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singergirl112
Guest
Its a discussion me and my single Christian friends have often. I dont think a woman should pursue a man. Any thoughts?
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Personally, no I would not like to be "pursued" - it comes across like the other partner is trying to control the relationship. Most likely that would come across very much the wrong way. Tomboys and other manipulative types haved tried that and I don't appreciate it much...
However, I wouldn't mind if a girl hinted at being interested in a relationship since sometimes it is very hard to comprehend and neither party actually ever brings it up. Which in-turn is very awkward for us introverts in the friend-zone.
That being said, try to be a Proverbs girl, keep God first and foremost! Never compromise your values for your partner; all good things come to those who wait.
Other conservative tips from Leslie Ludy: Set Apart Girl | Online Magazine for Christian Young Women
However, I wouldn't mind if a girl hinted at being interested in a relationship since sometimes it is very hard to comprehend and neither party actually ever brings it up. Which in-turn is very awkward for us introverts in the friend-zone.
That being said, try to be a Proverbs girl, keep God first and foremost! Never compromise your values for your partner; all good things come to those who wait.
Other conservative tips from Leslie Ludy: Set Apart Girl | Online Magazine for Christian Young Women
I don't see tomboys as manipulative. I think many tomboys are such because they reject all that girly manipulative stuff that many seem to try to emulate.
I agree with the other stuff you are saying, though. Maybe you and I just have different ideas of what a tomboy is or know different tomboys.
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Nicee
Guest
A friend of mine (woman) went through about 6 months of wondering what this one man from the home church thought about her. She really liked him and kept asking me if he mentioned her. The two of them would occasionally meet up for lunch to chat and she was beginning to think that MAYBE he had interest in her as well. After six months of torment not knowing, I finally told her to just to tell him how she felt. "Just be honest" was my advice "and see how he reacts". So she did. He explained to her that he was not interested in anything more than her friendship. She was finally at peace knowing and was able to just continue her friendship with him without any confusion.
Whether it be a man or a woman that first brings up the topic first, I can't see how it makes any difference as long as people are being honest with others and with them self.
Now if your meaning of pursue involves not taking no for an answer... neither man nor woman should do so.
Whether it be a man or a woman that first brings up the topic first, I can't see how it makes any difference as long as people are being honest with others and with them self.
Now if your meaning of pursue involves not taking no for an answer... neither man nor woman should do so.
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Ugly
Guest
This topic again?
Nothing wrong if a woman wants to pursue. It has nothing to do with control. It doesn't mean she will be the one in charge. I know this firsthand.
Nothing wrong if a woman wants to pursue. It has nothing to do with control. It doesn't mean she will be the one in charge. I know this firsthand.
These threads seem to pop up with some frequency. Hey, my thing is... live like you mean it. Are you just going to uphold a certain set of expectations and social norms, or are there things you'll fight for? It really doesn't matter to me whether I'm the persuer or pursuee... Just let someone you like or love know that you like or love them. The ball's in their court after that.
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Inu
Guest
Speaking about stalk...... I was friends with this one dude that went through all my facebook pictures at one point and liked/commented on each one.... That freaked me out! #blocked...
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Inu
Guest
I'm abit of a tomboy... but I've never pursued a guy/ made the first move...
It all boils down to preference. Some woman pursue and others sit back and wait... Some men like woman who pursue and other men like the chase.
I personally think that if a woman chooses to pursue, she should drop hints about her feelings but be cautious in her approach with this because she shouldn't come across as desperate and needy. She should keep a certain level of mystery without giving him the perception of being "friend zoned".
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Inu
Guest
CREEPY.One of my friends found that her inlaws had gone through all her Facebook pictures before accepting her as the bride for their son.
Oh wow.... *note to self.... never accept friend requests from inlaws
*
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joeanbu
Guest
nothing wrong in that.. but the fun lies in the man pursuing the woman .. and the woman allows the man to pursue her .. with little hints that she likes it... she can initiate the man to pursue her as well by casual friendly flirtiness but not over doing it
TBH, wouldn't mind a woman being more straight up about her feelings, or being the initiator in that way. It's weird - I'm not sure why women who do that are considered 'needy', but men who do that (which culturally is supposed to be all men) is just considered normal. Is it because it is assumed men will just be with lots of women, whereas women won't? If not, where does that idea come from?
Frankly, I think most men wish most women would just talk straight.
Frankly, I think most men wish most women would just talk straight.
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Inu
Guest
You think it's not "needy" and that's a good thing because you don't judge just by first impressions but other men may feel differently... I personally have not approached a guy first but that's just cause I am kinda shy when it comes to matters of the heart..
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Inu
Guest
Oh, I know some men think that. I was just wondering why.
And often men are shy tooThe expectation, though, is that men should just get over it. Which, you know, maybe we should, but that doesn't mean some men aren't shy.
Might be just a preference of theirs. Maybe they enjoy the chase, rather than being chased
Yeah, I have met a few guys that were shy and didn't approach girls but later on found out that they had low self-esteem.
Might be just a preference of theirs. Maybe they enjoy the chase, rather than being chased
Yeah, I have met a few guys that were shy and didn't approach girls but later on found out that they had low self-esteem.
Yeah, can be low self esteem. Can also be other things as well - being shy and not often approaching girls, or perhaps not approaching girls for principled reasons, is not entirely the same thing as not approaching girls because you don't think you're good enough as a person (although even then, I think MOST people have had even a little bit of self-doubt on the relationship front from time to time)
My observation is that pursuing and initiating are often confused by people.
If a woman is interested and wants to initiate contact to get the ball rolling, that's fine by me. If I'm mutually interested I will begin the pursuing.
Women need to realize that men get discouraged from rejection, so after a while they lose hope and won't pursue. A woman initiating contact can offset that discouragement and give him some hope.
Besides that, we dudes can be incredibly dense. A woman can be interested and we can be totally clueless. Unless she initiates contact and makes it clear she's interested, he may be totally unaware that she wants to be pursued by him.