Interesting! I hope I be given enough permission to be honest:
What is love? Is it a dead end street or a TWO ways avenue?
The love we learned 1st lesson was "being loved". That was absolutelly egotist! We were a loved child, we were dad´s or mom´s children and, as default, we could also be loved by grandparents or aunts or uncles. We thought we wre the center of the wolrd. We loved to be loved and we sought to be loved (just by receiving extra attention).
Once we´re grown up we knew it wasn´t love, the real one, but the selfish and self centered love... We area aware many adult still living that selfcentered love. You know them by many ways (I won´t mention them) but that is selfseeking and egotist, the way we were as children: I asked and seldom gave.
In high school we explored it more. We were attracted and attractive. We were aware we needed more and something new we didn´t know as infants (new drives arose and those hormones were addictive). Uff!
Those days we knew we were liked and. sometimes, drawn. We cling to those we liked and rejected those we don´t. However, we needed to prove we could get those who rejected us and, sometimes, we got it, sometimes we missed it (we make the most and the possible to be liked) (or left).
Is it a suffering? I don´t see it that way, though it hurts, sometimes.
Is it GOD´s faults (or ours)? No, it isn´t.
There are several options. As long as I´m getting old I´m aware I cannot ask too much neither I can give too much, in several ways and, what was so addictive becomes more spiritual, less physical, perhaps more romantic and naive. However, I know many people choices and attitudes toward love.
Love, essentially, is the giving instead of the asking (or demanding).
It´s free and tends to be less compulsive viscerally.
i think there´s no way to say "no" lo love, except to being loved. Here (there) we sometimes needed to say: I don´t want you to love me. I had to say that several times and, sadly (just for me) it hurt me whenever I heard someone told me: "I don´t want you to love me" because there were time when I was loving a person I shouldn´t have loved, but love is free. Free to be given and free to be received.
Love is not selfcentered nor selfish, but I needed to know it wasn´t that way. That lesson is learnt diferently by men or women, diferering ages are in that gap, but I think those toils worth those pains to be the place I am. I can love and also I´m aware my loving could be unsolicited. Is it my fault (or lack)? I know it. The important is I know it, it´s not my fault (but it could be my pain).
