One Girl Army

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Nov 13, 2009
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#1
Five Iron Frenzy said:
She is strong but never silent, sure of where her strength comes from,
one day, One Girl Army will overcome.
light streams in through my window causing a momentary pause where once a mighty strentgh would be drawn. It plays across my hands like gauntlets, though it's just the light of day.. It's still beautiful but for the first time since my salvation it offers me no comfort.

I stand there a moment in prayer; it's a silent prayer, convicted, still, a strong line between me and my creator. Neither of us has anything to prove to the other, I love and respect him and I am as he made me and will be as he intended me to be. Then I question his wisdom and sit quiet and alone.

Something feels broken.

I am 26 now. Like lots of born again Christians my faith is a choice; a clear moment of revelation where the veil over the world was peeled back and o had a momentary glimpse of the truth. That was almost a decade ago now. It used to be easy to trust in his wisdom, I was blessed with a keen intuition and though most church groups I found were currupt-even cultish-or used their faith as a measuring stick by which to persecute others I always stayed truth to the teachings of christ.

After all that seemed like the whole point, right?

Jesus told us the only way to god is through him and let's look at that a minute: Jesus had a message, a way of living, he was tempted on the mountain but stayed true, he made the hard choices, then did the right thing-even when it hurt, cost him everything. And I mean seriously, they nailed him to a bigass cross after whipping him- you ever been whipped? I have, it's not fun.

Now I'm starting to question everything though, I'm getting tired. Sitting here in sunny Brisbane alone in my room on my iPhone thinking " what now?"

I've spent the last 10 years traveling the world, before that I was homeless. I am not looking for sympathy here but honestly life has been really hard. As cool as "he walked the earth for ten years" might sound it's not fun. Especially when you have nothing to give in the first place and nowhere to really go... But gods strength always pulled me through.

It helps all my friends admire me like some kind of superhero but none of them are saved. At least none of them here I am really good friends withva woman called Michele Hererra. She's been like a mother to me. She's also the mother of Mike Hererra (the lead singer of mxpx) and she isbthe one who showed me the infinite Mecy of the Lord... But she lives in bremerton and that's a story for another time...

She says I am like king David, that people with my strength are rare in this world ad to be unique. She means it as a compliment but it's mote right than she knows. Strength without purpose is currupting. Knowing I can take what I want is sometimes a constant struggle. I need someone on side to help keep my focus up instead of here on what I am missing.

My entire life I have searched for love. I have helped people build families, find their place in the world, I have fought both physicly and emotionally tobhelp free our world of an evil I love God, he is my saviour and friend and I am blessed to have him in my life. mightier than I am just so innocence can still exist. I've done all these things hoping that along the way I would find that one person who could selflessly love me. I don't know who she is, I thought I did once, I told myself I did... But nowbi need her.
 
Nov 13, 2009
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#2
The girl I am talking about is funny, easy-going, shes innocent and good. She's quirky and silly and loves the Lord and she's been fighting evil just like me but I'd like to think she's learned a way just to do it with a smile-I never could.

Shecwears rainbow tube socks or two shoes both diffrent colours and isn't affraid to be herself because she knows there's no shame in being a woman. That's what makes her brave. She's that girl that doesn't need me to protect her but will let me be there and do it anyway. That girl that isn't affraid to laugh at stupid movies with me or just sit around the house... I dunno? Watching fraggle rock or something?

She's that girl who isn't affraid to playfully bite me or tackle me to the sofa and can stare me down even if I get angry because she KNOWS I'd never hurt her. She's my best friend and she values life and we never giro bed angry at one another.

I'm 26 years old. I live in Brisbane. I need that girl. I need hope.

[email protected]

help me remember how to smile.
 
Nov 13, 2009
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#3
Sorry for the little errors and outta place sentenses. I am still getting used to my iPhone
 
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FixYourWeave

Guest
#4
Do ankle socks count
 
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FixYourWeave

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#6
okay now about this two different shoes business..... What about flip flops?????
 
Nov 13, 2009
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#7
You made me laugh so I think I can make an exception this one time :p

I'm Liam, may I have the pleasure of knowing who I am talking to?
 
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FixYourWeave

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#8
you can make an exception lol ohhh well THAAAAAAANK you....

You have the pleasure of talking to me... and you are??
 
Nov 13, 2009
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#9
Liam Gray, but I don't expect you to be as liberal with the name giving, a first name would do. You could just make one up? :p
 
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FixYourWeave

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#10
I can make up any name i want!!! Okay you may call me, Princess Consuela Banana Hammock
 
Nov 13, 2009
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#11
You gave yourself a title... Cute. And you managed to somehow incorperate a string underwear joke how very Scrubs of you Princess. :)
 
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FixYourWeave

Guest
#12
Thats just how i roll. I hope it doesnt bother you that we will be thousands upon thousands upon thousands upon thousands up thousands upon thousands upon thousands of miles, and actually in a whole different time zone from away.
 
Nov 13, 2009
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#13
Thats just how i roll. I hope it doesnt bother you that we will be thousands upon thousands upon thousands upon thousands up thousands upon thousands upon thousands of miles, and actually in a whole different time zone from away.
I don't mind, that's what the phone is for. :)
 
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FixYourWeave

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#14
You make an intresting point. What if the phone lines are down though?
 
Nov 13, 2009
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#15
I think we will find a way to work though it, I know it's hard to be wirhout my charming wit but I am sure you'll manage
 
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FixYourWeave

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#16
Will i?? Ohh im not sure i can manage! hold up.......... Do i get an iphone to? Is that part of this deal??
 
Nov 13, 2009
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#17
Like most contracts involving the iPhone that would require a commitment sorry Princess. :)
 
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FixYourWeave

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#18
haha! shoot! Well wait. I might be able to do the commitment part. IF i get an iphone. Im trying to think what you will get out of this deal, however nothins cominin to mind....
 
Nov 13, 2009
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#19
A freind maybe? Laughs for sure.
 
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FixYourWeave

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#20
yes, i could definantly do the friend thing. What if we were the only two people left on the earth.. would you give me your iphone free of contract then??