A
My friends tease me a lot, insult me in the use of jokes. Although they do say they're only joking, to me, the approach doesn't seem like a joke at all. They treat me like someone lower than them, and it hurts a lot. Of course, since i don't want to act childish by getting mad easily, i try my best to smile at what they say although i really want to be mad. I got mad once, but they told i was no fun, that i always such a boring person. That they were only joking, and that if it wasn't really true, then i shouldn't get angry. So yeah, i turned out to be someone who hardened her heart from their daily ridicule.
i try my best not to get mad, i calm myself down and just keep my mouth shut when i want to explode. It's not easy acting like i'm having fun, acting like there words doesn't hurt.
So i tried doing the same to them. I retaliated in the least worst manner, since i hate hurting others although they've hurt me. I wanted to get back at them at what they did to me, but i never could. And when i succeed doing so, they get mad at me. THEY GET MAD. AT ME. BECAUSE I INSULTED THEM.
Why?! don't i have the right to give back what they gave to me?
Aren't they childish as well?
it's irritating. It's really irritating that they think so highly of themselves and think so lowly of me when we're just the same.
And the thing that really depresses me right now is that my cousin...the number 1 person who insults me most...i got mad at her because of making me wait for a long time. it was the only time i got mad, and to think i wasn't even entirely that mad, i just wasn't able to meet her with a smile. Come on, who could smile when you've waited for two freaking hours and you still have loads of works to do?!
And now, she's mad and she's not talking to me although i'm trying to make conversations.
Why can they be mad when i can't?
Why is it so easy for them to let go of me when i'm even having a hard time staying mad at them for long?
T.T i'm sorry. I'm just really frustrated right now and i just want to let out.
i try my best not to get mad, i calm myself down and just keep my mouth shut when i want to explode. It's not easy acting like i'm having fun, acting like there words doesn't hurt.
So i tried doing the same to them. I retaliated in the least worst manner, since i hate hurting others although they've hurt me. I wanted to get back at them at what they did to me, but i never could. And when i succeed doing so, they get mad at me. THEY GET MAD. AT ME. BECAUSE I INSULTED THEM.
Why?! don't i have the right to give back what they gave to me?
Aren't they childish as well?
it's irritating. It's really irritating that they think so highly of themselves and think so lowly of me when we're just the same.
And the thing that really depresses me right now is that my cousin...the number 1 person who insults me most...i got mad at her because of making me wait for a long time. it was the only time i got mad, and to think i wasn't even entirely that mad, i just wasn't able to meet her with a smile. Come on, who could smile when you've waited for two freaking hours and you still have loads of works to do?!
And now, she's mad and she's not talking to me although i'm trying to make conversations.
Why can they be mad when i can't?
Why is it so easy for them to let go of me when i'm even having a hard time staying mad at them for long?
T.T i'm sorry. I'm just really frustrated right now and i just want to let out.