So everyone knows about my life in my first testimony and seeing how it helped so many people I felt lead to make a second testimony except this one is about my short journey into faith. I have been saved for only two years and much has happened and has changed me me greatly.
It begins one night when I was very sad and lonely, I felt alone like no one cared and out of options I said to God in my tears right before I fell asleep that I needed him to prove to me he is real so that I know I am not alone in this world. That night I suddenly was in a pure white place on the right side of God himself, in front of us was this river of rainbow colors so vivid and so beautiful it brought you to tears. he told me it was plan i had no idea if that was his plan for me or for the world but in my tears I just kept thanking him for showing me this over and over again and the dream faded. I woke up the next morning glad he answered me but surprisingly enough it wasnt enough for me to be saved, i found this odd but went on with my life.
I had tried to be saved several times before but God and I never made that special connection, I remember a while before this dream I was at a church and the preacher really touched me and I was bawling because I wanted to be saved so bad. I was leaving still bawling and a woman asked me what was wrong and I said I wanted to be saved but God and I could never make that special connection. she replied with aww you poor thing handed me a bible and i went home. deep down I knew why I couldnt be saved, I knew I wasn't willing to give up everything for him I knew that my video game addiction would be first not him.
But one fateful night in my room I was yet again depressed i was in the state of mind where i didnt care if I died, i took a look at my life everything i did everything i had and saw it as trash i had no reason to be alive and I knew it. I then got on my knees thinking to myself how Christians always seem to be happy and have a reason to live and I wanted that, next thing you know being the cry baby i am i was bawling again and I begged God to save me, I said I didnt care if he took my video games or everything I own as long as he would come into my heart. I then crawled into bed still drenched in tears and said to myself he won't answer i wouldn't even answer me and went to sleep. I don't think I even dreamed that night but I woke up the next morning different.
as soon as I woke I could feel how the holy spirit was alive in me like a burning fire loaded with power and life, i didnt even need coffee to wake up like i always do i jumped out of bed dancing with joy and I swore to him that I would give him my all in return for what he did for me. however I didnt have anyone to teach me about being a Christian, I walked up to a church nearby and asked a pastor to teach me. he gave me some advice but I knew in my spirit this was not how God wanted me to learn, so I said to myself well then who better to teach me then God himself? So I went into my room and began reading the bible, it was strange every word I read it felt as if my soul was devouring it. I had no idea how to pray and wasnt able to pray out loud or in my mind so i wrote my prayers to him and this worked very well for me.
I always wrote what was in my heart and because of this I felt God and i become very close very fast. I soon went to a church that my cousins went to kind of far away and I connected with the people there and sat with them. the man there was a youth group leader and had some youths sit with us, there came a time when we were supposed to pray out loud and i have never done this before and in all honesty was nervous praying in front of ppl. it came to my turn and I simply blocked out everything as if it was just me and God and I didnt say the normal prayers everyone always prayed i simply poured my heart out to God,everything he and i always talked about how much i loved him how I hungered for him and i said all these things and others like wanting wisdom as if it was a normal conversation like he was right next to me.
I didnt know how much time had passed but when I was done I looked up and ppl were staring, they said they have never heard a prayer like that saying how that was the most amazing and beautiful prayer they have ever heard. I didnt know it back then but I would later find out i was different from most Christians, no more special just different. I would love to tell more but this post is getting very long so I have to make another
It begins one night when I was very sad and lonely, I felt alone like no one cared and out of options I said to God in my tears right before I fell asleep that I needed him to prove to me he is real so that I know I am not alone in this world. That night I suddenly was in a pure white place on the right side of God himself, in front of us was this river of rainbow colors so vivid and so beautiful it brought you to tears. he told me it was plan i had no idea if that was his plan for me or for the world but in my tears I just kept thanking him for showing me this over and over again and the dream faded. I woke up the next morning glad he answered me but surprisingly enough it wasnt enough for me to be saved, i found this odd but went on with my life.
I had tried to be saved several times before but God and I never made that special connection, I remember a while before this dream I was at a church and the preacher really touched me and I was bawling because I wanted to be saved so bad. I was leaving still bawling and a woman asked me what was wrong and I said I wanted to be saved but God and I could never make that special connection. she replied with aww you poor thing handed me a bible and i went home. deep down I knew why I couldnt be saved, I knew I wasn't willing to give up everything for him I knew that my video game addiction would be first not him.
But one fateful night in my room I was yet again depressed i was in the state of mind where i didnt care if I died, i took a look at my life everything i did everything i had and saw it as trash i had no reason to be alive and I knew it. I then got on my knees thinking to myself how Christians always seem to be happy and have a reason to live and I wanted that, next thing you know being the cry baby i am i was bawling again and I begged God to save me, I said I didnt care if he took my video games or everything I own as long as he would come into my heart. I then crawled into bed still drenched in tears and said to myself he won't answer i wouldn't even answer me and went to sleep. I don't think I even dreamed that night but I woke up the next morning different.
as soon as I woke I could feel how the holy spirit was alive in me like a burning fire loaded with power and life, i didnt even need coffee to wake up like i always do i jumped out of bed dancing with joy and I swore to him that I would give him my all in return for what he did for me. however I didnt have anyone to teach me about being a Christian, I walked up to a church nearby and asked a pastor to teach me. he gave me some advice but I knew in my spirit this was not how God wanted me to learn, so I said to myself well then who better to teach me then God himself? So I went into my room and began reading the bible, it was strange every word I read it felt as if my soul was devouring it. I had no idea how to pray and wasnt able to pray out loud or in my mind so i wrote my prayers to him and this worked very well for me.
I always wrote what was in my heart and because of this I felt God and i become very close very fast. I soon went to a church that my cousins went to kind of far away and I connected with the people there and sat with them. the man there was a youth group leader and had some youths sit with us, there came a time when we were supposed to pray out loud and i have never done this before and in all honesty was nervous praying in front of ppl. it came to my turn and I simply blocked out everything as if it was just me and God and I didnt say the normal prayers everyone always prayed i simply poured my heart out to God,everything he and i always talked about how much i loved him how I hungered for him and i said all these things and others like wanting wisdom as if it was a normal conversation like he was right next to me.
I didnt know how much time had passed but when I was done I looked up and ppl were staring, they said they have never heard a prayer like that saying how that was the most amazing and beautiful prayer they have ever heard. I didnt know it back then but I would later find out i was different from most Christians, no more special just different. I would love to tell more but this post is getting very long so I have to make another
