I messed up really bad

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6

6ftmiracle

Guest
#1
#1
Hello I met this girl 5 years ago and we've always been really close. She is in Texas and I'm in Alabama and we've been seeing eachother from a distance from about 9 months. Everything was great. I was really amazing towards this girl I was kind, sweet, compassionate, honest, I never cheated. everything a women would want in a god fearing man. She was raised in a Christian family and we talked about god a the time she's a nice girl. She loved me, she said that to me all day everyday, she said that no man compared to me, that I was irreplaceable, that she was happy with me that she would never leave. she would send me photos of wedding rings she tell me all the time about how and where we were getting married and how we would have a family that's how good I was to her. everything was perfect I thought she was the one. But one thing went wrong and it all fell apart. Everybody has flaws and I accepted that. One day she asked me what would you do if I had cheated on you and that made me wonder she would say things that would make me wonder if something was going on behind my back a lot of things.i feel like that's not something you ask your partner especially since you say you love your partner so much that shouldn't even be up for discussion. So I texted her from a fake number multiple times to see if she was cheating on me and I was asking her friends if she was seeing anybody else and she found out it was me and she got angry and cussed me like crazy and she said I f'd up so now I have to live with it after a year of being together. To find out she was being faithful and honest with me the whole time. Me and my family tried to contact her parents to inform him them of the situation but he thought I was playing with his phone by just calling him I was trying to tell them what was going on but Her parents said I can never speak to her again if I do he will call the police. I tried to explain myself but her dad wouldn't let me and I thought this was it. This was the one god has for me and I ruined it because I was dishonest and this is gods way of punishing my dishonesty. I felt like she had every right to be frustrated but to break it off after all of that I didn't agree with that at all. It was one mistake this was the only thing I have ever done wrong to her. I repented for being so dishonest. I was told that if this is what god really has for me then she will come back to me. I wanted somebody else's opinion on the situation.
 
S

Susanna

Guest
#2
#2
Well, you need to ask yourself how you would feel if she was the one texting from a fake number multiple times to see if you was cheating and asking your friends if you was seeing anybody...if I was her I would have made you suffer for at mighty long time with a tail on it before I even allowed you to think about calling me again, and then maybe....just maybe I'd pick up that phone tellin you what a snake in the grass you was back then...you see? If I was this girl I would make you work hard to get things back on track again after such an incident...just sayin...
 
K

kenthomas27

Guest
#3
#3
First, 6ft, please understand that God does not punish you for your mistakes. Everything you do has consequence. God doesn't go out of His way to punish you, especially when you're so handy and do such a grand job yourself. Second, there was a discussion a while back about cheating and suspicion of cheating in this CC site. Someone made the accurate observation that the one who is usually highly suspicious of his or her mate cheating is typically the one doing the cheating (or at least capable of it). Just food for thought, but if you have to resort to going behind her back to check up on her without just asking her, then this might represent a glaring flaw in your relationship with her from the get-go. Lastly, for her parents to become so concerned with your calling their daughter to threaten calling the police, I'm thinking you left some of the harsher moments out of your commentary.

All that being said, I don't know of any biblical or spiritual evidence that suggests God chooses our mates and ordains them as "the one" to our knowledge.
 
6

6ftmiracle

Guest
#4
#4
This is 6ft Susanna you sound very vengeful right now. You sound cold hearted. Yes I was dishonest one time with my ex girlfriend and yes I was wrong for that. The drive to go and she her is 18 hours. When she is in a bad mood her story changes. She asked me all kinda of questions about unfaithfulness and what would I do if she was unfaithful. Yes I did worry yes I get very jealous over someone I cared about yes my ex being mad and you being mad at me is very understandable and not to seperate. Yes she was honest with me the whole time and yes I did punish her with my insecurities and I was wrong. I made a mistake and yes I agree with you she should be frustrated with me especially since she didn't do anything wrong. But for you to sit here and say you would make me suffer??? The person she wanted to spend her life with, her everything that's too much. That comment shows me what kind of heart you have. And no I did not say anything offensive to her I was very respectful and friendly. Nothing disrespectful. It made her angry that I didn't trust her. That can be hard to do when somebodies story changes a lot. Susanna I think you can be a little more understanding of why I did what I did. And no I would get mad at her and leave her. It's the woman I love I wouldn't leave her for anything, I'd talk this situation out with her and be honest and assure her that I am completely faithful to you, id make her feel as comfortable as possible and continue to be patient with her because she's human and she has feelings I wouldn't dare leave her over anything like this. I made a mistake and I was wrong for that mistake show me a little mercy Susanna
 
6

6ftmiracle

Guest
#5
#5
And no I have never cheated on her she is the only female I spoke to period so no don't say that to me I spoke to her all day everyday and was the only female I ever spoke too
 
B

Brighthouse

Guest
#6
#6
During the dating period, testing should be done 6ftmiracle,and as you can see already,what someone says to you does matter! I start my first date with the car test,I pick her up, i unlock the door, open the door for her,then close it behind her( old school lol)and go over to the drivers side,if she does not move over to open my door the date is done,before it even starts!

Do not feel bad about testing,because I can sure tell you that woman will test you to!And they should! Better to find out now, rather then later! As the bible says trust in the Lord only!Psalm 146:3 and psalms 118:8. Testing should be a major part in dating,this way you both can see, if the words each uses is confirmed!

If someone gets mad at your testing,then you know they should be tested!! LOL Falling in love is measured by how much love you are witnessed to.There is no reason to fear a test,when you have nothing to hide to begin with!! Is there?? lol I know there will not be many to jump into my boat on this one!! But I believe in testing,and I sure believe a woman has every right to test me to!! Trust is given in the measure one can believe in that person as a friend before any husband or wife! Make sure the stones you through at me, are small ones please LOL
 
6

6ftmiracle

Guest
#7
#7
Bright house I appreciate that so much thank you and yes she did test me she didn't just catch feelings instantly she gave a hard time first before things got better and yes I was patient and very honest during that test. That's how I felt does she have something to hide if not then what's the problem?? Thank you so much I completely agree with you thank you
 
L

live4faith

Guest
#8
#8
I know it can be rough when you love someone so much who doesn't live near you. All you have is faith to go on. And we, as humans all get insecure at times. No matter how old. If it's just a simple misunderstanding, perhaps time can correct your relationship. Misunderstandings happen all the time and sometimes get the best of us. I pray you find peace in this situation. Be blessed <3
 
6

6ftmiracle

Guest
#9
#9
Thank you so much I appreciate that so much be blessed
 
Angela53510

Angela53510

Senior Member
#11
Jan 24, 2011
11,786
2,961
113
#11
If she has dumped you, for whatever reason, it is over. She was not the "one"!

Try and move forward! God will provide the right person when the time is right. In the meantime, use this time to read your Bible, pray, and grow closer to God.

My thought is to try and meet someone in Texas, not an Internet contact. That way you will get to know her in person, and her personality will be a bit more obvious.

Sorry you are hurting.
 
6

6ftmiracle

Guest
#12
#12
Angela thank you so much I appreciate that I really do
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#13
#13
Brighthouse said:
During the dating period, testing should be done 6ftmiracle,and as you can see already,what someone says to you does matter! I start my first date with the car test,I pick her up, i unlock the door, open the door for her,then close it behind her( old school lol)and go over to the drivers side,if she does not move over to open my door the date is done,before it even starts!

Do not feel bad about testing,because I can sure tell you that woman will test you to!And they should! Better to find out now, rather then later! As the bible says trust in the Lord only!Psalm 146:3 and psalms 118:8. Testing should be a major part in dating,this way you both can see, if the words each uses is confirmed!

If someone gets mad at your testing,then you know they should be tested!! LOL Falling in love is measured by how much love you are witnessed to.There is no reason to fear a test,when you have nothing to hide to begin with!! Is there?? lol I know there will not be many to jump into my boat on this one!! But I believe in testing,and I sure believe a woman has every right to test me to!! Trust is given in the measure one can believe in that person as a friend before any husband or wife! Make sure the stones you through at me, are small ones please LOL
Click to expand...
You do realise many women don't have long enough arms to open the driver's door from the passenger side, don't you? I put your test to the test just now. I'm 6'5" and I could open the driver's door but I couldn't swing it open very far. Just saying you might need a new test. That said, opening and closing the door for your lady love is a great practice, I highly recommend it.
 
6

6ftmiracle

Guest
#14
#14
Will you explain yourself tinton?
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#15
#15
6ftmiracle said:
Will you explain yourself Tintin?
Click to expand...
Sorry, what do you mean? My post was in response to Brighthouse's test to see if the date should go any further.
I'm sorry to hear about your own situation, that must be really tough. You know what you did, you've kicked yourself enough. Now dust yourself off. Learn from this mistake. I think it's time to move on and to dig deeper into Christ and His Word. Don't see this as the end of the journey. See it as one of the valleys before you climb the next mountain.
 
6

6ftmiracle

Guest
#16
#16
I was tested and I passed. Her dad cheated on her mom, she got in a car accident, her dad had a stroke, she has insecurities, she has a temper, she has mood swings, she has trust issues, she has been dishonest before, sometimes she bad a poor attitude, and I stayed with her trough all of that. No matter of any arguement, any disagreement, any situation we went through I never left I stayed with her through all of it I wouldn't dare abandoned her over any situation. I've been dealing with all of this for years. I was patient, I was kind, I was honest, I was trustworthy....she said I was irreplaceable, that no guy compared to me, that she loved me and she was happy with me....,.I passed my test......
 
C

CornerstoneChic

Guest
#17
#17
Dear 6ftmiracle,

I know the pain you must be going through I have been there myself a time or two.

I am a firm believer in the red flag system for example...
When she asked you "what would you do if I ever cheated on you" (red flag) Who asks that unless they intend to cheat or are into mind games?
Also when she found out that you were texting her from fake numbers and questioning her friends. Though, I do understand where she might of been upset about that for her to automatically jump to anger and cussing (red flag) Is this the way she is going to handle every disagreement?
In my opinion I wouldn't say you ruined it. I would say you made a mistake. We all make mistakes but as Christians were called to forgive. Sometimes that's really hard to do.
God guides and directs his children. If he is saying no over this relationship then you should trust him and move on. He knows what's best for you.
Get in the word of God and pray you will find peace there.
Praying for you....
 
6

6ftmiracle

Guest
#18
#18
Thank you so much cornerstone I dearly appreciate it
 
H

hisgarden1943

Guest
#19
#19
You were not only dishonest, you were afraid. People are human. Sometimes were afraid of loss of a thing or of a person. You are young. I am not sometimes I am afraid of loss and and get "nervous and jerky" and say and do the wrong thing even though I know I should not take a certain action. All I can do is accept the consequences and practice forgiveness of yourself. No one is perfect. I hope I have helped; I am 71 yrs. old. You feel so terrible because you are mad at yourself for not making one good decision. Work on forgiving her and yourself and move on...life can be great. That is how I found this web site! eva
 
6

6ftmiracle

Guest
#20
#20
Yes I was very afraid, I was afraid somebody else had her attention. Yes I was wrong for being dishonest but only out of fear and just because I was lying to save myself ......thank you so much I appreciate you god bless
 
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