Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

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lil_christian

Senior Member
Mar 14, 2010
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No, Rachel, it is not because of you. Truly. :) I respect your boldness tremendously. It is completely because of me. I (and someone who is dear to me, who has been helping me a great deal) am concerned that I will become more involved than I am prepared to handle right now because of some things I am going through personally. That's all. :)

I do not feel the need to defend my life or my beliefs to anyone. I hope no one else feels that way either, as none of us should be seeking to please anyone other than the Lord..submitting ourselves to Him in order to bring about the healing, changes and growth He knows we all need, some of us more than others. :)

I have missed you all very much, but I do not want to be online as much as I was before. I also want to keep my stress levels as low as possible during my healing process. I tried to stick with the lighter/non-controversial threads (in spite of the fact that I'm drawn to those that challenge me :) ); but, surprisingly some things turned out to be more controversial than I could anticipate. :) That was an exercise in poor judgment on my part, and I do apologize for that. :)

I love you all and I pray for all of you, mostly that you will continue to dive under the rope into the deeper end of the pool as you do. The greater the challenge, the greater the growth, the greater the purpose, the greater the love to be shared.
Love ya Jules. Hate to see you leave so soon after joining us again. But I understand. <3 Hope this is a time restoration and overall rest. :)
 
Aug 2, 2009
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No, Rachel, it is not because of you. Truly. :) I respect your boldness tremendously. It is completely because of me. I (and someone who is dear to me, who has been helping me a great deal) am concerned that I will become more involved than I am prepared to handle right now because of some things I am going through personally. That's all. :)

I do not feel the need to defend my life or my beliefs to anyone. I hope no one else feels that way either, as none of us should be seeking to please anyone other than the Lord..submitting ourselves to Him in order to bring about the healing, changes and growth He knows we all need, some of us more than others. :)

I have missed you all very much, but I do not want to be online as much as I was before. I also want to keep my stress levels as low as possible during my healing process. I tried to stick with the lighter/non-controversial threads (in spite of the fact that I'm drawn to those that challenge me :) ); but, surprisingly some things turned out to be more controversial than I could anticipate. :) That was an exercise in poor judgment on my part, and I do apologize for that. :)

I love you all and I pray for all of you, mostly that you will continue to dive under the rope into the deeper end of the pool as you do. The greater the challenge, the greater the growth, the greater the purpose, the greater the love to be shared.
Hate to see you go, Dianna. :( Here's looking at you, kid..

[video=youtube;Bv8MGYnP820]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bv8MGYnP820[/video]
 
Jul 25, 2012
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I wish I could respond coherently. I want to respond in manner in which you'd understand me clearly. I want to talk to you. But shamefully I don't always clearly understand you.
 
B

blueorchidjd

Guest
It's a little different but God says that he is working always on the heavenly situations, not necessarily the earthly ones
Maybe even the earthly ones too.
I want something to show for all of his working in me
I want to show people that even though things aren't cookie cutter that God is still blessing me and provides for me.
I don't feel like I have much to offer but I feel that a lot of other people feel that way too about themselves and MAN that is a relief.
So I'm not overwhelmed by that aspect anymore , like over 70%
God is building compassion in me, I have been lacking compassion for the longest time now.
Also in the past I had this mentality where I would love people and feel like I was turning my back on God through that, now I know its not the case. What is turning our backs on God is approving of indecency and evil.

Once you have the Lord working in you so heavily you will not even want to turn back to the old man,
The best thing to remember is that there are no absolutes except for the Lord... and thinking is good.
Thinking on the good things and harvesting memories, tracing back the lineage of how he has truly blessed us. Because any other detail or factor is sent by the enemy to disillusion us
It's easy to think 'what could happen if I fail?' well...truth is you will fail, but Jesus gives you strength at that moment. So this failing that you absolutely dread, is really you believing you will trust in yourself instead of him.


Blah's all on a page.
 
Jul 25, 2012
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Question: Are you a Christian?
Mental Response: I want to say 'yes', but my life doesn't reflect Christ as it should.
Given Answer: I'm not sure.

Q: Do you believe in God?
MR: Yes, but I have my doubts and questions.
GA: Yep.

Q: How's your relationship with Jesus?
MR: Good... if you can call it that. Well, more like a one-sided bratty dysfunctional one. But, I often times think about Him and wonder what He's like in person. I try to be thankful, and thank God for each new day. But I have nights where I'm alone, really angry, frustrated and confused to the point of yelling at Him. Does it take faith to do that?
GA: I'm not sure how to answer that. I mean I do have something like a relationship with Him.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,436
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Question: Are you a Christian?
Mental Response: I want to say 'yes', but my life doesn't reflect Christ as it should.
Given Answer: I'm not sure.

Q: Do you believe in God?
MR: Yes, but I have my doubts and questions.
GA: Yep.

Q: How's your relationship with Jesus?
MR: Good... if you can call it that. Well, more like a one-sided bratty dysfunctional one. But, I often times think about Him and wonder what He's like in person. I try to be thankful, and thank God for each new day. But I have nights where I'm alone, really angry, frustrated and confused to the point of yelling at Him. Does it take faith to do that?
GA: I'm not sure how to answer that. I mean I do have something like a relationship with Him.
So you want your life to reflect Christ more; you believe through the haze and upset of doubt; and you have the courage to be really real with God and not just pretend to be the person you think he wants you to be when you pray. Sounds like you are on a pretty good track. Just keep holding on and walking by faith, even when it seems like the thing you are most sure of is your doubt.
 
L

lav

Guest
yikes. sometimes i just let the cat out of the bag on here.
 

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
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Arizona
Keeping my legs up is sort of annoying. I'm sick and need to keep them up, but they keep falling asleep :/
 
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blueorchidjd

Guest
I keep waking up at 1pm and having weird dreams.
I'll eventually wake up at like 9 am, have enough energy to get up, but the weird dreams intrigue me so I go back to bed.

I dreamt that my dad was having a cookout and for some reason we were living in a really nice ranch house and I got to sleep in the living room where they were having the banquet. And for some reason everyone was really angry because people were drunk and there was no space. But everyone was okay about it at the same time and were okay that there was no space or breathing room. And then this one biker dude comes up to me and was talking to me and out of the blue he was like "Geesh, you sound just like a therapist."

yah.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,698
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Aye, that fits very nicely in the "weird" category.
 
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1still_waters

Guest
I know there is a hard to find definable line between feeling legit pain/anguish/sadness over personal problems/tribulations/loss/whatever, and whining over petty little life grievances. I'm not going to try and set those boundary markers.

But seriously, most of us aren't at the top of a mountain with 100s of ISIS raiders salivating at the mouth to chop our heads off. So maybe with that in perspective, there could be an opening to have some more thanksgiving in one's life, and less griping complaining.

Again not trying to set boundary lines on what are legit or petty issues, just trying to give helpful perspective. I'll leave the boundary setting up to you.

Written to anyone willing to read.
 

AsifinPassing

Senior Member
Jul 13, 2010
3,608
40
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There's a difference between friendly conversations, fiery arguments, formal debates, and just trying to pick a fight...

Unfortunately, I rarely find the first. Usually it's a scholar, philosopher, or reflective person who I can simply bounce ideas back and forth with. They tend to be a bit older (even if just by heart and spirit than age), and have learned some patience, kindness, curiosity, acceptance, etc... I really enjoy those people and conversations when I find them. It's not about winning, losing, persuading or dissuading, or even necessarily an intended goal other than to look at life and ideas for what they are... Pull apart and build together...trying to 'suck the marrow from life' as it were, and also just to have someone to talk to/with.

I miss and look for that often and sometimes desperately.
 
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Jullianna

Guest
There's a difference between friendly conversations, fiery arguments, formal debates, and just trying to pick a fight...

Unfortunately, I rarely find the first. Usually it's a scholar, philosopher, or reflective person who I can simply bounce ideas back and forth with. They tend to be a bit older (even if just by heart and spirit than age), and have learned some patience, kindness, curiosity, acceptance, etc... I really enjoy those people and conversations when I find them. It's not about winning, losing, persuading or dissuading, or even necessarily an intended goal other than to look at life and ideas for what they are... Pull apart and build together...trying to 'suck the marrow from life' as it were, and also just to have someone to talk to/with.

I miss and look for that often and sometimes desperately.
I really like this post. :)

There is so much to be learned from one another when we care more about learning and loving than about scoring points. Most of the time we can easily determine our own purpose by examining how we listen to others. Do we truly listen to learn and understand? Or do we listen with a critical spirit..or do we not listen at all because we are already pondering our next point to be made?

I do agree that maturity (every type of maturity) plays a major role in this regard.