What would God want for my marriage?

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Angela53510

Angela53510

Senior Member
#21
Jan 24, 2011
11,786
2,961
113
#21
Post #4 is a classic example of an abused victim.

Find some way to support yourself, and leave this man. Stop feeling pity for him, because of his so-called "bad childhood". He has made these decisions to act this way and you need to care for yourself and your children.

Your husband obviously did not want to marry you the first 3 years you were together. He is a sex addict and he does not want to change. Verbal abuse can easily change to physical if he does not get his way. Protect your children and get out of that house!

No pity for pornographers and liars! Sorry.
 
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lavender111

Guest
#22
#22
I absolutely disagree that him talking to women in a sexual manner and getting nude pictures of them is not cheating. This is not an instance of him visiting porn sites. These are one on one conversations that he is having with women, many of them he also speaks to on the phone and talks to about our relationship. There has not been one time in 11 years that I have not found that he has been talking to yet another one or five women since the last time I checked. How that is not cheating, I have no idea. And the fact that there are people out there who think that it' s not is why he feels there is nothing wrong with it. Yes, i did cheat. Once for a month. I repented and have been nothing but faithful before and after that. I have caught him more times than I can count and he has not repented. How is having sexual conversations with other women and talking to them on the phone not being unfaithful? It baffles me that people can truly believe that.
 
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pastac

Guest
#23
#23
Lavender111 what don't you get yet. The comments you receive are based on the one side you share. You share too much information don't you get that. If you think its not enough either way you need to seek God for yourself. If you refuse to accept wise counsel you will get what you get.
pastac
 
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kayem77

Guest
#24
#24
pastac said:
Lavender111 what don't you get yet. The comments you receive are based on the one side you share. You share too much information don't you get that. If you think its not enough either way you need to seek God for yourself. If you refuse to accept wise counsel you will get what you get.
pastac
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With al due respect sir, you're the one that's out of place here. Where do you think you are? This a FORUM. It's designed for people to share, and get advice. If you don't like it, then don't ask for advice yourself, but don't stop others from doing so. I think lavender has the capability of discerning bad advice from good advice, with God's help and His Word.

Going back on topic, I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through lavender. And yes, I would consider that cheating too. Jesus even said " if you look at another woman with lust, you have commited adultery in your heart", so this is clear. Your husband obviously has lust issues, and doesn't show any signs of true repentance. I'm very slow to give advice when it comes to marriage, since I don't have the experience, but I personally think separation (not divorce necessarily, at least now) could be good for you both. If he wants to continue with that behavior, disobeying God and hurting his family, then it's time for him to reap what he sow. Hopefully, this will bring him to repentance.

Does he have any godly relationships that could keep him accountable?

I hope God restores your marriage.
 
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pastac

Guest
#25
#25
kayem77 said:
With al due respect sir, you're the one that's out of place here. Where do you think you are? This a FORUM. It's designed for people to share, and get advice. If you don't like it, then don't ask for advice yourself, but don't stop others from doing so. I think lavender has the capability of discerning bad advice from good advice, with God's help and His Word.

Going back on topic, I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through lavender. And yes, I would consider that cheating too. Jesus even said " if you look at another woman with lust, you have commited adultery in your heart", so this is clear. Your husband obviously has lust issues, and doesn't show any signs of true repentance. I'm very slow to give advice when it comes to marriage, since I don't have the experience, but I personally think separation (not divorce necessarily, at least now) could be good for you both. If he wants to continue with that behavior, disobeying God and hurting his family, then it's time for him to reap what he sow. Hopefully, this will bring him to repentance.

Does he have any godly relationships that could keep him accountable?

I hope God restores your marriage.
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You are not even remotely close to anything substantial on this issue so I will just consider the source. At no time have I been anything but supportive and trying to get this to be seen from the context of the op. Don't place yourself in a position to speak for someone when the op was directed at the author of the op not you or your inexperienced advice.
So like you said since you don't have the experience I owe you nothing except a reminder. Who I am is a man living for God each day with tons of experience on this and many other matters. All advice is not good advise is all she was reminded of and to be careful of any and advice on this or any site, so you are way off base.
pastac
 
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kayem77

Guest
#26
#26
pastac said:
You are not even remotely close to anything substantial on this issue so I will just consider the source. At no time have I been anything but supportive and trying to get this to be seen from the context of the op. Don't place yourself in a position to speak for someone when the op was directed at the author of the op not you or your inexperienced advice.
So like you said since you don't have the experience I owe you nothing except a reminder. Who I am is a man living for God each day with tons of experience on this and many other matters. All advice is not good advise is all she was reminded of and to be careful of any and advice on this or any site, so you are way off base.
pastac
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What I read here is: I'M RIGHT YOU'RE WRONG, I'M RIGHT AND EVERYBODY ELSE IS WRONG. NO ONE CAN PROVE ME WRONG. EVERYONE IS WRONG EXCEPT ME.

Not very helpful. Anyway, I won't argue with someone so close minded. My advice wasn't even directed at you, so don't worry about taking or not taking my advice :). Peace.
 
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pastac

Guest
#27
#27
What you read you read with the eyes and understanding of an inexperienced child because that is what you are to me as old as one of my children and by your own admission inexperienced.

Because you are on a site doesn't make us equals it never will if so that you think we are equals on any level then you would see the wisdom instead of trying to correct me for what you think you read! You are trying to have an adult conversation with adult topics that you have no experience in Remember?.
You put yourself in this position not me. What you read is what you want to read what you see is what you want to see. Again I do this every day. I loose no credibility because I'm online.

I am a Pastor and that is my calling I don't get online and throw out opinions for fun. I pray and ask what to respond to and do so out of obedience. It will not always be accepted in the Church and online. No surprise there! I said to the op and only to the op not you but you chimed in with your opinion I clearly and humbly stated and I repeat don't accept all advice on this or any other forum.
Hear God before you move. Stop sharing so much personal information on any site. And that is wisdom if you agree or not. Now I wont even address your comments further as it would tend to undermine the point s given.
1 cor 8-13
8Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. 9For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. 10But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. 11When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known
 
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