RAPE: Info, Statistics, and What To Do

[blue_ladybug]

All too often, rape goes unreported, and the attacker is free to rape again. If you or someone you know has been raped, please report it! It is not your fault that this happened.

 

[Esanta]

tourist, thank you!! Rape happens to men also, but you rarely ever hear about a man getting raped, or coming forward to report it. I am more than glad to bring awareness and information to others on these types of subjects.

If we take into account prison statistics, rape happens more to men than to women in the USA.

 

[blue_ladybug]

If we take into account prison statistics, rape happens more to men than to women in the USA.

​That is very true, Esanta, but you have to also take into account that women ALSO get raped in prison.

 

[oldernotwiser]

View attachment 86942All too often, rape goes unreported, and the attacker is free to rape again. If you or someone you know has been raped, please report it! It is not your fault that this happened.[/QUO

it may be. but it may also be like blaming a reporter for going into a combat zone without protective equipment. i am not blaming a rape victim when i say that if a young woman goes to a college dorm room with three football players to drink ..... she is placing herself at risk. when i was 13 years old i had a 15 foot wooden boat, a real old fashioned rowing boat for salt water. my father was a fisherman and if i told him i was going to row across the atlantic he might tell me i had a right to do it but i'd be a damn fool to try, something bad would certainly happen to me.TE]

 

[Esanta]

View attachment 86942All too often, rape goes unreported, and the attacker is free to rape again. If you or someone you know has been raped, please report it! It is not your fault that this happened.[/QUO

it may be. but it may also be like blaming a reporter for going into a combat zone without protective equipment. i am not blaming a rape victim when i say that if a young woman goes to a college dorm room with three football players to drink ..... she is placing herself at risk. when i was 13 years old i had a 15 foot wooden boat, a real old fashioned rowing boat for salt water. my father was a fisherman and if i told him i was going to row across the atlantic he might tell me i had a right to do it but i'd be a damn fool to try, something bad would certainly happen to me.TE]

This is really true. Like, if you go into a dingey, divey, grotty place full of drunk shady people wearing nothing but a little skirt and tube top, you're probably either really naive or really stupid, or both. Now obviously any rapist should be brought to justice, and it's wrong to do something like that, but at the same time, people could do a lot more to avoid the situation.

There's also this completely false idea that when a woman is drunk, any sex with her is rape. That's simply not true. If a woman chooses to get drunk then makes bad decisions in that state, courts in the UK will often come out with a decision along the lines of ''you should have been more responsible to begin with''.

Regretted sex is not rape.

 

[blue_ladybug]

This is really true. Like, if you go into a dingey, divey, grotty place full of drunk shady people wearing nothing but a little skirt and tube top, you're probably either really naive or really stupid, or both. Now obviously any rapist should be brought to justice, and it's wrong to do something like that, but at the same time, people could do a lot more to avoid the situation.

There's also this completely false idea that when a woman is drunk, any sex with her is rape. That's simply not true. If a woman chooses to get drunk then makes bad decisions in that state, courts in the UK will often come out with a decision along the lines of ''you should have been more responsible to begin with''.

Regretted sex is not rape.

It most certainly is! Regardless of if the victim is drunk or not, the man should realize that she's not thinking with a clear mind and therefore cannot make a safe, rational decision while under the influence of alcohol! But no, most men take advantage of the drunken state to "get lucky." THAT is immoral, amoral, criminal and abhorrent.

 

[blue_ladybug]

BECAUSE RAPE IS NEVER ​THE VICTIM'S FAULT!!

 

[blue_ladybug]

​You cant afford to be a part of the problem!

 

[oldernotwiser]

It most certainly is! Regardless of if the victim is drunk or not, the man should realize that she's not thinking with a clear mind and therefore cannot make a safe, rational decision while under the influence of alcohol! But no, most men take advantage of the drunken state to "get lucky." THAT is immoral, amoral, criminal and abhorrent.

the problem that i see is: what if the man is also drunk? who is the rapist?

 

[blue_ladybug]

the problem that i see is: what if the man is also drunk? who is the rapist?

If the guy is drunk, my reply below would also apply to him as well. A drunk person is incapable of making sound judgment decisions because they are in an impaired state of mind and cannot think clearly and logically. If the man is drunk and still goes ahead and rapes the girl anyway, that does not make him much of a man AND it STILL makes him a rapist!!

It most certainly is! Regardless of if the victim is drunk or not, the man should realize that she's not thinking with a clear mind and therefore cannot make a safe, rational decision while under the influence of alcohol! But no, most men take advantage of the drunken state to "get lucky." THAT is immoral, amoral, criminal and abhorrent.

 

[oldernotwiser]

If the guy is drunk, my reply below would also apply to him as well. A drunk person is incapable of making sound judgment decisions because they are in an impaired state of mind and cannot think clearly and logically. If the man is drunk and still goes ahead and rapes the girl anyway, that does not make him much of a man AND it STILL makes him a rapist!!

It most certainly is! Regardless of if the victim is drunk or not, the man should realize that she's not thinking with a clear mind and therefore cannot make a safe, rational decision while under the influence of alcohol! But no, most men take advantage of the drunken state to "get lucky." THAT is immoral, amoral, criminal and abhorrent.

but what if the woman is the aggressor? im 75 but i have heard rumors that can happen now that we are in the 21st century. i have a chinese grand daughter (she adopted me 8 years ago.) her social circle is made up of young chinese and foreign academics and grad students. not only do their values confuse (and frighten me) but they confuse her as well. she was angered after a young man took her home by taxi one evening and when she thanked him and said "good night" he told the group that she had "dumped him" and they seemed to agree. she was horrified when one young (american) woman heard the rumor that a new male foreign student was a virgin and told shelley that she intended to get him. what if she gets him drunk? what if they are both drunk? i just think that things ain't so simple anymore

 

[blue_ladybug]

but what if the woman is the aggressor? im 75 but i have heard rumors that can happen now that we are in the 21st century. i have a chinese grand daughter (she adopted me 8 years ago.) her social circle is made up of young chinese and foreign academics and grad students. not only do their values confuse (and frighten me) but they confuse her as well. she was angered after a young man took her home by taxi one evening and when she thanked him and said "good night" he told the group that she had "dumped him" and they seemed to agree. she was horrified when one young (american) woman heard the rumor that a new male foreign student was a virgin and told shelley that she intended to get him. what if she gets him drunk? what if they are both drunk? i just think that things ain't so simple anymore

Rape is never simple. If the woman is the aggressor, and chases the man or whatever, then it's up to the man to say no and rebuff her advances, not say "ok we're drunk and we're gonna regret it tomorrow but let's have sex anyway"!! Maybe if more men were'nt so eager to "get laid" there would not be so many rapes. I'm sorry but I think a man's (most anyway) brain is usually on how, when, and how many times he can score or get lucky.

If your granddaughter's friends' values scare and confuse her, then she needs to steer clear of those people. Before she ends up as a rape victim herself, or possibly even worse than that. Being drunk or stoned is NEVER an excuse for raping someone. Neither is stupidity but men and women inevitably turn stupid when they have a few bottles of alcohol in them. Stupid and careless.

 

[Esanta]

Grown women aren't infants, and unless you want to be treated like infants, you need to take responsibility for your own actions. If a man gets himself very drunk, and is approached by a woman he fancies, and they have sex, he may well regret it the next day, but it was his choice to drink what he did, his drunken choice to get into bed, and his responsibility to deal with the regret and behave more sensibly next time he goes out.

The same applies to women. That's equality.

 

[blue_ladybug]

NO MEANS NO!!

 

[Esanta]

NO MEANS NO!!

Of course it does, but regretted sex isn't the same thing as forcing sex when a woman says no. I could have sex with my partner and regret it because we argued beforehand and didn't sort out our problems, thus the sex was shallow. That's regretted sex.

I could go out to a club, have a drink, have sex with a somewhat drunk girl who instigates the encounter, and she could regret it the next day. That's regretted sex.

Rape is, by definition, the forcing of sex against someone else's will. Regretted sex is not the same thing. The reason I brought it up is because there seems to be this trend of women thinking that when they've had a few they can't be held accountable for their actions, thus any sex they have after a drink is actually them being raped, but that's just not true, and it's a very irresponsible and dangerous view to take.

 

[blue_ladybug]

Of course it does, but regretted sex isn't the same thing as forcing sex when a woman says no. I could have sex with my partner and regret it because we argued beforehand and didn't sort out our problems, thus the sex was shallow. That's regretted sex.

I could go out to a club, have a drink, have sex with a somewhat drunk girl who instigates the encounter, and she could regret it the next day. That's regretted sex.

Rape is, by definition, the forcing of sex against someone else's will. Regretted sex is not the same thing. The reason I brought it up is because there seems to be this trend of women thinking that when they've had a few they can't be held accountable for their actions, thus any sex they have after a drink is actually them being raped, but that's just not true, and it's a very irresponsible and dangerous view to take.

Okay let me show you the difference between regretted sex and rape. To use your example of going to a club, drinking and having sex with a drunk girl, REGARDLESS of whether she is drunk or not, or whether she initiated the encounter, YOU should know enough to realize that taking advantage of a drunk person is STILL rape! You know she's drunk, and not thinking clearly so she is OBVIOUSLY incapable of making a rational decision. You know it's wrong to take advantage of a person in that frame of mind. Whether you force her or not, it is still rape. The next morning, you wake up, she realizes what happened and says she wasnt thinking clearly and didnt want to have sex, and she calls the cops and arrests you. THAT is when you will regret having sex with a drunk person.

NO ONE can make rational decisions under the influence of alcohol, especially when they are so drunk that they cant stand up, cant walk before falling, and cant defend themselves. No offense, Esanta, but you are in a foreign country, and the USA treats rape and rape perpetrators much differently here. Drunk or not, the guy is expected to have sense enough to not get into that kind of situation!!! But all too often, a guy sees a drunk girl and knows she's an easy target, and all he is thinking about is how he's about to get lucky, which is a sick and twisted way of thinking.

MY opinion is men need to stop letting their brains get dictated to by their penises!! They need to stop thinking of sex 24-7 and get some morals. But monsters like that lack any sense of morality because they are so disgustingly horny all the time. I believe men like that should have castration forced upon them by the government in order to further help stop rape. That may sound harsh, but it's true, and if men cant face the consequence of what happens when they rape someone then they need to keep it in their pants or risk losing it to castration!!! Rape, by definition is the UNWANTED forcing or coercion of sex.

This article is taken from http://definitions.uslegal.com/r/rape/.

[h=1]Rape Law & Legal Definition[/h]

​

In the United States, rape is the most serious form of sexual assault punishable by law, but the definition of what constitutes rape varies from state to state. In all states, if a man forcibly subjects a woman who is not his wife to sexual intercourse without her consent, he has committed the crime of rape.
Recently, an increasing number of states have passed rape reform laws to define rape to include certain nonconsensual incidents of intercourse without requiring the use of force as well as the rape of one’s spouse. Any sexual intercourse with a child is rape and in most states sexual relations even with consent involving a girl 14 to 18 is "statutory rape," because of the lack of the child's capacity to consent. Rape may also be found when a person has sex with a victim who is deemed legally incapable of consenting if she or he is known to be mentally incompetent, intoxicated, or drugged.
Rape shield laws have been passed in almost all states to protect victims from the emotional trauma of being questioned about their sexual history on the witness stand. The fear of being humiliated has discouraged victims from reporting and pursuing charges. On the federal level, the United States Congress enacted Rule 412 of the Federal Rules of Evidence. This Rule declares that evidence offered to prove the victim engaged in other sexual behavior, or evidence offered to prove any victim's sexual predisposition, is generally inadmissable in any civil or criminal proceeding involving alleged sexual misconduct.
Some states require the complaint of rape must be made within a certain time period. State laws vary on application of the "fresh complaint" doctrine. A fresh complaint is one made voluntarily and reasonably promptly after the sexual abuse. Discovery of rape trauma syndrome has undermined the fresh complaint rule, which was based on the assumption that delayed complaints of rape were less reliable.
The following is an example of a State Statute (Kentucky) defining 1st , 2nd and 3rd degree Rape:
KRS § 510.040. Rape in the first degree.


(1) A person is guilty of rape in the first degree when:
(a) He engages in sexual intercourse with another person by forcible compulsion; or
(b) He engages in sexual intercourse with another person who is incapable of consent because he:
1. Is physically helpless; or
2. Is less than twelve (12) years old.
(2) Rape in the first degree is a Class B felony unless the victim is under twelve (12) years old or receives a serious physical injury in which case it is a Class A felony.
KRS § 510.050 . Rape in the second degree.
(1) A person is guilty of rape in the second degree when:
(a) Being eighteen (18) years old or more, he engages in sexual intercourse with another person less than fourteen (14) years old; or
(b) He engages in sexual intercourse with another person who is mentally incapacitated.
(2) Rape in the second degree is a Class C felony.
KRS § 510.060 . Rape in the third degree.
(1) A person is guilty of rape in the third degree when:
(a) He engages in sexual intercourse with another person who is incapable of consent because he or she is mentally retarded;
(b) Being twenty-one (21) years old or more, he or she engages in sexual intercourse with another person less than sixteen (16) years old;
(c) Being twenty-one (21) years old or more, he or she engages in sexual intercourse with another person less than eighteen (18) years old and for whom he or she provides a foster family home as defined in KRS 600.020; or
(d) Being a person in a position of authority or position of special trust, as defined in KRS 532.045, he or she engages in sexual intercourse with a minor under sixteen (16) years old with whom he or she comes into contact as a result of that position.
(2) Rape in the third degree is a Class D felony.

I suggest you read the above article thoroughly and more than once. It states precisely what rape is. A word of advice: never try to argue the subject of rape with a rape victim, because even though I AM being impartial on this subject, I know alot more about it than you ever will, because I have first-hand knowlege, so you will NOT win this debate!!

 

[Esanta]

Okay let me show you the difference between regretted sex and rape. To use your example of going to a club, drinking and having sex with a drunk girl, REGARDLESS of whether she is drunk or not, or whether she initiated the encounter, YOU should know enough to realize that taking advantage of a drunk person is STILL rape! You know she's drunk, and not thinking clearly so she is OBVIOUSLY incapable of making a rational decision. You know it's wrong to take advantage of a person in that frame of mind. Whether you force her or not, it is still rape. The next morning, you wake up, she realizes what happened and says she wasnt thinking clearly and didnt want to have sex, and she calls the cops and arrests you. THAT is when you will regret having sex with a drunk person.

NO ONE can make rational decisions under the influence of alcohol, especially when they are so drunk that they cant stand up, cant walk before falling, and cant defend themselves. No offense, Esanta, but you are in a foreign country, and the USA treats rape and rape perpetrators much differently here. Drunk or not, the guy is expected to have sense enough to not get into that kind of situation!!! But all too often, a guy sees a drunk girl and knows she's an easy target, and all he is thinking about is how he's about to get lucky, which is a sick and twisted way of thinking.

MY opinion is men need to stop letting their brains get dictated to by their penises!! They need to stop thinking of sex 24-7 and get some morals. But monsters like that lack any sense of morality because they are so disgustingly horny all the time. I believe men like that should have castration forced upon them by the government in order to further help stop rape. That may sound harsh, but it's true, and if men cant face the consequence of what happens when they rape someone then they need to keep it in their pants or risk losing it to castration!!! Rape, by definition is the UNWANTED forcing or coercion of sex.

This article is taken from http://definitions.uslegal.com/r/rape/.

Rape Law & Legal Definition



In the United States, rape is the most serious form of sexual assault punishable by law, but the definition of what constitutes rape varies from state to state. In all states, if a man forcibly subjects a woman who is not his wife to sexual intercourse without her consent, he has committed the crime of rape.
Recently, an increasing number of states have passed rape reform laws to define rape to include certain nonconsensual incidents of intercourse without requiring the use of force as well as the rape of one’s spouse. Any sexual intercourse with a child is rape and in most states sexual relations even with consent involving a girl 14 to 18 is "statutory rape," because of the lack of the child's capacity to consent. Rape may also be found when a person has sex with a victim who is deemed legally incapable of consenting if she or he is known to be mentally incompetent, intoxicated, or drugged.
Rape shield laws have been passed in almost all states to protect victims from the emotional trauma of being questioned about their sexual history on the witness stand. The fear of being humiliated has discouraged victims from reporting and pursuing charges. On the federal level, the United States Congress enacted Rule 412 of the Federal Rules of Evidence. This Rule declares that evidence offered to prove the victim engaged in other sexual behavior, or evidence offered to prove any victim's sexual predisposition, is generally inadmissable in any civil or criminal proceeding involving alleged sexual misconduct.
Some states require the complaint of rape must be made within a certain time period. State laws vary on application of the "fresh complaint" doctrine. A fresh complaint is one made voluntarily and reasonably promptly after the sexual abuse. Discovery of rape trauma syndrome has undermined the fresh complaint rule, which was based on the assumption that delayed complaints of rape were less reliable.
The following is an example of a State Statute (Kentucky) defining 1st , 2nd and 3rd degree Rape:
KRS § 510.040. Rape in the first degree.


(1) A person is guilty of rape in the first degree when:
(a) He engages in sexual intercourse with another person by forcible compulsion; or
(b) He engages in sexual intercourse with another person who is incapable of consent because he:
1. Is physically helpless; or
2. Is less than twelve (12) years old.
(2) Rape in the first degree is a Class B felony unless the victim is under twelve (12) years old or receives a serious physical injury in which case it is a Class A felony.
KRS § 510.050 . Rape in the second degree.
(1) A person is guilty of rape in the second degree when:
(a) Being eighteen (18) years old or more, he engages in sexual intercourse with another person less than fourteen (14) years old; or
(b) He engages in sexual intercourse with another person who is mentally incapacitated.
(2) Rape in the second degree is a Class C felony.
KRS § 510.060 . Rape in the third degree.
(1) A person is guilty of rape in the third degree when:
(a) He engages in sexual intercourse with another person who is incapable of consent because he or she is mentally retarded;
(b) Being twenty-one (21) years old or more, he or she engages in sexual intercourse with another person less than sixteen (16) years old;
(c) Being twenty-one (21) years old or more, he or she engages in sexual intercourse with another person less than eighteen (18) years old and for whom he or she provides a foster family home as defined in KRS 600.020; or
(d) Being a person in a position of authority or position of special trust, as defined in KRS 532.045, he or she engages in sexual intercourse with a minor under sixteen (16) years old with whom he or she comes into contact as a result of that position.
(2) Rape in the third degree is a Class D felony.

I suggest you read the above article thoroughly and more than once. It states precisely what rape is. A word of advice: never try to argue the subject of rape with a rape victim, because even though I AM being impartial on this subject, I know alot more about it than you ever will, because I have first-hand knowlege, so you will NOT win this debate!!

You're advocating for men to be forcibly castrated upon the first instance that they ''want to get laid''. I hate to break it to you, but a desire for sex is a human instinct, so I think you're in the wrong species, love. I also think you're extremely deluded and totally unqualified to enter into any kind of rational debate at all, but aside from that, let's look at the legislation you posted, because not in any instance within the classifications of what constitutes first degree, second degree or third degree rape is alcohol mentioned; not once. It mentions engaging in sex with someone who is unable to give consent because they are PHYSICALLY HELPLESS. A women who's had a couple of drinks is not physically helpless. A woman who has had ten drinks and can't even stand up; that's physically helpless.

Don't be fooled; it's not illegal to have sex with a consenting girl who's had a few drinks. Having consensual sex after a few drinks is not the same as rape, at all.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines rape as: ''The crime of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with the offender against their will''

Consensual sex after some drinks is not forced sex, and it's not illegal either. And if someone wakes up hungover and regrets that they slept with a man drunk; well it wouldn't be the first time people do things out of character after alcohol.

 

[PopClick]

Okay let me show you the difference between regretted sex and rape. To use your example of going to a club, drinking and having sex with a drunk girl, REGARDLESS of whether she is drunk or not, or whether she initiated the encounter, YOU should know enough to realize that taking advantage of a drunk person is STILL rape! You know she's drunk, and not thinking clearly so she is OBVIOUSLY incapable of making a rational decision... Whether you force her or not, it is still rape.

Drunk or not, the guy is expected to have sense enough to not get into that kind of situation!!!

...But the girl isn't?

Being responsible for one's self INCLUDES not getting so drunk that you don't know what's going on. Male or female, you do need to be responsible for your own actions. You can't do that effectively when you're smashed. So don't get smashed. I find it interesting that you expect a guy to have enough sense to not get himself into a compromising situation whether he is drunk or sober, but the girl is always blameless, even if she got herself so hammered that she couldn't make a rational decision.

MY opinion is men need to stop letting their brains get dictated to by their penises!! They need to stop thinking of sex 24-7 and get some morals. But monsters like that lack any sense of morality because they are so disgustingly horny all the time. I believe men like that should have castration forced upon them by the government in order to further help stop rape. That may sound harsh, but it's true, and if men cant face the consequence of what happens when they rape someone then they need to keep it in their pants or risk losing it to castration!!!

I think that you are being unfair to men. I'm sure you will say that you only meant SOME men, only the men who act like you described. But this comment paints guys with too broad of a brush. Rape is not caused by men. It is caused by rapists.

 

[blue_ladybug]

BOTH parties need to take responsibility but unfortunately oftentimes, they dont! They get smashed, have sex, regret it afterwards. The girl should have some sense too but usually when men and women are out partying, that's all their mind is focused on: having fun and having a good time. It's not until something bad happens that they sober up and say "oops I should'nt have done that." Maybe people need to stop and think, "I'm going out partying but I DONT need to get drunk to have fun."

But here's a twist on the situation: what if the guy (or girl) slips a mickey into the other person's drink and they dont know it? Is that considered careless on the girl's part to trust the guy not to slip her a date rape drug? Or is it considered devious on the guy's part (OBVIOUSLY)?

 

[Esanta]

BOTH parties need to take responsibility but unfortunately oftentimes, they dont! They get smashed, have sex, regret it afterwards. The girl should have some sense too but usually when men and women are out partying, that's all their mind is focused on: having fun and having a good time. It's not until something bad happens that they sober up and say "oops I should'nt have done that." Maybe people need to stop and think, "I'm going out partying but I DONT need to get drunk to have fun."

But here's a twist on the situation: what if the guy (or girl) slips a mickey into the other person's drink and they dont know it? Is that considered careless on the girl's part to trust the guy not to slip her a date rape drug? Or is it considered devious on the guy's part (OBVIOUSLY)?

That last question makes you sound as if you reckon I'm a complete and total idiot. Slipping a drug in anybody's drink is despicable.