty high up on the good spectrum, but then a lot of people may disagree.
 
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BethanyNichole

Guest
#83
Why would they disagree?
 
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HookEmHorns

Guest
#84
I have a problem with this too. No good guys seem to like me.
I even talked to this one guy who is a Christian 2 years back and he's currently engaged to my sister. :confused:
I have had this same feeling before, but I am also pretty quiet in general. What really helps me is trusting God to provide the right person at the right time. I also try to take practical measures like being more friendly, outgoing, etc, but I understand that it's not always easy.
 
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BethanyNichole

Guest
#85
I'm pretty shy but once someone gets to know me I'm a whole lot better. Just feels like ppl don't want to take the time to get to know someone.
 
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HookEmHorns

Guest
#86
I'm pretty shy but once someone gets to know me I'm a whole lot better. Just feels like ppl don't want to take the time to get to know someone.
Yeah, I'm pretty much the same way, and I know exactly how you feel. There are definitely people out there who will want to get to know you better, although it doesn't seem that way at times. If you feel down, you can always message me! :)
 
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BethanyNichole

Guest
#87
Okay thanks :)
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#88
I'm pretty shy but once someone gets to know me I'm a whole lot better. Just feels like ppl don't want to take the time to get to know someone.
Probably not. Because many (not all) extroverts are not interested in people deeply. Introverts, on the other hand, are more prone to take an interest in knowing people on a deeper level, but being introverts, they are also harder to meet. And since you're more likely to meet extroverts, it could cause you to feel how you're feeling.
Just keep in mind, if the guy isn't interested in taking time to get to know you, he may not be worth getting to know either. You're better off alone and dateless and single than with someone who doesn't know you well but is just happy to have someone. Perhaps try viewing your situation as saving you from jerks and shallow people rather than a burden keeping you from meeting as many guys.
 

Nautilus

Senior Member
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
48
#89
Why would they disagree?
I don't do anything categorically defined as bad. Though depending on the type of christianity you grew up with it could easily sway people's opinion. A lot of my lifestyle tends to get 50/50 responses when i read threads similar to it.
 
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BethanyNichole

Guest
#90
Oh I see. ~~~
 

gypsygirl

Senior Member
Sep 19, 2012
1,394
60
48
#91
Probably not. Because many (not all) extroverts are not interested in people deeply. Introverts, on the other hand, are more prone to take an interest in knowing people on a deeper level, but being introverts, they are also harder to meet. And since you're more likely to meet extroverts, it could cause you to feel how you're feeling.
Just keep in mind, if the guy isn't interested in taking time to get to know you, he may not be worth getting to know either. You're better off alone and dateless and single than with someone who doesn't know you well but is just happy to have someone. Perhaps try viewing your situation as saving you from jerks and shallow people rather than a burden keeping you from meeting as many guys.
sorry, i have to scream baloney on this.

extroversion has absolutely nothing to do with the "depth of interest" in a person. and for the purposes of the OP's query, your statement about extroverts being easier to meet and therefore, might explain her bad experiences, is simply not the case.

well, except that i agree that extroverts are probably easier to meet. : )

however, i will say that some introverts are better listeners (especially initially) with new people and that may give the (perhaps misleading) impression that they are more interested or concerned with getting to know you. extroverts may be more enthusiastic or excitable (which can translate to more verbal) when getting to know others, but that's just how their energy changes around people, and more so with certain extroverts.

to be perfectly clear, natural ability to emotionally invest and empathize, bond with and nurture individuals is a completely different skill/gifting and unrelated to extroversion. extroverted types with either dominant or introverted Feeling (essentially EXFX types, such as ESFJ, ENFP, and so on) are naturally gifted with an ability to invest, care and bond with others in very powerful ways.

for the OP: the fact that you're 22 and guys aren't giving you much attention? maybe that's a good thing, as hard as it may be to hear.

what i've learned about myself is that God has spared me some stuff because it was for my own good, or that i wasn't ready to handle what might have come my way. at 22 they guys who were circling my door were guys that would've done me absolutely no good.

also, guys are attracted to what they think they need and are looking for. you can't take a lack of relationship or interest personally. you were not made to be attractive to every single guy out there. no girl is.

that's like you saying, "yes, i'm a swan, but there are no swans around swimming over to me. so i wonder if should pretend to be a goose so that i don't feel alone."

one of the most difficult things i've had to accept at different times in my life is that God has me exactly where He wants me, for reasons that only He knows. i choose to do my part, in changing my life, but to trust in the things that aren't mine to effect.
 
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Markum1972

Senior Member
Mar 25, 2013
1,165
32
48
#92
I hope I am not out of line posting to the young adults forum, but I really wanted to address some of the difficulties I see you struggling with.

The days we live in are dark in many ways but also glorious days to live in.
It will be difficult for many of you to find a suitable mate in these days... but not impossible.

Many things that are good are now considered evil and evil considered good.

It is a good thing to be best friends with your mate. Yet I have heard many (even on "Christian" forums) and in the churches say that they would not marry someone that was their best friend. What man/woman desires to be with someone that clings to another?

Culture is teaching many of these abominations to us and to our children. Much of it is through media but also in our schools and public. All of it encourages fornication and abandons "forsaking all others and letting no one divide apart the natural affection that God created between man and woman".

"Seek firstly the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all of these things shall be added to you."

These worldly views have infiltrated the majority of the churches. They are divided against themselves. This is not so in the kingdom of God.

So the best advice I can offer now is that if you are in a place that is corrupted by the world's views, keep looking. Seek the kingdom of God and keep doing so until you have found it. Try home churches as well. I am sure there are some near you. When you find yourself surrounded by others that are not conformed to this world, you will find yourself in an environment where the blessings of God are overflowing.

Grace and peace be to all of you through our Lord and savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.
 
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TheRussian

Guest
#93
I am in the same boat as you. I cannot find a suitable girl for me, because every one of them that I have met are materialistic, self-absorbed, or use you for whatever (money, car...etc) I want to know someone on a deep level, I want to know someone deep down to their soul. Most girls these days are corrupted , by todays evil society. They don't know whats its like to really know someone. Thats why there are some many break ups , divorces, whatever. Hey, thats my lot in life. I'll wait. Maybe God wants it that way. Maybe God wants us for a different purpose, He wants us to focus on Him before we focus on who we are to marry, or who are bf/gf is. We don't need those things, as much as we want them. We dont need them. All you really need is God first. Everything else He will give you once you do His will. I'll be honest, I'm not clear on what God wants me to do. But I'm trying my hardest to find out. And if later on God puts someone in my path, if we are meant to be we're meant to be. If there is no one, so be it. Patience is hard. But that is our greatest virtue. And we shall be rewarded for it . Keep strong out there. I feel your pain.
 
May 3, 2013
8,719
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#94
Hello everyone this is my first thread! I wanted to ask a quick question. See I'm 24 and I consider myself to be a good girl. I hardly go out, I've never been inside a club, don't drink, smoke or do any drugs and I'm a virgin. I try to hold myself accountable for my actions and I know that anything I say and do is reflected on God because when nonbelievers see and talk to me, I have to represent Christ to them. If they were to see me drink for example, that wouldn't be a great reflection of our heavenly Father.

Anyways, I am humble about all this. I'm actually very shy and have always had a hard time making friends. I just find it kinda upsetting that most guys seem to not like me as more than a friend. I am fit and I try to look my best but it still doesn't work. I don't mean to sound proud but I do feel I am a good person. At least I try to be. It's just so disheartening when I meet a Christian guy who is sweet with me but never takes it further than friendship.

Like I got really close to this one guy we'll call him David at church. He had a girlfriend at the time and he was always complaining about how she was materialistic, a non-believer and very selfish. But then he would talk about how pretty she was and how he knew he was going to change her someday. I on the other hand tried to show him that maybe he could be happy with me. But it never worked. I even opened up to him about me saving myself for marriage and he didn't even care! I never told him I liked him but I did become his friend, hoping that maybe he would see what a great girl I am ;) lol yeah right!

Later on I found out he was sleeping with this girlfriend of his and that he would go clubbing and drinking. I really cared about this guy. I just don't know what to think anymore. I'm so hurt that the Christian men that I have found are not really living the Christian life. Are there any real Christian men out there who would really cherish a virtuous wife? Because to me it doesn't seem that way. :(

But of course I will always stick to my morals even if I remain single for the rest of my life. I just find it hurtful to think it might not happen.
Don´t be discouraged, you are TOO YOUNG!

I also have failed like him, like she, like many.
Me, as a failure man, can say: Trust God and seek His will. Don´t trust your likes or feeling (too much).

Here´s something I wrote for another person, hope that serve u a little: Mi lado UFF-mano: The world hates me.
 
Jun 20, 2014
10
0
0
#95
A girl such as yourself, needs to be careful when "mr. Perfect" does come along if he seems too good to be true run, lol....prime target
 
S

storm09

Guest
#96
I'm actually very shy and have always had a hard time making friends. I just find it kinda upsetting that most guys seem to not like me as more than a friend. I am fit and I try to look my best but it still doesn't work. .
look darling insecurity is not attractive but confidence is. You got to be confident in yourself and your own style of clothing, speaking,walking and talking.

so you find it kinda upsetting that most guys seem to not like you as more than a friend? even guys worry about the same thing you might just never know that they're upset because they feel that friendzone vibe coming off from you too.

if david does not like you for who you are and imean your unique style of the way you present yourself in the means of naked face, natural hair, the way you talk, walk plus your own sense of humor, then drop him, he aint worth it.

thats good you're fit, ibet all em boys notice so dont you worry it takes a while for the male species to urge the courage to hit on you. My bf took 3 damn years LOL to finaly ask me to be his girlfriend so yea.
 
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raymond100

Guest
#97
To balletlover the first comment

To balletlover

My name is Raymond. I am 35 and single. God did not promise days without sorrow. But he did promise strength for the days. Nor sun without rain or day without night. I can still see even when the clouds are dark because of the rain. And when it is night I can still see that there is a little light coming from the moon.
 
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raymond100

Guest
#98
Hello everyone this is my first thread! I wanted to ask a quick question. See I'm 24 and I consider myself to be a good girl. I hardly go out, I've never been inside a club, don't drink, smoke or do any drugs and I'm a virgin. I try to hold myself accountable for my actions and I know that anything I say and do is reflected on God because when nonbelievers see and talk to me, I have to represent Christ to them. If they were to see me drink for example, that wouldn't be a great reflection of our heavenly Father.

Anyways, I am humble about all this. I'm actually very shy and have always had a hard time making friends. I just find it kinda upsetting that most guys seem to not like me as more than a friend. I am fit and I try to look my best but it still doesn't work. I don't mean to sound proud but I do feel I am a good person. At least I try to be. It's just so disheartening when I meet a Christian guy who is sweet with me but never takes it further than friendship.

Like I got really close to this one guy we'll call him David at church. He had a girlfriend at the time and he was always complaining about how she was materialistic, a non-believer and very selfish. But then he would talk about how pretty she was and how he knew he was going to change her someday. I on the other hand tried to show him that maybe he could be happy with me. But it never worked. I even opened up to him about me saving myself for marriage and he didn't even care! I never told him I liked him but I did become his friend, hoping that maybe he would see what a great girl I am ;) lol yeah right!

Later on I found out he was sleeping with this girlfriend of his and that he would go clubbing and drinking. I really cared about this guy. I just don't know what to think anymore. I'm so hurt that the Christian men that I have found are not really living the Christian life. Are there any real Christian men out there who would really cherish a virtuous wife? Because to me it doesn't seem that way. :(

But of course I will always stick to my morals even if I remain single for the rest of my life. I just find it hurtful to think it might not happen.
Hey, my name is Raymond. I may have mess up on the first message I wrote. I am 35 and single. I am living a Christian life. Can any of the pastors of the churches in America not lie for 3 hours on Saturday. Net along the rest of the week. Notice that there is no . where the ? mark is. I am not asking a question I know the answer. It has got bad in the church. Wow! We have a church on every corner yet we are not a Christian nation. Who fault is it. I kid you not that more people in prison that read the bible than in churches.
 
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raymond100

Guest
#99
Hey, my name is Raymond. What I meant by mess up is that I saw some written about other people. But I think you still will probably read all the notes.
 
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raymond100

Guest
There may wrong there may be a real pastor in a American church. But I can`t find the church if there is. But it does upset me to that most men and women that call themselves Christians are not. Maybe I should look up the Amish church. I might do that know.