Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

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cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#17,841
Mar 26, 2014
4,433
2,418
113
#17,841
MissCris said:

I talked to my one girl friend who isn't really a friend, and she actually sort of listened to me tonight. I tried to explain the lonely feeling, and her advice? "So be with somebody. You need a boyfriend."

I hate that any of this is even on my mind currently. Of course it's not always there, but the very idea of any future romantic anything makes my head spin and I start freaking out a little.

I tried to explain that to my friend. I think it came out as gibberish, because she just said she had to go and hung up.

Maybe it's just this vast, unknown future stretching out before me that's got me all sick to my stomach. Maybe I inhaled a moth or something. I need to install an off switch for my mind. It's way too hot in here. It would help if my mom would stop trying to comfort me by saying that after my divorce is final, I'll meet a nice man and get married again.That's not comforting, it's terrifying.
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Attention world: Boyfriends do not solve loneliness. Let Miss Cris deal with and get over getting out of an abusive marriage without suggesting that she needs a new relationship. Future romance is not required of her in order to live a happy life.


I got your back. Also I would suggest that part of the crazy is learning to deal with making your own decisions and being your own person instead of letting some controlling person live your life for you. It's learning a new skill and you are going to feel uncertain and awkward at times. That's ok. Oh and we don't mind your meltdowns, sometimes you just need to get that stuff out. Better to let the crazy out in small controlled doses than let it build up until it comes out as an incapacitating explosion.
 
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Arlene89

Guest
#17,843
#17,843
Last night being the first Sunday night of the mid year school holidays, we had something a bit different for our night service and had a 6.5 hour soaking session (not including the hour of practice). The worship team and I arrived an hour earlier and began practice at 4:30pm. At 5:30pm people entered the hall to pray, or sing, or read their bibles. It finished at midnight. We had two 30 minute breaks and played some music from our phone's playlists and had three 15 minute coffee breaks, but aside from that we just played and worship the night away. It felt more like two hours!

Overcoming my fear with playing my violin in front of people has been hard but man, when I gave it over to the Holy Spirit, DID HE MOVE! Several times the drummer and I were having intense instrumental duets. I don't know how drums and a violin works, but it did! It just came out of nowhere. Feeling an Amazing God pour in to me as I pour out my love to Him is very addictive. His presence is wonderful!
 
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MissCris

Guest
#17,844
#17,844
iTOREtheSKY said:
Ohhh no,no Cristen..it's ok,I'm not feeling like you flipped out at me here or anything of the sort. I was just reading what you'd posted & I didn't even think of it in that way,like "Duh..everyone knows yer' still married!" LOL..I guess it was just odd to see all your points in a row like that & then in my head I was thinking the obvious one of all...'cause like that's pretty much the crux of why we are not together...I mean not "all" of it,but yeah..ok..I'm rambling. I shouldn't have said anything. I didn't mean it to come across mean sounding or like in your face. I should really just shut up for like ever. :p I'm sorry yer' having a craptastic night btw. :(
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I can't even begin to process parts of this right now.
But thank you for clarifying.


Im in a horrible mood and am not entirely sure I can respond to anything else without snapping. I don't even know why I'm still awake.
 
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Arlene89

Guest
#17,845
#17,845
Oh, and I literally have a bruise under my chin from the chin rest of my violin, a bruise on my collar bone from the shoulder rest and creases imprinted in my finger tips from my violin strings. I don't think my body even realised what was going on, it was that crazy-wonderful.
 
Loveneverfails

Loveneverfails

Senior Member
#17,846
Feb 18, 2013
1,294
26
0
#17,846
cinder said:
Attention world: Boyfriends do not solve loneliness. Let Miss Cris deal with and get over getting out of an abusive marriage without suggesting that she needs a new relationship. Future romance is not required of her in order to live a happy life.
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yeah...I would just like to say a resounding "amen!" to all of this. ^

*hugs* try your best to not let such awful advice get to you. Focus on you and your babies. Keep venting here whenever you feel the need. Your frustrations and worries are valid, and we care. Praying for you.
 
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Tintin

Guest
#17,847
#17,847
And Arlene is back! Doing what she does naturally, being awesome!
 
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Arlene89

Guest
#17,848
#17,848
Tintin said:
And Arlene is back! Doing what she does naturally, being awesome!
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Although I didn't have to. Clearly you were doing a great job holding down fort 'awesome' all by yourself. Hahaha.

But I'll take what I can get. Thank you, thank you. *Curtsies*
 
W

ww_21

Guest
#17,849
#17,849
I have a migraine and I have to work today. My eyes hurt and my stomach is upset. It's gonna be a brilliant day.
 
Searching4Truth

Searching4Truth

Senior Member
#17,851
Jul 25, 2012
1,904
24
0
#17,851
I now want a dobro guitar... Been playing my acoustic electric guitar in open e tuning for the past several hours. I was looking up blues chords and then suddenly the licks & slide were involved. The shot glass my brother gave me actually came in handy for a slide. (I originally used it to put my loose change in.) :p
 
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iTOREtheSKY

Guest
#17,852
#17,852
Arlene89 said:
Last night being the first Sunday night of the mid year school holidays, we had something a bit different for our night service and had a 6.5 hour soaking session (not including the hour of practice). The worship team and I arrived an hour earlier and began practice at 4:30pm. At 5:30pm people entered the hall to pray, or sing, or read their bibles. It finished at midnight. We had two 30 minute breaks and played some music from our phone's playlists and had three 15 minute coffee breaks, but aside from that we just played and worship the night away. It felt more like two hours!

Overcoming my fear with playing my violin in front of people has been hard but man, when I gave it over to the Holy Spirit, DID HE MOVE! Several times the drummer and I were having intense instrumental duets. I don't know how drums and a violin works, but it did! It just came out of nowhere. Feeling an Amazing God pour in to me as I pour out my love to Him is very addictive. His presence is wonderful!
Click to expand...

This is so awesome Arlene!!! I can totally get it when you mentioned about you & the drummer feeding off one another. So many times that would happen in worship between myself & other musicians. It's an amazing feeling when the Holy Spirit takes over & you all just begin to flow into this awesome jam session. I dunno if you've played in a secular sense much or with musicians who are not playing christian music,but jams sessions where you just riff off one another don't even compare to when you have that between musicians during praise & worship. Thank you for sharing this post. It brought back so many wonderful memories for me of when I used to play in my old church. I really miss that connection that only God can bring through music & His Spirit among musicians like no other.
 
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Tintin

Guest
#17,853
#17,853
iTOREtheSKY said:
This is so awesome Arlene!!! I can totally get it when you mentioned about you & the drummer feeding off one another. So many times that would happen in worship between myself & other musicians. It's an amazing feeling when the Holy Spirit takes over & you all just begin to flow into this awesome jam session. I dunno if you've played in a secular sense much or with musicians who are not playing christian music,but jams sessions where you just riff off one another don't even compare to when you have that between musicians during praise & worship. Thank you for sharing this post. It brought back so many wonderful memories for me of when I used to play in my old church. I really miss that connection that only God can bring through music & His Spirit among musicians like no other.
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Awesome, brother! If only had a musical bone in my body.
 
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Tintin

Guest
#17,855
#17,855
iTOREtheSKY said:
I am an organ donor,so if I give you some of my DNA...lol
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Cheers, that might just work. I played the drums for a couple years in high school and enjoyed them but I didn't improve much, even with all of my practice. Or maybe Arlene can just play the violin and I can sing? lol Complete with Lindsey Stirling-style back-bends.

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Tintin

Guest
#17,856
#17,856
Bother. The picture didn't post. Here it is: The Lindsey Stirling back-bend.

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MissCris

Guest
#17,859
#17,859
I bought a couple of 12x12 canvasses yesterday, along with 16 different colors of glitter, and two different sizes/colors of rhinestones. This...is going to be epic.

 
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