Yessum, I am a hugger. I love hugs. Every Sunday morning before church, I purposefully seek out all the church mummas and do my round of hugs. If you are middle aged woman and over and just happen to be a beautiful voluptuous shape, then I am sorry, I will pounce you for a hug and will take a ridiculous time to let go. I am also a Kindergarten teacher, in a child care centre, and although hugs are shunned away from in primary school settings, they are highly encouraged in the early childhood setting. So I give out hugs freely five days a week as a job requirement.
Needless to say, I am predominantly a physical touch person. In saying this, I am also a bit weird as in I don't like hugging married men. I don't know, it weirds me out. My assistant pastor also gave me his number one day because we needed to keep in contact about a certain cable we need to connect the sound system to my pick up, but I still ended up not using his number and messaging his wife instead to get her to forward the message. I have never been in a situation where I came between a married couple, but I hate the idea of it ever happening so I steer clear away.
Well, some married men in church greet me with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, but they kind of do it automatically like breathing and they kind of seemed relieved to get it out of the way once we greet, ask about each other's week then walk the other way.
On another note, I have a child in my kindergarten room who had some serious behavioural issues. He went on to Prep, got expelled from two different schools, then came back to my Kindergarten room to 'mature' and wait until he is ready. He has kicked, bitten, punched, shoved and ran away from me countless times. He automatically gets aggressive to any figure with some kind of authority, and often expressed how much he hated everything and how he wanted people to go away and die... at four years of age.
I tried everything, from being firm, to ignoring, to setting clear and concise expectations, to reward systems, but he continued to set up walls out of anger and hurt. You know what? After some time, he now follows instruction after I tell him once, he sits during group time and doesn't try to escape anymore, he is gentle, he never says he hates anymore, he has done (almost) a complete 180' turn (He still gets worked up about lack of fairness between when playing with other children).
How did I help him get there? I showered and smothered him with hugs. Even when he didn't want one and half heartedly squirmed, but he always eventually relented and smiled and giggled and then chased me for more. Every time I was proud of him and I quickly swooped him in my arms and bear hugged him. When I had time, I hugged him. Every time I walked past him, I scruffed his hair, pat his shoulder, pinch his cheek affectionately, or SOMETHING. There were times I held him in my arms, whispering prayers over him while my heart swelled with weariness and some kind of joy and hope at the same time.
I work with his mum, so she's completely okay with me showering him with affection, but I still kick myself over what has happened.
I wanted to give up on that boy so many times. He tired and wore me out, he made me cry, but goodness, seeing him now, I'm so glad I didn't give up on him. It was a very hard road to walk on, but it made me realise the power of love and how starved even the hardest of people are for love, affection and for someone to reach them. And man, did I need God to do it.
So yay, hugs! And tangents, woo!
