Who is your family?

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JesusChica1991

JesusChica1991

Banned
#21
May 9, 2012
1,514
25
0
#21
Interesting answers from everyone so far. As someone previously noted, with the internet becoming more accessible, this causes friendships to evolve and change. It can keep people connected or secrets can be found out and soon cause someone to become your worst enemy. I have found that the definition of family is becoming more based on the standards that we as individuals set for ourselves. Such a standard might be: A blood relative might have severely wronged me, they do not recognize their wrong; therefore, I no longer bless them with the ties of being "family". Another standard may be: I have known this friend since diapers. We do anything together or for each other. It is because of their constant presence in my life that I consider family. For people that I meet online: they do not automatically become my family. The number one aspect that has to be earned for me is the characteristic of "trust". Can we trust people we meet online? Absolutely. They are real people like ourselves. But we also sift through these individuals based on internet persona and then once we meet them in real life, give the final judgment as to which role they play.
 
T

tenderhearted

Guest
#22
#22
Brain freeze you can still love people like family and not label them as family. I believe in being God's hands and feet to everyone, even an enemy. I can love everyone, I'm just not comfortable using the word family with everyone. I don't think what you call someone is as important as how you treat them.
 
RedTent

RedTent

Banned
#23
Oct 31, 2011
8,200
182
0
#23
JesusChica1991 said:
Interesting answers from everyone so far. As someone previously noted, with the internet becoming more accessible, this causes friendships to evolve and change. It can keep people connected or secrets can be found out and soon cause someone to become your worst enemy. I have found that the definition of family is becoming more based on the standards that we as individuals set for ourselves. Such a standard might be: A blood relative might have severely wronged me, they do not recognize their wrong; therefore, I no longer bless them with the ties of being "family". Another standard may be: I have known this friend since diapers. We do anything together or for each other. It is because of their constant presence in my life that I consider family. For people that I meet online: they do not automatically become my family. The number one aspect that has to be earned for me is the characteristic of "trust". Can we trust people we meet online? Absolutely. They are real people like ourselves. But we also sift through these individuals based on internet persona and then once we meet them in real life, give the final judgment as to which role they play.
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I have done a lot of thinking about this because my blood family did not really accept me because I was given to someone else to raise until I was six because of illness in my original family. Frankly, a six year old has formed some basic characteristics by that time, and the culture of my two families were opposite to each other. I never bonded to my blood family. Now, I am very elderly, almost blind, have a broken pelvis, and on and (give me a wailing violin) on. The family I raised doesn't want to be bothered so getting groceries, even, is a terrible problem. I have outlived every one of my buddies.

I don't think that it is biblically correct for my blood family not to consider me their family. I think the Lord does consider that we should acknowledge blood. It would complicate it terribly if there was problems so severe that basic life styles were involved, like drugs or alcohol. Timothy chapter 5 has a lot to say about it.

If my blood family had given me a hug when I was taken to live with them, instead of a grim "you will have to change" that they never stopped in my lifetime, if it had been real following the Lord instead of grim legalism, what was painful for all could have been wonderful. Now, I have lots of love and laughter in me for giving to my grim family, I think by dumping me they are loosing out.

I still have a mental picture of my son the day he said my saying I worried about seeing my Granddaughter was unacceptable to him and he would never come to my home again. Less than two years later cancer took him to the Lord. I worry that the Lord means it when he says honor your parents to live long---yet you know this doesn't apply to many. However, this son tried with everything he knew to live by the Lord, he just didn't understand that part.

These are some of my reasons for thinking that God does mean for us to respect that there are blood ties. There is great symbolic meaning in all blood and all marriage ties.
 
O

oldthennew

Guest
#24
#24
RedTent said,

Now, I have lots of love and laughter in me for giving to my grim family, I think by dumping me they are loosing out.

there is no question about this dear one, but it is very obvious
our Father has made sure that you would never lose out in what counts
the most, by knowing that you are His child first and always - along with all that
love and laughter you have for Him and the others He shares you with.
GBY
 
O

OnThisRock

Senior Member
#25
Jan 20, 2011
353
9
18
#25
My children are my students and I consider them to also be my family. I care about them, feel for them, and think about their well being and want to help them. Only God can give you those feelings. He gives me the heart for them as family. Family for me is only made In The Lord. God has completely released me from any biological family ties, most American ties, so that He could take me to another part of the world. He has also protected me from the "biological family" and their evil ways because they are of their father the devil. I would have been disobedient to maintain ties with them. I believe we are brought to our true family by the Lord, whether that be biological or through friendship, or those we serve. I have seen the Lord make me feel married to those I serve. I see it as a good sense of duty that would break my heart if I was apart from them. Matthew 12:48-50
 
O

OnThisRock

Senior Member
#26
Jan 20, 2011
353
9
18
#26
RedTent said:
I have done a lot of thinking about this because my blood family did not really accept me because I was given to someone else to raise until I was six because of illness in my original family. Frankly, a six year old has formed some basic characteristics by that time, and the culture of my two families were opposite to each other. I never bonded to my blood family. Now, I am very elderly, almost blind, have a broken pelvis, and on and (give me a wailing violin) on. The family I raised doesn't want to be bothered so getting groceries, even, is a terrible problem. I have outlived every one of my buddies.

I don't think that it is biblically correct for my blood family not to consider me their family. I think the Lord does consider that we should acknowledge blood. It would complicate it terribly if there was problems so severe that basic life styles were involved, like drugs or alcohol. Timothy chapter 5 has a lot to say about it.

If my blood family had given me a hug when I was taken to live with them, instead of a grim "you will have to change" that they never stopped in my lifetime, if it had been real following the Lord instead of grim legalism, what was painful for all could have been wonderful. Now, I have lots of love and laughter in me for giving to my grim family, I think by dumping me they are loosing out.

I still have a mental picture of my son the day he said my saying I worried about seeing my Granddaughter was unacceptable to him and he would never come to my home again. Less than two years later cancer took him to the Lord. I worry that the Lord means it when he says honor your parents to live long---yet you know this doesn't apply to many. However, this son tried with everything he knew to live by the Lord, he just didn't understand that part.

These are some of my reasons for thinking that God does mean for us to respect that there are blood ties. There is great symbolic meaning in all blood and all marriage ties.
Click to expand...
There is also scripture that states parents should not exasperate their children. My biological mother and sister abused me everytime i came into their lives and wanted a relationship with them. Finally they did it one last time four years ago, when I tried to reconcile with them. They kicked me out of their apartment on the holiday. God said, GO and dust off your feet. God called me away again to do His work and now moved me to another nation. I know that God will take care of her, and I have forgiven them, but they hate me so bad that I know God does not want to me lose my soul and go back again because they hate me. Again, i wanted a relationship with them, but they are unable to act civilized and not listen to the devil. I believe after awhile, God will close our hearts to them, to protect us and give us confirmation if their hearts will not change.
 
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RedTent

RedTent

Banned
#27
Oct 31, 2011
8,200
182
0
#27
OnThisRock said:
There is also scripture that states parents should not exasperate their children. My biological mother and sister abused me everytime i came into their lives and wanted a relationship with them. Finally they did it one last time four years ago, when I tried to reconcile with them. They kicked me out of their apartment on the holiday. God said, GO and dust off your feet. God called me away again to do His work and now moved me to another nation. I know that God will take care of her, and I have forgiven them, but they hate me so bad that I know God does not want to me lose my soul and go back again because they hate me. Again, i wanted a relationship with them, but they are unable to act civilized and not listen to the devil. I believe after awhile, God will close our hearts to them, to protect us and give us confirmation if their hearts will not change.
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This is where the real problem is. To multiply it, the way the Lord set up our growth, when we are very young we look to parents to see if we are OK, we haven't learned to look to the Lord for that, yet. When parents don't nurture us, that not OK message gets so part of us it carries over into adulthood. I was almost 60 before I told my folks they had no right to try to rule me and give me this message, I was created by the Lord to be me, and when I finally did that they had both passed away so I hollered it to the air.

The problem is what to do about the fact that people are problems.

I found that when I put myself and my identity under the Lord instead of allowing my parents to define it for me, I could forgive my parents and go to blessing my heavenly Father for using these people to create me. If we lived in a world that followed the path God sets before us, using the ways God gives us, we wouldn't have these problems to face. The fact is that in our world few really listen and we all have to take the consequences. I have become convinced that when God gave us blood connections, we are to do our part best we can to honor that. I spent a lot of time in my life doing what God told me not to do about it. God didn't want me to agree with them that I was what they told me I was, God wanted me as His child first. Honoring blood ties doesn't mean we have to live by the rules of ungodly people.
 
JesusChica1991

JesusChica1991

Banned
#28
May 9, 2012
1,514
25
0
#28
I appreciate all the answers so far you all have provided. Excellent insights into who you all consider family. This confirms what studies are saying about how familial contexts are changing for each individual. Instead of blood defining who our family is, we also consider common shared experiences.
 
Blain

Blain

The Word Weaver
#29
Aug 28, 2012
19,797
2,877
113
#29
JesusChica1991 said:
I appreciate all the answers so far you all have provided. Excellent insights into who you all consider family. This confirms what studies are saying about how familial contexts are changing for each individual. Instead of blood defining who our family is, we also consider common shared experiences.
Click to expand...
Blood does not make a family but love does
 
RedTent

RedTent

Banned
#30
Oct 31, 2011
8,200
182
0
#30
Blain said:
Blood does not make a family but love does
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That is denying all scripture speaks of as the symbol of blood we are to recognize.

My blood family had absolutely no love in it, God gave me a family of love from other sources, but there was still a tie between me and my blood family. As an example, without honoring them and keeping communication with them---even looking to them for validation of me and support that wasn't there from them---I could never have learned that God was my dependable, always there support and validation. God used the family He gave me for my benefit, even though they had no love in them.
 
G

GodIsSalvation

Banned
#31
Dec 18, 2013
6,733
45
0
#31
I think blood makes family. If one thinks about it, all Christians are literally family via Jesus' blood.
 
Joidevivre

Joidevivre

Senior Member
#32
Jul 15, 2014
3,838
272
83
#32
Even though my family had many dysfunctions - my mother and father gave me my fingerprint. Like none other.
 
Blain

Blain

The Word Weaver
#33
Aug 28, 2012
19,797
2,877
113
#33
RedTent said:
That is denying all scripture speaks of as the symbol of blood we are to recognize.

My blood family had absolutely no love in it, God gave me a family of love from other sources, but there was still a tie between me and my blood family. As an example, without honoring them and keeping communication with them---even looking to them for validation of me and support that wasn't there from them---I could never have learned that God was my dependable, always there support and validation. God used the family He gave me for my benefit, even though they had no love in them.
Click to expand...
Red tent no offence but im sure you knew what I meant
 
O

OnThisRock

Senior Member
#34
Jan 20, 2011
353
9
18
#34
Jesus said,"Whois your mother, your brother? It is those who do the will of your Father".
 
O

OnThisRock

Senior Member
#35
Jan 20, 2011
353
9
18
#35
RedTent said:
This is where the real problem is. To multiply it, the way the Lord set up our growth, when we are very young we look to parents to see if we are OK, we haven't learned to look to the Lord for that, yet. When parents don't nurture us, that not OK message gets so part of us it carries over into adulthood. I was almost 60 before I told my folks they had no right to try to rule me and give me this message, I was created by the Lord to be me, and when I finally did that they had both passed away so I hollered it to the air.

The problem is what to do about the fact that people are problems.

I found that when I put myself and my identity under the Lord instead of allowing my parents to define it for me, I could forgive my parents and go to blessing my heavenly Father for using these people to create me. If we lived in a world that followed the path God sets before us, using the ways God gives us, we wouldn't have these problems to face. The fact is that in our world few really listen and we all have to take the consequences. I have become convinced that when God gave us blood connections, we are to do our part best we can to honor that. I spent a lot of time in my life doing what God told me not to do about it. God didn't want me to agree with them that I was what they told me I was, God wanted me as His child first. Honoring blood ties doesn't mean we have to live by the rules of ungodly people.
Click to expand...
Yes. Honoring blood ties to me, is that I kept my grandparent's love and vision in Christ (which is their name). I had always been like my grandfather and wanted to travel the world and help other cultures, and I believe that is why my parents and sister could not stand me. I also believe that if I would have stayed back I would have died. Also, sometimes I realize that the blood familly sensed my freedom in the Lord and really hated it. I don't think they would admit it because they did not know it. Moving forward!!! Thanks for your post!
 
O

oldthennew

Guest
#36
#36
1JOHN 3:13.
Marvel not, my brethren, if the world hate you.

1JOHN 2:9-10.
He that says he is in the Light and hates his brother, is in darkness even until now.
He that loves his brother abides in the Light, and there is none occasion of stumbling in him.
 
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