You're so vain we can't see your inner beauty

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
R

Rachel20

Senior Member
May 7, 2013
1,639
106
63
A few verses that have been playing on my mind with regards to the topic I present is -

1 Timothy 2:9-10
Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.

1 Peter 3:3-4
Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.


With respect to these verses, it's clear that our beauty should be inwards, with a gentle spirit.

We also ought to be more modest as to not cause the bros and dudes to stumble.

And yet at the same time, we are reminded that our bodies are the temples of God.
Hence we ought to take care of it.

Women are berated for not maintaining themselves and not dressing up well, if they're anything less than some feminine standard.
And if a woman is too dressed up, she's considered vain and even judged as an "airhead"
(If a woman is too pretty, she must be dumb.)

Women are subjected to such scrutiny on their looks, by all of society in general.

Especially in today's age and media - people are constantly bombarded with images and pictures of skinny and flawless women photo-shopped to perfection. These are unrealistic standards and objectives to be met.

Men don't seem to have it that bad, but then there are men who spend hours in the gym sculpting their muscles. We all love our selfies.

(It is really reassuring to know that God looks at our heart and not appearance)

However the questions that have arisen in my mind are -

Does the present cultural and social scenario make it harder for people to be less vain and more modest?

Should Christians be concerned about their looks and take care of themselves? Does a boundary exist, and if it does, where does it begin or end?



PS - I wanted to post in the Ladies Forum but I thought let's hear what them gentlemen have to say to dem womyn. :)

Yo.
And vice versa.



 

Does the present cultural and social scenario make it harder for people to be less vain and more modest?

I really feel like there is "nothing new under the sun". Human nature is the same now as it has been since the Fall of Man. The sin is the same. It just takes different forms as culture changes.

Should Christians be concerned about their looks and take care of themselves? Does a boundary exist, and if it does, where does it begin or end?

If we are looking at the inner sin (vanity or pride) rather than the result of the sin we will be better able to judge how far is too far. If you're spending time or money or thought on your appearance to the exclusion of other more important things, it seems like idolatry. I suppose the real question is, how can you tell if something is an idol in your life?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Rachel20
Grace-Like-Rain said:

Does the present cultural and social scenario make it harder for people to be less vain and more modest?

I really feel like there is "nothing new under the sun". Human nature is the same now as it has been since the Fall of Man. The sin is the same. It just takes different forms as culture changes.

Should Christians be concerned about their looks and take care of themselves? Does a boundary exist, and if it does, where does it begin or end?

If we are looking at the inner sin (vanity or pride) rather than the result of the sin we will be better able to judge how far is too far. If you're spending time or money or thought on your appearance to the exclusion of other more important things, it seems like idolatry. I suppose the real question is, how can you tell if something is an idol in your life?
Click to expand...



Nice answer Grace :)


I think so as well, that if something comes between you and God, then it should be a matter of concern.


I just think it's also really hypocritical to expect women to be modest and at the same time abhor frumpyness.

We all dress up in our "Sunday Best" to go to church. How are we really seeing people's inner beauty and heart when we're so captivated by the outside?

Just thoughts.


Them flow like water.
 
I do believe there is social pressure on women to be thinner these days. Every woman I know is either on a diet or says she needs to go one one. My cousin, maybe 96 pounds soaking wet, arms like twigs - "I could really stand to lose a little weight." Every magazine marketed at women that I see at the checkout stand has "The Newest Diet" on the front cover in large print (which makes me wonder what happened to the diet they were advertising last month... and the month before that... and the month before that... and why is this new one so much better, and what will they think of this new diet next month when they're touting the next one?) Not to mention all the downright emaciated people that we are told we should look up to and idolize as stars and celebrities.

You didn't mention makeup, but I'll mention this anyway - if a woman wears makeup it makes me think she has something to hide. And frankly I think it looks artificial. I'd rather see you than a fake image you think looks better than you. Just saying.

I have learned from experience to never make a first impression of anyone, man or woman, before I talk to them. Some of the prettiest people are the ugliest.

On a side note, the title of this thread reminded me of a Carly Simon song, "You're so vain."
 
I have only one thing to say about this topic... :rolleyes:

h0525F9C6
 
Does the present cultural and social scenario make it harder for people to be less vain and more modest?

i think yes, in some ways, because we will always be influenced by the world and their standard.

i think it's much more difficult for women who buy into the notion that their beauty is their best feature, or their primary value, because they will always be seeking validation from that deliberate effort to be appreciated for that. and it's a losing proposition.

as we age, we can grow in lots of ways, but if beauty is what you hope to be appreciated for, you will be battling uphill to maintain what you were appreciated for. one of the most pitiful things i've ever seen is a woman who spent the majority of her life being validated for her looks, who is now in her 60s and having a crisis because she is bankrupt in her valued currency.

our treasure will never be here on earth, but in heaven.

Should Christians be concerned about their looks and take care of themselves? Does a boundary exist, and if it does, where does it begin or end?

there's a difference between being a good steward of your resources and being proud or turning your body/looks into an idol. i think the line is different for everyone. some of us require more effort than others to be healthy, and some have responsibilities or callings that require a different level of fitness or health.

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own,for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
1 corinthians 6:19, 20

each person has to find that line for themselves. if your body/looks become your "joy", identity and a distraction to yourself or others, i think you've crossed that line. also, i think healthy people are going to be more attractive in general, so the healthy/looks thing goes hand in hand.
 
Last edited:
Agree with everyone here. :)

Not only that... but some of you may have heard me say this more than once... And sorry if its getting annoying haha, but its the journey that I am currently on right now lol.

I think when you focus only on Jesus, all things fall into place and there is pretty darn near perfect balance in your life. For example, this is something I am going through... When I was a mess, far from God, didn't care about my body as the temple of God. I felt ugly on the inside and it showed on the outside. But the closer I draw to God, the more I feel beautiful on the inside, which has caused me to pull myself together... Getting in shape... Eating healthier... Growing stronger... Not because I am trying to look good, but because I realize that it pleases my Father when I take care of myself because He loves me and wants the best for me. Instead of using society as a measuring tool, I am using my Father's expectations as a measuring tool. How can I expect the Father to use me for His kingdom if I cannot even care for myself? It is like the parable about how when you grow what God has already given you, He will bless you with even more. Then in the end, your beauty from the inside shows on the outside, and you can give full credit to God because He inspired you and showed you how beautiful you really are.

My goal is to become the woman that God has called me to be... And I know I'm not meant to be a couch potato or something like that... Because He calls me to be more than that. It starts with knowing your identity in Christ, and if you focus on Christ alone, you can find balance and identify more easily when your appearance becomes more of an idol... Etc...
 
didymos: How could you put down the Cardassians that way? They are an advanced species with a wonderful culture. :P

gypsygirl said:
One of the most pitiful things i've ever seen is a woman who spent the majority of her life being validated for her looks, who is now in her 60s and having a crisis because she is bankrupt in her valued currency.
Click to expand...
Thinking of some women I have seen in their twilight years, with that embalmed look that comes from a lot of face-lifts... I'd have to agree. Not to mention the blindingly bright red lipstick... Men who think their most important feature is their physique and women who believe they are loved most for their physical beauty never grow old gracefully because growing old is anathema to them.
 
Rachel20 said:
A few verses that have been playing on my mind with regards to the topic I present is -

1 Timothy 2:9-10
Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.

1 Peter 3:3-4
Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.


With respect to these verses, it's clear that our beauty should be inwards, with a gentle spirit.

We also ought to be more modest as to not cause the bros and dudes to stumble.

And yet at the same time, we are reminded that our bodies are the temples of God.
Hence we ought to take care of it.

Women are berated for not maintaining themselves and not dressing up well, if they're anything less than some feminine standard.
And if a woman is too dressed up, she's considered vain and even judged as an "airhead"
(If a woman is too pretty, she must be dumb.)

Women are subjected to such scrutiny on their looks, by all of society in general.

Especially in today's age and media - people are constantly bombarded with images and pictures of skinny and flawless women photo-shopped to perfection. These are unrealistic standards and objectives to be met.

Men don't seem to have it that bad, but then there are men who spend hours in the gym sculpting their muscles. We all love our selfies.

(It is really reassuring to know that God looks at our heart and not appearance)

However the questions that have arisen in my mind are -

Does the present cultural and social scenario make it harder for people to be less vain and more modest?

Should Christians be concerned about their looks and take care of themselves? Does a boundary exist, and if it does, where does it begin or end?



PS - I wanted to post in the Ladies Forum but I thought let's hear what them gentlemen have to say to dem womyn. :)

Yo.
And vice versa.
Click to expand...
I know this is a tough thing these days for women. I feel for the ones who struggle with this. It's important that we try to make ourselves as good a partner as we can for our other, since that's what we would want. But the inner beauty and the glory of God in all of us is what makes us TRULY attractive! And most of all, a positive attitude towards others, and life itself.

The saddest part of this, is when we are so selfish and "special" inside that we have to make a show of our "excessive wit" just to grab attention. I believe this is mentioned in the Bible a few times as well, both men and women are guilty of this these days, but especially men, of all ages. I understand that some feel desperation and it leaks out there egos, but if we are honest with ourselves, and with our fellow Christians, we will be much more valued by our savior as well as other Christians. In these times when Christians are being persecuted overseas, we can't afford to be so selfish in these times.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Rachel20 said:
However the questions that have arisen in my mind are -
Does the present cultural and social scenario make it harder for people to be less vain and more modest?
Click to expand...
Our expectations of a typical man or a typical woman is influenced by the culture and society we are exposed to. In my opinion, being influenced by them is not wronger per se. But if the influence is contrary to what the Bible teaches us, then that is wrong. For example, if you are influenced to feel superior about your culture/race/language, then that is contrary to what the Bible teaches and hence it is wrong.

Rachel20 said:
Should Christians be concerned about their looks and take care of themselves? Does a boundary exist, and if it does, where does it begin or end?
Click to expand...

Of course! We must be concerned about our looks and we must take care of ourselves! But we must not obsess over it. It is vanity only if we are constantly fretting over our looks. Going to a gym to put on some weight if you are skinny or to lose weight if you are obese is not wrong. But splurging money to buy the latest fashion brands or to dress up like your celebrity idols are vanity and are wrong.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back