parents

[never-ending]

ok i've never posted anything before. but i'm looking for some advice on about my parents. I homeschool myself, cause my parents work to much to help me. I've tried talking to them but most of the time unless I'm saying what they want to hear is like talking to a brick wall. I'm seeing some one who is very special to me and i want to be able to tell my parents that we've been talking about getting married, but if i so much as mention the word they flip a lid. I'm totaly clueless when it comes to how to talk to them muchless get their atention. any one out there have any advice?

 

[never-ending]

Thanks for reply merryheart. No i haven't finished school yet i'm about a year and a half behind, and i have no plans to go to college. My boyfriend is studying to be a pastor and we have discused our plans for the future and we hope to start a family right away. As for standing strong and faceing my parents with my plans it is good advice I'm just not sure I have the backbone for it.

 

[Derek]

Never ending, Im sorry to say it but if you want to do Gods will then honor your mother and father. Thats His word on the matter. They are not against you, they are looking out for you. You have plenty of time to get married and have a family, there should not be a rush about it. Finishing school is very important and i strongly suggest go to college if it is an option. Not if you want to or not, but if the opportunity is available. You see, I never did take advantage of the opportunities available for me at the end of high school and now I am 27 and struggling to make it in a tough world. All I see is that a person needs a college degree to really get ahead and I dont have those options like I once did. It was a mistake I made, and regret. By honoring your parents in this situation you will be giving God a ton more glory than marrying into ministry. This is a HUGE treasure to be stored up in heaven. Obeying His word is how we "walk in the spirit" and show our true love for God.

 

[IChThUS]

ok i've never posted anything before. but i'm looking for some advice on about my parents. I homeschool myself, cause my parents work to much to help me. I've tried talking to them but most of the time unless I'm saying what they want to hear is like talking to a brick wall. I'm seeing some one who is very special to me and i want to be able to tell my parents that we've been talking about getting married, but if i so much as mention the word they flip a lid. I'm totaly clueless when it comes to how to talk to them muchless get their atention. any one out there have any advice?

Not wishing to make any enemies with my first post in this forum, but I have found that brick walls are usually children. The word chldren to me applies to anyone youger thatn 45.

Is it that you just want a means of escape from the family you now have? Don't rush take things at God's speed. He may have something quite exciting in store for you in 5(?) years.

Bless you, that special person and indeed your parents.


PS: I just seen I am a junior member. Aint been a junior for40 years

 

[carpetmanswife]

Not wishing to make any enemies with my first post in this forum, but I have found that brick walls are usually children. The word chldren to me applies to anyone youger thatn 45.

Is it that you just want a means of escape from the family you now have? Don't rush take things at God's speed. He may have something quite exciting in store for you in 5(?) years.

Bless you, that special person and indeed your parents.


PS: I just seen I am a junior member. Aint been a junior for40 years

ok i think i have just met my new best friend, u just called me a child o but called me a brick wall too o well i shall forget that part God bless ,have a great day

 

[carpetmanswife]

o and for the record i agree with ya IChThUS

 

[never-ending]

Not wishing to make any enemies with my first post in this forum, but I have found that brick walls are usually children. The word chldren to me applies to anyone youger thatn 45.

Is it that you just want a means of escape from the family you now have? Don't rush take things at God's speed. He may have something quite exciting in store for you in 5(?) years.

Bless you, that special person and indeed your parents.


PS: I just seen I am a junior member. Aint been a junior for40 years

The brick wall is them not listening and me not being comfertable talking to them. I dont see my boyfriend as a way to ascape my parents because I'm not trying to escape I'm just trying to find God's will in my life. And right now all i really know is that i love my boyfriend deeply and i belive God put us together for a reason. What that reason is I'm still trying to figure out.

 

[never-ending]

Never ending, Im sorry to say it but if you want to do Gods will then honor your mother and father. Thats His word on the matter. They are not against you, they are looking out for you. You have plenty of time to get married and have a family, there should not be a rush about it. Finishing school is very important and i strongly suggest go to college if it is an option. Not if you want to or not, but if the opportunity is available. You see, I never did take advantage of the opportunities available for me at the end of high school and now I am 27 and struggling to make it in a tough world. All I see is that a person needs a college degree to really get ahead and I dont have those options like I once did. It was a mistake I made, and regret. By honoring your parents in this situation you will be giving God a ton more glory than marrying into ministry. This is a HUGE treasure to be stored up in heaven. Obeying His word is how we "walk in the spirit" and show our true love for God.

Right now college isn't an option I'm struggling just to finish highschool right now and I would never be able to find the money required for college. I understand going to college would make life better for me in the future but I'm just not that book smart.

It wasnt unill recently that I even truely started to grasp the concept of God's love and will for my life despite growing up in the church. Now I'm doing everything I can to further my understanding of God and the plan he has for my life.

 

[J-Kay]

If you think college is not an option then at least think about some type of vocational school or training. It is so important to your future, I can't stress that enough. Now about your parents. My advice to you is to not mention "marriage" right now. Do they know him? If they don't know him well, give them a chance to do that. God's timing and plan is perfect so be patient. I will pray that the relationship between you and your parents improves. Please try to talk to your parents again (without mentioning this guy) about school, your feelings, your future... See what happens.

 

[hersecretrefuge]

I totally understand what your saying.

It's hard to have parents who won't just sit down and talk with you. It sounds like things are a bit disfunctional there. I mean if you can't even sit down and have a talk about what's happening in your life and just be open and honest, then I can see how things get difficult from there.
I homeschooled myself my junior year and then throughout my graduating....LOTS OF PRAYER AND YOU CAN MAKE IT THROUGH!! There is light at the end of the tunnel for you dearie! You don't have to be "book smart" or whatever to go to college. But always remember God is God and you are man (woman in your case ) and He is Sovereign. He has plans not to harm you but give you a hope and future. No matter what road you choose, be in tune with the Holy Spirits voice by prayer and washing your mind with the Word and let Him lead you on.

Make sure everything your pouring your heart into is of the Lord and His leadership in your life.
Your a cool girl, keep going!
I'm here to talk if you ever need to.
Sarah

 

[IChThUS]

The brick wall is them not listening and me not being comfertable talking to them. I dont see my boyfriend as a way to ascape my parents because I'm not trying to escape I'm just trying to find God's will in my life. And right now all i really know is that i love my boyfriend deeply and i belive God put us together for a reason. What that reason is I'm still trying to figure out.

I reach out accross the oceon in love, never ending.

I understand completely what a brick wall is. But it is not always easy to define which is the brick wall and which is the one trying to break it down (talk to it). A brick wall is someone who will not accept "My" point of view.
Not quite sure how old you are but I reckon I was where you are now about 45 years ago. I have been there and in 40 or 50 years you will be where I am now. I am not a parent, God has chosen for me not to be, But I have shared the traumas of young people, like yourself, who had (dare I say) brick walls for parents. In almost every case where we were able to comfront them and speak together the brick wall transformed into a thin curtain and fell off its runners.

Talk with them, dont raise your voice and if they raise theirs just sit quietly and let them exaust themselves, then restate your case. But Listen to them as well.

If you are talking to God, listen to Him. He is not a brick wall, but His answer is sometimes "NO!"

Again, God Bless you
IChThUS

 

[Slepsog4]

The first authority in a person's life is that of his/her parents. You are to obey them when you are directly under their authority and honor them. Once you are no longer under the direct authority, you should still respect them for their advice and honor them.

It is unfortunate that they are not very attentive. Do they even know that you are "seeing" this young man. If he has a heart for ministry, then he might want to approach your father to ask your hand when you have reach full majority and finished your high school lessons.

 

[never-ending]

The first authority in a person's life is that of his/her parents. You are to obey them when you are directly under their authority and honor them. Once you are no longer under the direct authority, you should still respect them for their advice and honor them.

It is unfortunate that they are not very attentive. Do they even know that you are "seeing" this young man. If he has a heart for ministry, then he might want to approach your father to ask your hand when you have reach full majority and finished your high school lessons.

I respect my parents a great deal thats what keeps me at home still. Yes my parents know that I'm "seeing" my boyfriend. As a mater of fact he asked my parents as well as his for aprovel in dating me. Most of our time together is generaly spent with his parents around and mine as well on sundays. My parents like him and they get along with his parents very well. The only thing that prevents us from moving forward in our relationship at this point is that he believes that my dad is not yet ready to see me leave home. And though that is dificult we are both doing our best to respect that. Yet to my parents this relationship is kinda like a joke and nothing more than a teenage crush.

 

[easygoing]

I have to agree with some of the other comments above. Finishing school is your biggest goal at this point and that needs to come first. Look at it as your groundwork and you can build from there.

Only you know this guy and ppl can give advice all day long. Some things to ask yourself and be truthful because lying to yourself is only going to bite you in the rear later. Is this the person you are ready to spend the rest of your life with?
How quickly do you need to have children and why? I love my kids but we waited until me and my wife were almost 30 before starting a family, why? because we wanted to travel and see some things first, get a little more established in our lives and careers, and actually have a way to support a home.

Does this guy have all the same plans as you and have you guys discussed everything openly not just assumed? Not saying you would assume but sometimes we lose sight and just assume our spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend agree with us and have the same plans in mind when they actually may not.

The list of Q&A could go on but just don't get in too big of a hurry and force something that is not intended.
I was with a different girl when i was your age and low and behold it wasn't as good as i thought it was.
Met my wife 4 years later when i wasn't even looking for a woman. Thats how it happens sometimes so just be patient.
god will give you the answers you need if you merely ask him.

 

[never-ending]

I have to agree with some of the other comments above. Finishing school is your biggest goal at this point and that needs to come first. Look at it as your groundwork and you can build from there.

Only you know this guy and ppl can give advice all day long. Some things to ask yourself and be truthful because lying to yourself is only going to bite you in the rear later. Is this the person you are ready to spend the rest of your life with?
How quickly do you need to have children and why? I love my kids but we waited until me and my wife were almost 30 before starting a family, why? because we wanted to travel and see some things first, get a little more established in our lives and careers, and actually have a way to support a home.

Does this guy have all the same plans as you and have you guys discussed everything openly not just assumed? Not saying you would assume but sometimes we lose sight and just assume our spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend agree with us and have the same plans in mind when they actually may not.

The list of Q&A could go on but just don't get in too big of a hurry and force something that is not intended.
I was with a different girl when i was your age and low and behold it wasn't as good as i thought it was.
Met my wife 4 years later when i wasn't even looking for a woman. Thats how it happens sometimes so just be patient.
god will give you the answers you need if you merely ask him.

After reading the your questions I've spent alot of time thinking. Yes, i really believe this is the guy i want to spend the rest of my life with. Nothing between us has been assumed everything has been openly discussed since the begining of the relationship. Starting our relationship was not easy for us because we had been very good friends for nearly three years. We've also talked more and decided not to start a family right away like we originaly planed mostly because we're still young and neither of us will be ready to be a parent for a few more years.

 

[never-ending]

[FONT="Century Gothic"]Hi! I would like to thank everyone for the advice it was greatly apriciated. As it turned I never did talk to my parents. My boyfriend suprised me yesterday by proposing out of the blue. So when my fiance and I did finaly face my parents it was to ask for their Blessing, not their permision.[/FONT]