Let's you and I start here.
What is it from you, that God wants.
Hmm, I suppose to love God and love our neighbors as Jesus said.
I know I am a sinner and have not done well in fulfilling either of these two in my life, but please for the sake of Jesus that he has been patient with me, be patient with me also. I know I am not perfect, but I have gotten better from where I was. I had repaid my friend I stole from and forgave my neighbor I been feuding with for years as I remembered it was written to leave your gift at the altar and reconcile with your brother before trying to offer anything to God.
After doing all that is when I began thinking on Jesus saying of selling all your possessions and was praying about this saying when you had messaged me a few days after that, thus I know that you love God and he loves you. I asked you give me time that I may finish my college classes lest my parents' souls faint inside them. Now that my classes have been over I have begun selling my things. I sue for patience again, for I have much possessions to sell, and sell them I will, but it will take time.
After this is accomplished I figure be baptised as I have not been baptised. After that I know not whither I go but trust that God shall make the path straightly. I admit I am torn in two directions, perhaps both of which are misdirected. But these are the two thoughts that tear me; I desire greatly to marry a certain woman, but if God does not wish it, then I suppose it must be fulfilled that I find myself martyred.
Whether all this is right or wrong in your sight, I shall allow you to judge. For I can only tell you of what I have seen and heard. Please be mindful, I do appreciate your advice and rebukes brother and elder, I do believe you at least intend well for the sake of love of God and neighbor.