I disagree

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J

Jullianna

Guest
#1
#1
How do you handle disagreements/arguments?

Do you avoid confrontation altogether?

Do you give in to "keep the peace"? If so, how does bottling it up work for you?

Do you pray first? Walk away and take time to reflect before approaching the topic, which may have simply been a misunderstanding?

Are you an "in your face" kinda person"?

Are you rational? A point-by-point kinda person?

Do you attack the other person personally and say things you can never take back?

Do you walk away and never speak to the person again?

Are you mean and vindictive?

What about relationships? Do you handle them differently than disagreements with others?

How do you like people to deal with YOU during a disagreement? Do you reciprocate?


[video=youtube;p8_FOQ7-P30]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8_FOQ7-P30[/video]
 
S

sassylady

Guest
#2
#2
There are so many situations you can't have a set rule for all of them. Some things are not worth arguing about and not important enough to destroy a relationship to have your way. Other things require a stand and you have to take it. If it requires a very important decision, I don't make one immediately, it should be a matter of prayer if there is time. If things get heated it's time to back off until everybody has calmed down. No matter what the situation, you have to guard your mouth. Something simple to resolve can end up being a long time of hurt or distrust once the wrong words are out. There have been times when I had to give up something and later after prayer realized the benefit of doing so. You have to give the anger and resentment to God; if you don't you may never see the situation clearly. It doesn't happen overnight of course, it's not that easy. If somebody makes a mistake and you are trying to be the peace maker, God can handle mistakes too.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#3
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
113
#3
I try to avoid confronts whenever possible (and its usually possible). If its something important like if someone's physical safety is at hand then I will be like a rotweiler and go for the jugular (with facts and impartiality of course :)).
 
JesusChica1991

JesusChica1991

Banned
#4
May 9, 2012
1,514
25
0
#4
For me, it just depends on what the topic is but I admit I have a bad habit of keeping score from things that have happened in the past.
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#5
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#5
I avoid confrontation. I'm laid back, maybe to laid back. I have no problem admitting when I'm wrong, I also have no.problem agreeing to disagree.
 
Grace-Like-Rain

Grace-Like-Rain

Senior Member
#6
Sep 6, 2013
4,430
117
63
#6
How do you handle disagreements/arguments?

I'm not laid back (I wish) but I don't like confrontations either, so I will usually ignore it as long as possible and then try to find a diplomatic way to address it.

Do you avoid confrontation altogether?

Whenever possible!

Do you give in to "keep the peace"? If so, how does bottling it up work for you?

Usually I do keep the peace. I may vent later to a close friend or family member.

Do you pray first? Walk away and take time to reflect before approaching the topic, which may have simply been a misunderstanding?

Depends on what it is. If it's a big thing, I pray, and spend a lot of time thinking about how I want to address it. I'll write it out, make a list, rewrite it, etc.

Are you an "in your face" kinda person"?

Hahahahaaa.... (no)

Are you rational? A point-by-point kinda person?

I like to think I'm rational, yes, but also a "feeler". I do usually try to look at it from the other person's side. Even if I don't believe they are right, I can hope to understand why they feel the way they do.

Do you attack the other person personally and say things you can never take back?

Only a few times in my (irl) life have I done this, with someone very close to me.

Do you walk away and never speak to the person again?

Noooo... I need resolution and closure! I NEED IT! :p

Are you mean and vindictive?

I'm forgiving. Too forgiving. I almost started a thread on this once. I tend to get into the same problems over and over because I can't burn a bridge that probably needs to be burned.

What about relationships? Do you handle them differently than disagreements with others?

Don't have experience with this other than my ex-husband, but yes, living with someone in close contact changes things.

How do you like people to deal with YOU during a disagreement? Do you reciprocate?

I'd want the problem addressed if it was serious enough to warrant it, with the intent to work through it and move past it. Calmly, without accusations, and with love and understanding. I do try to reciprocate.

Someone else could give a more accurate picture of me than I could, I'm sure. I only see myself from the inside, and don't always see how it looks from the outside, so it could be quite different. :rolleyes:
 
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Bride

Bride

Banned
#7
Oct 24, 2014
595
14
0
#7
(2Ti 2:23)
 But foolish and unlearned questions avoid, knowing that they do gender strifes.
(2Ti 2:24)
 And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient,
(2Ti 2:25)
 In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth;
 
V

VioletReigns

Guest
#8
#8
Bride said:
(2Ti 2:23)
 But foolish and unlearned questions avoid, knowing that they do gender strifes.
(2Ti 2:24)
 And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient,
(2Ti 2:25)
 In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth;
Click to expand...
Amen, Bride! As Jesus said, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Even our enemies. ESPECIALLY OUR ENEMIES! Remember how Jesus said even the Pharisees can be nice to people who are nice to them. But we're commanded to treat even our enemies the way Jesus treats us and forgives us. And of course it's written in I Corinthians 13 that we're not to hold grudges against people or harbor resentment or unforgiveness toward them, not gossip and complain about them and put our rights above theirs.

Sounds hard, right? IT'S IMPOSSIBLE... until Jesus comes into your heart and shows you the way of truth. When we start to live that way, we are the ones who get set free of bitterness, hardness of heart, fear, anger, and self-pity and doubting. To do the Lord's will is light and life. :)
 
wisebeardman

wisebeardman

Banned
#9
Mar 22, 2013
4,718
124
63
Indiana
#9
im the bear.

it really depends how you approach me with it. if you are nice I will be nice, if you are aggressive, I will return that. if you attack, ill first strike nuclear launch. I won't back down I also will not be intimidated by anyone.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#10
Aug 13, 2014
24,921
8,170
113
#10
I disagree with everyone who has posted in this thread so far. I disagree with you on everything. I disagree for... well... no reason. And every reason. I don't need a reason, I just disagree with you. Yeah... :p

"People who disagree all the time are disagreeable people" ~Lynx
 
M

MissCris

Guest
#11
#11
Lynx said:
I disagree with everyone who has posted in this thread so far. I disagree with you on everything. I disagree for... well... no reason. And every reason. I don't need a reason, I just disagree with you. Yeah... :p

"People who disagree all the time are disagreeable people" ~Lynx
Click to expand...
I've just found my new signature.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#12
#12
I should probably answer my own questions, huh? :)

How do you handle disagreements/arguments? I hate them. I absolutely hate them. I have a long fuse, but c'mon...I AM a redhead. I know I can be pretty feisty when I've finally had enough, so I try to shut that stuff down as quickly as possible.

Do you avoid confrontation altogether? I try very hard. Sometimes I like to mull things over to determine whether I really should be upset about it. Did I just misunderstand???

The problem with that is, after a little time has passed, the other person is surprised that it bothered you and you didn't say anything. Some people don't understand that you can be temporarily angry with them and it doesn't have to interfere with how you feel about them overall.

Do you give in to "keep the peace"? Depends upon the issue. If so, how does bottling it up work for you? I know it's extremely unhealthy, but I do it anyway. Maybe that just makes it worse when it all comes pouring out.

Do you pray first? It's part of my "mulling it over" process. Walk away and take time to reflect before approaching the topic, which may have simply been a misunderstanding? Again, "mulling".

Are you an "in your face" kinda person"? Not unless it's a dangerous situation. Life/death/limb. Then, I don't like to be, but I sure can be. (INFJ "protector" mode)

Are you rational? Probably not when I'm very angry, which is pretty rare. Anger has a way of making us all irrational and stupid. A point-by-point kinda person? Normally.

Do you attack the other person personally and say things you can never take back? Rarely, but we probably all do it from time to time. When I am VERY angry I usually clam up and don't want to speak at all for this very reason.

Do you walk away and never speak to the person again? I hate that. I reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally hate that. ack.... Like Grace, I need closure. I desire to be at peace with everyone as much as possible (not only because scripture tells us to do so...it's a need I have). But, we don't always get what we want. If the other person wants to walk, there's not much we can do about that's legal. :D

Are you mean and vindictive? I can say mean things if I allow my anger to overwhelm me and can't find the wisdom to shut up. That's one of the reasons I try to avoid conflict. Vindictive? Nah.... Grudges aren't my thing. That gives other people power over you. It damages the holder and no one else. Leads to bitterness. *shudder*

What about relationships? Do you handle them differently than disagreements with others? Yes. I think you have to.

How do you like people to deal with YOU during a disagreement? I appreciate an opportunity to speak. Do you reciprocate? I'd like to think I'm a pretty good listener. I may not like it, but I'll still listen to the other person.
 
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H

Ho11y

Guest
#13
#13
How do you handle disagreements/arguments? I'm pretty chill about most stuff. And i can let a lot of things go. I really kind of go by, don't sweat the small stuff. Why get into an argument if you don't have to. I will say though, i can get an attitude very quickly. I don't like being messed with and i don't mess around.


Do you avoid confrontation altogether? Sometimes yes, sometimes no, it depends on what it is. If someone does something one time, i'll tend to let it go. If it happens again then i'll say something.

Do you give in to "keep the peace"? If so, how does bottling it up work for you? I have before, because if someone is getting all upset over something i deem as silly then i'll just let it go. No sense in getting worked up over something that's not life shattering. I don't think of it as bottling it up. I just don't care enough to get into it over something stupid. Some people aren't even worth arguing with honestly. Especially the one's who don't know when to stop talking or when enough is enough.

Do you pray first? Walk away and take time to reflect before approaching the topic, which may have simply been a misunderstanding? If i'm really angry, i need to walk away. I need time to process what's being said and what's happening. And i do need time to think if i'm misunderstanding something someone has said.

Are you an "in your face" kinda person"? Yes. I can be. When i feel i'm being treated a certain way or my sense of freedom (what i can and can't do) is being threatened, i'm very verbally aggressive and ''in your face''

Are you rational? A point-by-point kinda person? I try and stick to the facts. This is what happened and this made me upset, sad, mad, etc.. etc.... when you did this. I don't like bringing 10 different things into an argument i just want to know specifically what i did or what someone else did... you get my point.

Do you attack the other person personally and say things you can never take back? I have before yes, Like i said, when i feel like someone is cornering me, pressuring me, telling me what to do. Any of those...I attack.

Do you walk away and never speak to the person again? I've done that before, yes. Sometimes two people just can't come to an agreement. And personally i don't care if i'm not at peace with a person. That doesn't bother me. As long as i'm not walking in unforgivness towards him or her.

Are you mean and vindictive? I can be mean, yes. Vindictive. No, ain't nobody got time for that.

What about relationships? Do you handle them differently than disagreements with others? sometimes

How do you like people to deal with YOU during a disagreement? Do you reciprocate? I like people to be and stay calm and stick to the subject at hand.
 
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