I started the day out in a pretty crappy mood, you know, because of the cheesed-offness. But, a couple of friends (I HAVE FRIENDS!!! Break out the champagne!!) really helped me out and-
I'm going to derail my own self for a minute to say that I am like a whole new person lately. More so every day. The changes...ch-ch-ch-chaaaanges...
Where I used to be painfully shy, and terrified of meeting new people or even just talking to someone on the phone, I now find myself doing those things on purpose, I go looking to connect with others.
I don't stare at the ground while I'm walking anymore, or avoid people's eyes and give them an apologetic smile (apologizing for existing). I actually hope people I come across will look at me just so I can give them a real, warm smile. And guess what? Most of them smile back.
I've also lost two pounds.
I still have bad moments, or bad days, where I feel inferior or just downright scared. Hideous or not good enough.
But I've started to learn how to get over that quickly, how to reach out to a friend for help with it...I'm realizing OH DUH, people like, CARE about me. I've realized that I can, and should, and want to accept that.
I'm also learning, with help, that it's ok and even best sometimes to just cut certain people out of my life. I've always been afraid of doing that- I don't want to confront people, and I don't want to make anybody feel bad...but sometimes I can't be better until I cut those ties completely.
So, I started out the day cranky, but I'm ending it in a much better mood and with a new perspective.
AND I think I fixed my painting. Mostly.