Mature audience please

[minnesotablu]

alright... so i'm almost 21 years old and i have neverrrr had a sex talk. which lucky for my mom, i was more interested in horses than boys growing up so it was never a problem. i actually learned to substain from sex until marriage through my youth group when i was as young as 12 and once i got that idea in my head it kinda stuck. you guys all seem like amazing parents being able to talk to your kids about such a thing, but honestly, if my mom had come to me wanting to talk about sex i woulda ran for the hills! haha actually... she kinda made sex a really awkward topic until recently and it actually helped me in avoiding it? my brothers also are the same (although they probably dont want the world knowing this) haha.

i am pretty paranoid however, when i get to starting a family and having my own kids becauseeeeee i wont know the best way to handle it. i turned out alright avoiding the subject, but there's a good chance my own kids could be different. would i promote birth control? probably not. but it's a difficult thing to consider nonetheless.

 

[Slepsog4]

Do not teach them about abstinence. Teach them about PURITY. With purity comes abstinence and protection from both STDs and out of wedlock pregnancy.

Many "birth control pills" have an abortifacient product included. If the conception is not prevented it makes the uterus hostile to implantation.

 

[lifetime]

I think there's a time to put your daughter on birth control and it's not until she is ready to be sexually active. I think doing it in advance will just promote it. This means though that you and her need to have open communication on the subject and help her feel comfortable talking to you about it so that when the time does come, and it likely will, then she will not hesitate to come and talk to you about it. Let her know that you are accepting and open on the subject. At the same time I agree with the others that talking about the advantages of abstinence and the dangers of sex are very very important too. And talk about it on a regular basis. Not daily but every once in a while so that you keep in touch with her views and position on it.

 

[carpetmanswife]

my son is 21 now with 2 little girls ,both out of wedlock. was i a bad parent ? no ..not perfect certainly but not a bad one .he knew and knows 'the truth' he was raised in church , we had 'the talk' he knew my stand on things ..DONT , but if u do protect yourself. he didnt listen to either arguement . now he is married to the mother of the girls and his life is pure hell. they were not ready for either task *marriage or parenthood* were my grandaughters a mistake? ..NEVER! ..of course i was disappointed at first but mostly at the timing of things but God never makes mistakes and all life has a purpose , married or not. thats my take on things.thanks for all the responses

 

[Compassion]

I think I would have been insulted if my grandma (she raised me) would have taken me to get on birth control, because I was not having sex. I don't think you should just assume that your child is going to have sex. Definately teach abstinence, but have an open relationship enough so that your child will come to you if they do need condoms or birth control.

 

[soco]

Ok here is my thought and experience. I was 16 when I got pregant with my son. Sex was never talked about in our home, much less asking her to put us on birth control. All we knew is that it was wrong to have sex before marraige. I did not care I had sex anyway (it was also a rebellion thing I wanted out)If they want to have sex they will regardless if they are on birth control or how they are rainsed. I just found out that my 16 year old has had sex and I am devastated. I have spoked very openly with all my kids about sex, had many discussions and they are raised with morals and taught Gods ways, but she did it anyway. I love my son very much but I do wish I would have waited. I went through a hard time and struggled through it all. My parents did help me with certain things, but he was my responsibility not theirs. I could go on and on about the struggle I had. All I keep telling myself is that I have taught them right from wrong and with Gods instruction. All I can do now is pray that they will seek Gods direction before making any decisions

 

[jaylynn83]

I would never take my daughter to be put on birth control...... I'll tell her what god says about sex before marriage, I'll obviously encourage her she should abstain from sex before she is married, and i will always pray for her that she will make good decisions regarding that.... however.... If she does not... She must know that there are consequences for her actions, I WILL NOT say okay sweetie here you go heres some pills you can take so that when you are having sex you wont get pregnant.......If she is going to choose to act foolish, she will suffer the consequences. When she is 18 and out of the house... she can choose to get on whatever type of birth control she wants........ as long as she is in my house... There will be none of that.

 

[Alan2009]

I would never take my daughter to be put on birth control...... I'll tell her what god says about( sex before marriage), I'll obviously encourage her she should abstain from sex before she is married, and i will always pray for her that she will make good decisions regarding that.... however.... If she does not... She must know that there are consequences for her actions, I WILL NOT say okay sweetie here you go heres some pills you can take so that when you are having sex you wont get pregnant.......If she is going to choose to act foolish, she will suffer the consequences. When she is 18 and out of the house... she can choose to get on whatever type of birth control she wants........ as long as she is in my house... There will be none of that.

Really Holly.

 

[hsv]

hi its hsv,
i too have a son who has become sexually active with a serious girlfriend even after my wife and i told him to abstain untill married.
After many discussions and concluded that they be supervised when visiting each other.Also we have comitted the situation unto God

 

[mercyswolf]

my son is 21 now with 2 little girls ,both out of wedlock. was i a bad parent ? no ..not perfect certainly but not a bad one .he knew and knows 'the truth' he was raised in church , we had 'the talk' he knew my stand on things ..DONT , but if u do protect yourself. he didnt listen to either arguement . now he is married to the mother of the girls and his life is pure hell. they were not ready for either task *marriage or parenthood* were my grandaughters a mistake? ..NEVER! ..of course i was disappointed at first but mostly at the timing of things but God never makes mistakes and all life has a purpose , married or not. thats my take on things.thanks for all the responses

Ok...first of all I have to agree that birth control does nothing more than promote sex just like the rest of "modern american" society. Though I will say on the other hand that for a time my wife was on birth control because of the severity of her cramps while it was that time of the month. One of the biggest mistakes in my life was committing to sex before marriage. The girl wasn't my wife either and to this day I regret it. I'm thankful to say that my son was not born out of wedlock but my wife and I still have to face the every day challenges of being young parents. A bad thing you ask? No...certainly not to be able to raise a kid in today's society and the opportunity God has blessed us with to raise him in His eyes. I have to say that in about another 14 years (or earlier if need be) when my child is old enough to understand he will be taught what the word of God says about sex before marriage and why it's wrong to have sex before marriage. Birth control...in my personal opinion if it's for a literal medical purpose, i.e.: severe cramps, I say go for it. The reason I can back this is that my wife has actually passed out from being in so much pain. So therefore, if it's a valid reason fine, otherwise no. I would have to agree with everyone else here, birth control would only promote and fuel an already out of control fire in modern america.

 

[s932]

first, yes, i am only 13...but i see the sturggles my friends face and i have struggles of my own about sex and dating, so i can easily realte to HER. so here's the basic rundown of the facts:
1. sex is wrong in the bible if you are not married TO THE PERSON YOU HAVE SEX WITH
2. the government and news media usually dont try to prevent sex under the age of 18 because companies that sell birth control/condoms, lingerie, etc., would lose business
3. girls arent so INNOCENT when it comes to sex... IT IS POSSIBLE TO SAY NO, BUT ALOT OF GIRLS DONT! (basically, its not ALWAYS date rape...girls can be"BAD" too.)
4. alot of parents (not saying that you do this) dont care about their daughters enough to keep up with WHO they are dating and dont GET TO KNOW THE BOY'S PARENTS!
5. girls are very hormonal and emotional during teenage years and alot of times feel the need to be noticed and LOVED...so alot of girls turn to their boyfriend the look for happiness/pleasure/love.
6. ALL TEENS (BOYS AND GIRLS) AT SOME POINT FEEL THE NEED OF PLEASURE (or having sex) AND THINK THAT THEY must SATISFY THAT NEED WHEN ALL THEY NEED TO DO IS PRAY TO GOD SO THAT THEY DONT GET INVOLVED SEXUALLY.

so basically, its all emotional and hormonal stuff...try to understand her point of view, but NEVER give in because you think she will think that you "DONT UNDERSTAND". talk to GOD and pray about it and read the bible to see what EXACTLY it says because you shouldnt look for answers from the bible in a forum. that is like looking for apples in an orange tree! good luck and blessings to you and your daughter...
may GOD help you find your way and if you have any other questions, you can message me and i will be checking back here every so often to see how you are doing.