Sins of your Gender

[Marcus2x2]

I understand your points cookie and it all makes sense, but it bothers me when people say that 'they all do', whether it's a man referring to a woman or vice versa, it makes me think why should I bother holding out hope, I don't understand how a person can believe that we are all wired to fail and yet there could be a better person out there for us, I don't believe we will all make the same mistakes, there are better people, even if they are rare, and I don't personally believe you can't be one of those people if your not christian either.

I agree with you Matthew. I know of christian men and women who've found spouses who aren't saved and they're quite happy. By the grace of God some have come to Christ, while some others tragically have not. I think one has to focus on becoming the best person one can be before God, learn how to be a good future spouse by praying for God's guidance, but also reading His Word and learning from other peoples mistakes!

I don't understand how a person can believe that we are all wired to fail and yet there could be a better person out there for us

That is a bit of a paradox lol. It's almost as if we wish to justify failure in ourselves and yet expect near perfection from the "right one" fanciful nonsense!

Also, I think it was Concernedguy who said before "Many will say they are happy but in most cases just mean they are unaware of their need for others in their life". I must admit I was one of those people! It was only until about a year ago, I met (not dated) this woman that was my age who showed a great deal of kindness towards me (we got on like a house on fire). It was only then that I realised ... it was kind of like realising at that moment how much I missed the company of someone like her and how foolish I was to carry on with the Victorian styled, obstinate "bachelor for life" kind of thing!

 

[kiwi_OT]

Matthew, as you well know, I was emotionally, physically and sexually (thought not raped) abused by my step father. Youd think this would screw up a person and it did in a way and it gave me post traumatic stress, but theres a healing process that I went through. If your worried about being involved with women who carry their pain and fears into one relationship after another then you need to pray for a discerning heart. I think I healed well because my ex boyfriend and I had very clear boundaries in relation to my sensitivity to abuse. So it is possible to love a woman with those issues as long as everything is clear.
Another thing to be careful though, is if you enter into a relationship where you help a woman heal from her past, she may begin to idolise you, which is what I did and sorely regret and have learnt from.. Dont allow these women to put you on a pedestal.
Be strong in yourself, dont allow them to accuse you of having 'abusive' tendencies if you clearly know you dont. Hurt women become very good at blaming and having a low self esteem. Dont allow them to use you for their healing.
Msg me if you want cos I could say more on this..

 

[greatkraw]

Thank you for this Melody. You are speaking to my situation. I know a Christian girl who is just NOT getting on with healing. Has no self esteem and is big on blaming.

 

[faith4life]

Guys, i just found out that we can not lose our salvation So we go to heaven no matter what we do, so why worry about sinning? God gonna let us in regardless.

 

[Kyra]

Guys, i just found out that we can not lose our salvation So we go to heaven no matter what we do, so why worry about sinning? God gonna let us in regardless.

Wrong thread. Wrong thinking. ( Romans 6:1 & 15 )