"Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." Romans 5:3-5
God never promised us a perfect life. He promised he would be with us, and he would work all things together for good, including suffering.
God gave me the above verses when I was recovering from a failed foot reconstruction surgery, and I lost my voice completely for 2 months, as a result of going off my Rheumatoid Arthritis meds. I have never looked back.
God really does love you, and he is going to change you into his image.
But as Ellie said, there is no shame in seeing a doctor and getting on some anti-depressants. The longer you put this off, the harder it will be for the physical brain to recover. You said you can't focus, and that can be another sign of depression.
Praying you will get the medical help you need, and that God is transforming you in the storm and the fire!
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you.
3 For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Saviour."Isaiah 42:1b-3a