why do God let us fall in love with the wrong person?

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bobie

Guest
#1
If God gave us free will, then how come sometimes we ended up falling for a person that we could never be with?
 
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songster

Guest
#2
Falling in love is a concept which is not explained in the scriptures, When Jacob fell in love with Rachel, (Gen 29:18), he clearly desired her, and the bible indicates that she was beautiful. This is the closest the bible comes to , 'love at first sight'.

In actuality, I firmly believe that we 'choose' to love. Falling in love is not something that God causes people to do. We meet, we desire, we date and we marry. Further evidence, such as David's son Amnon falling in love with his sister Tamar, (II Samuel 13), shows that there are boundaries which we must set, with regard to who we choose to love romantically.

I do not believe that there is one woman for every man and vice versa. I do believe, however, that we can express our desire to God, for a mate, and believe that He will provide an encounter, but even then, we make the decision to move forward with the relationship and to eventually marry.

Love is often confused with sexual desire, as in the case of David's son Amnon. We know this because once Amnon lay with her by force, he wanted nothing further from her. Hormones, pheromones, physical attraction, and other factors, play a big part at the beginning of a relationship.

We 'choose' based on past experiences. We see character traits, physical traits and commonalities, which we have simply learned to find attractive.

Using examples of forbidden love, such as incestuous love, loving those under the legal age of consent, and same sex relationships, indicates that there are times when some must place important boundaries on who they choose to love romantically.

The past experiences which shape our individual tastes, can be good or bad. A woman may fall in and out of abusive and destructive relationships many times, each time claiming that she fell in love, simply because her experiences have caused her to be attracted to a particular type of person, albeit, an abusive person .

This is why it is first important to express our desire for a mate, to God, and then ask for confirmations from the Lord before making a life long commitment. It isn't necessary to have everything in common, but having Christ in common makes it that much easier for God to be glorified as two people enter into a covenant with an understanding of the biblical explanation of the husband and wife's roles within the marriage.

Saying that everyone has the right to fall in love with anyone they choose, would not be an accurate statement. Simply because we are physically capable of expressing love through gestures, displays of affection, and sexual indulgences, we must ask ourselves if we should. Sometimes your own baggage can become a filter, through which, you view the world around you, and create relationships, having nothing to do with God. Deal with the baggage first and then choose, with God's guidance.
 
Last edited:
Dec 3, 2009
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#3
I believe you answered your own question. Free will. God had nothing to do with it.
 
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socperkins

Guest
#4
Sometimes a broken relationship will shape a person for the perfect relationship later.
 
Oct 8, 2009
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#5
If God gave us free will, then how come sometimes we ended up falling for a person that we could never be with?
Maybe God never lead you to that person. Maybe out of the decietfulness of your heart you went for that person anyway.
 
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bobie

Guest
#6
Maybe God never lead you to that person. Maybe out of the decietfulness of your heart you went for that person anyway.

i guess you're right! she even said that what im feeling is not love but gratitude towards her because of the situation that we're in!
 
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tryingtofindhim

Guest
#7
If God gave us free will, then how come sometimes we ended up falling for a person that we could never be with?
I think it is because of our free will. I believe God is trying to pull us away, but we are so attached to this person we don't realize. Just so you know your question doesn't make much sense but I tried to answer it the way I thought you were trying to answer it.
 
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His_daughter

Guest
#8
God wants us to love everyone around us all the time, love and romance are two different things though. The connection you have with a spouse will be from God and I firmly believe that only then will we really know what this kind of love is. I think a lot of what we define as romantic love is really infatuation. Keep loving people and be patient for the one God has for you.
 
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lighter

Guest
#9
Hi bobbie,am lighter,there was this time that i fell in love with the wrong person only to realise when its too late,but actually i dont regret bcos God gave me a secret:all things happen for good for them that trust in the Lord,in every aspect of your life involve God for He knows you and all the desires of your heart,bobbie,you dont drown by falling in the water but by only staying there,so rise up!and clothe yourself with courage there is someone special God has prepared just for you.

God bless you
 
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asamanthinketh

Guest
#10
this is a really good explanation. clears my thinking. i think the command from Jesus to love one another is different than the emotional, romantic feeling of falling in love. it can go hand in hand, and it can be easier to love when the lovin feelin is there.
 
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sportygirl

Guest
#11
I do believe God has a plan for us in regards to love, but sometimes we want to love who we want to love whether this is good or not...I also beleive sometimes one relationship is meant to prepare you for another one, or if you choose to date someone God didnt mean for you to be with forever he uses that to help prepare you. Even if it hurts.
 
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bobie

Guest
#12
thanks for all the advise guys :) although im still struggling with this kinda problem, hearing response from different ppl makes me feel better about the situation that im in!
 
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callthe5o

Guest
#13
and its impossible for us to "fall" in love. we grow in love. reall love takes time.
 
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Christina85

Guest
#14
I really believe that if God gave us free will for everything else, why wouldn't He give us also free will to choose who we want to be with... but on the other hand, I also think that He gave us precepts by which we should choose, and that's up to us whether to consider that or not in order to have a blessed relationship. Just to clear that up, by precepts I mean, a person whose heart is in the Lord, who truly has a christian character and so on...
 
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PRAIASEmyGOD

Guest
#15
and its impossible for us to "fall" in love. we grow in love. reall love takes time.
Exactly!


1 Corinthians 13:4-8


4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
 
Jan 14, 2010
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#16
If God gave us free will, then how come sometimes we ended up falling for a person that we could never be with?
to learn about the true meaning of love... of what love is capable of doing in one's life... it is one of the ways to best understand the very essence of 1 Corinthians 13.
and to let us reminder that in everything, it is God's timing, not our timing.

His timing is perfect, and will always be perfect... we lose sight of it because we become jealous, or lost within the desires of the world.
 
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Andrea15

Guest
#17
We are able to fall in love because otherwise we wouldn't be able to commit fully to our husband or wife in the future sometimes God meant for a certain person to come into our lives to teach us something or so we can have a positive effect on their lives. It doesn't necessarily mean it was the wrong person but just apart of God's plan for our lives.
 
Nov 12, 2009
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#18
God doesn't allow us to fall in love with the wrong person....he allows us the power of CHOICE. And we all make bad choices.
 
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Batya

Guest
#19
If God gave us free will, then how come sometimes we ended up falling for a person that we could never be with?
Free will allow us to choose. We allow ourselves to fall for people hoping they can fulfill what we need. First, we must be in total alliance with God our source which complete us and that will draw the kind of person that only add to that. We often say why - if God is who he said he why does he allow all that is happening, that in our eyes just does not seem right. Like each and every one of us we each want our own way and since God made us like himself, what we see around us is a result of many, many of our choices through many, many generations...live in joy Betty
 
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goth4god

Guest
#20
someone may have already said something like this before so sorry if i repeat.
But God is like our parent, our father. us as kids tend to want what we want and we will pitch a fit and constantly ask for the same thing over and over again. It might be bad for us but we keep asking. God finally lets us have what we want so that we can learn, and see what happens when we dont listen to Him.
reminds me when I was little I wanted to eat all of my easter candy, my mom would not let me but after I kept asking she let me have it all, even though she knew it was bad for me. needless to say I ate it all, puked, and learned my lesson.