Switching from one extreme to another

[Malodrik]

For my teen years, I lived a very unGodly life. Promiscuous women, narcotics, etc etc. As such, I've been blinded to what true "love" really is, and what it feels like. I'm not pushing myself for a relationship, but I'm afraid that I've become jaded (unintentionally) towards the notion of actual "attraction" instead of just a booty call as it were. I've forgotten what it's like to enjoy someone's personality, and find solace when you're with them. Somebody you can relate too, instead of someone you can just bed.

So, can someone throw me a bone here? If a Christian girl is into me, will she telegraph it differently then a girl ingrained in the secular world? And if so, how?

 

[FixYourWeave]

hahah that last line was funny.

I think its generally the same. However christian women dont dress like there about to have sex, or they dont throw themselves at men. Christian women go about it a better way

 

[Malodrik]

And what is this "better" way they go about it?

 

[FixYourWeave]

Maybe not better but a bit more suttle. Every woman is different you must remember, so every woman is going to have a different way of letting you know their intrested. Some might just come out and say it while others will kind of hint around it or you can tell by things they do. There is no one specific way.

 

[dothackzero]

If subttle means totally ignoring me, then that means I have a lot of girls after.

 

[IronicC]

Are you saved Malodrik?

 

[Malodrik]

Are you saved Malodrik?

I am indeed.

 

[heart4him]

If subttle means totally ignoring me, then that means I have a lot of girls after.

hahahahahahaha

 

[cookie39]

A christian woman will look for the God in you first; no faking it, she will know. and a christian woman will not want to hear about sex between you and her; it will be ok to tell her how you feel about having no intrest in just sex. her main focus will be how you and her can grow in the Lord, shee will pay attention to all you say and see if it is what God want for the both of you. because some people are good for you, but are you good for them and vise-versa. she will be happy and straight forward to see if you are intemidated by her strengths that she has received from God. she will have used her past to learn more about herself and not dictate it to be something telling her about men. if she has a very close relationship with God' she will see if that is in you too that your aim is to please the Lord more than she.
the first words that comes out of your mouth will be the most important; God, who he is to you and what it means to you if you sin against him. for she knows that any wrong you do to her, you will know that it will be against God first. and this is how a christian woman chooses her husband and the same a man should do in choosing his wife. when this happen marriage comes faster ; less then a year. I have heard it, I have seen it; and yes I have lived it and is living it.
I am ver pretty, above average; been married twice before; I have met so many men since my divorce and every one of them told me that they would merry me and wanted to; only after being friends for a couple of months... after telling them what i stand for and what I will not stand for!! I am so down to earth and does not judge them from there past; but who they were in my present ( that is another story ) I was good to them and for them but they were not right for me ( watch-out this is a tricky one ) will deceive you into believing it goes both ways; so pay close attention to who is good for who. if you hear, " you are just what I want" and you don't see it to say it back; don't think you are. I got caught-up in that one too many times till God had to show me where I was going wrong. they said I was and it made me feel good; but looking back that was the only thing about them that made me like them. for how much they praised me. really crazy hah ? but it happens to many of us.

so when looking for a wife which you have to find,,,, when " a man " findeth a wife he findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor of the Lord.
if you want a strong christian woman talk to her about God, first; and if she say i beleive in God, but cannot tell you why... she's not ready... but if she come out singing his praises and telling you all he has done for her and how much her life is devoted to pleasing God; she is ready...but if you don;t want to hear too much or you feel like she is not talking much about you ( a little jealous) or you don't have these desires for God; then you are not ready,,, trust me without theses it will be soo easy to go into the world and the end of it will be horrible.

Hope this help to the glory and praise of God.... if you need me to break anything down I will do it for you...

 

[greatkraw]

A christian woman will look for the God in you first; no faking it, she will know. and a christian woman will not want to hear about sex between you and her; it will be ok to tell her how you feel about having no intrest in just sex. her main focus will be how you and her can grow in the Lord, shee will pay attention to all you say and see if it is what God want for the both of you. because some people are good for you, but are you good for them and vise-versa. she will be happy and straight forward to see if you are intemidated by her strengths that she has received from God. she will have used her past to learn more about herself and not dictate it to be something telling her about men. if she has a very close relationship with God' she will see if that is in you too that your aim is to please the Lord more than she.
the first words that comes out of your mouth will be the most important; God, who he is to you and what it means to you if you sin against him. for she knows that any wrong you do to her, you will know that it will be against God first. and this is how a christian woman chooses her husband and the same a man should do in choosing his wife. when this happen marriage comes faster ; less then a year. I have heard it, I have seen it; and yes I have lived it and is living it.
I am ver pretty, above average; been married twice before; I have met so many men since my divorce and every one of them told me that they would merry me and wanted to; only after being friends for a couple of months... after telling them what i stand for and what I will not stand for!! I am so down to earth and does not judge them from there past; but who they were in my present ( that is another story ) I was good to them and for them but they were not right for me ( watch-out this is a tricky one ) will deceive you into believing it goes both ways; so pay close attention to who is good for who. if you hear, " you are just what I want" and you don't see it to say it back; don't think you are. I got caught-up in that one too many times till God had to show me where I was going wrong. they said I was and it made me feel good; but looking back that was the only thing about them that made me like them. for how much they praised me. really crazy hah ? but it happens to many of us.

so when looking for a wife which you have to find,,,, when " a man " findeth a wife he findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor of the Lord.
if you want a strong christian woman talk to her about God, first; and if she say i beleive in God, but cannot tell you why... she's not ready... but if she come out singing his praises and telling you all he has done for her and how much her life is devoted to pleasing God; she is ready...but if you don;t want to hear too much or you feel like she is not talking much about you ( a little jealous) or you don't have these desires for God; then you are not ready,,, trust me without theses it will be soo easy to go into the world and the end of it will be horrible.

Hope this help to the glory and praise of God.... if you need me to break anything down I will do it for you...

easy how one forgets

when I was his age I was not so very different

I wish I had cookie and others to talk to

 

[Wug]

Just one question when looking for a godly woman.....Is it good to serenade on the first date? I have an accordian.

 

[Jullianna]

If you bring Cheetos and trade in the accordian for a harmonica. My apologies for the extremely delayed response. I should have been here for ya.

 

[TDWP22]

not really, same signs....she will look at you alot and try to talk to you, but beware this girls can be extremely shy since many dont know how to approach a guy

 

[NukePooch]

If you bring Cheetos and trade in the accordian for a harmonica. My apologies for the extremely delayed response. I should have been here for ya.

If one eats Cheetos then blows through a harmonica, there will be cheesy grossness flying everywhere. In addition, I'm sure the cheesiness will block the reeds in the harmonica making for some 'interesting' notes.
But, hey...if that's what you're into, who am I to judge?

 

[zeroturbulence]

For my teen years, I lived a very unGodly life. Promiscuous women, narcotics, etc etc. As such, I've been blinded to what true "love" really is, and what it feels like. I'm not pushing myself for a relationship, but I'm afraid that I've become jaded (unintentionally) towards the notion of actual "attraction" instead of just a booty call as it were. I've forgotten what it's like to enjoy someone's personality, and find solace when you're with them. Somebody you can relate too, instead of someone you can just bed.

So, can someone throw me a bone here? If a Christian girl is into me, will she telegraph it differently then a girl ingrained in the secular world? And if so, how?

They will silently hope and privately pray that you ask them out. That's how.

 

[Liamson]

They will silently hope and privately pray that you ask them out. That's how.

To be honest I'm having much of the same problem.

When I started playing by the rules a couple of years ago, I started going after the girls who play by the rules. But the problem is that I don't really know what the rules are, so I tend to stay on the safe side of social stuff, so I don't offend anyone. Or wind up being "that guy"

I kind of remind me of my high school self. I didn't know the rules then either, or anything about women.


My problem comes in not wanting to be a Jerk. My usual way of getting to know a woman is to spend a lot of time with them and eventually that friendship grows into something more. If I'm not interested I stop spending time with them gradually and start spending time with other women. However, I think the women who play by the rules have different motivations and expectations. Spending time and building friendship has clearly not been enough, or perhaps it hasn't been anything at all. Perhaps spending time with women only works in San Diego and Florida.

So my hypothesis is that they want me to ask them out and be interested in them, from the beginning. Like, "Hi I saw you from across the room and I noticed we have the same color belt. My name is Doug, Would you like to go on a Date with me?" ...or something overt and cheesy like that. Then after a few moments on our "Date" I realize that I'm not all that interested in this person, so I try to play if off casually, only to find out that she's changing her relationship status on her smartphone. Great! Then when I don't ask her out or do anything she acts entirely too emotional , as if I cleaned up dog poop with her teddy bear.

 

[zeroturbulence]

To be honest I'm having much of the same problem.

When I started playing by the rules a couple of years ago, I started going after the girls who play by the rules. But the problem is that I don't really know what the rules are, so I tend to stay on the safe side of social stuff, so I don't offend anyone. Or wind up being "that guy"

I kind of remind me of my high school self. I didn't know the rules then either, or anything about women.


My problem comes in not wanting to be a Jerk. My usual way of getting to know a woman is to spend a lot of time with them and eventually that friendship grows into something more. If I'm not interested I stop spending time with them gradually and start spending time with other women. However, I think the women who play by the rules have different motivations and expectations. Spending time and building friendship has clearly not been enough, or perhaps it hasn't been anything at all. Perhaps spending time with women only works in San Diego and Florida.

So my hypothesis is that they want me to ask them out and be interested in them, from the beginning. Like, "Hi I saw you from across the room and I noticed we have the same color belt. My name is Doug, Would you like to go on a Date with me?" ...or something overt and cheesy like that. Then after a few moments on our "Date" I realize that I'm not all that interested in this person, so I try to play if off casually, only to find out that she's changing her relationship status on her smartphone. Great! Then when I don't ask her out or do anything she acts entirely too emotional , as if I cleaned up dog poop with her teddy bear.

Well, I wish I had some advice. I actually haven't dated since I accepted Christ. I mean I haven't really been looking either. I know from the past that if I like someone I have to work up the courage to ask them out or else I'll never know if they are interested. I mean I usually look for some sort of sign first like if they like my jokes or something like that. In my case I was fortunate enough to suffer only a few rejections, BUT it was because I hardly ever asked a girl out. One thing that will turn a lot of women away who aren't christian is the abstinance before marriage. You can pretty much cross 90% of non-christian girls off your list, and then who's left? I'll tell you who...a lot of christian girls with strict lists of criteria that a guy has to meet. For this reason, and the fact that I am very strong in my faith, I've decided that I will not limit myself to only dating christians and if I find a woman who loves me, but will leave me if I dont have sex with her, I will have to keep asking God to forgive me until we are married, or until I can convince her to wait and/or to accept Christ. So for me, that is where I stand. You'll just have to decide if you really want to limit yourself and put your whole trust in God, or expand the possibilities as I am doing.

 

[zeroturbulence]

Don't get me wrong, I trust God wholeheartedly in a lot of things, but when it comes to bringing another person that has freewill of their own, I am worried that because God does not have control of our wills, we cannot expect God to bring a mate to us the way a king would order a servant to go to someone. A servant has no freewill, and people do. I guess you cold hope for God to bring one of his faithful servants to you as a mate, but just how many are there to go around?? Surely there can't be one wholly devoted, faithful servant woman for every man looking for a wife and vice versa. See what I mean?

 

[See_KING_Truth]

To be honest I'm having much of the same problem.

When I started playing by the rules a couple of years ago, I started going after the girls who play by the rules. But the problem is that I don't really know what the rules are, so I tend to stay on the safe side of social stuff, so I don't offend anyone. Or wind up being "that guy"

I kind of remind me of my high school self. I didn't know the rules then either, or anything about women.


My problem comes in not wanting to be a Jerk. My usual way of getting to know a woman is to spend a lot of time with them and eventually that friendship grows into something more. If I'm not interested I stop spending time with them gradually and start spending time with other women. However, I think the women who play by the rules have different motivations and expectations. Spending time and building friendship has clearly not been enough, or perhaps it hasn't been anything at all. Perhaps spending time with women only works in San Diego and Florida.

So my hypothesis is that they want me to ask them out and be interested in them, from the beginning. Like, "Hi I saw you from across the room and I noticed we have the same color belt. My name is Doug, Would you like to go on a Date with me?" ...or something overt and cheesy like that. Then after a few moments on our "Date" I realize that I'm not all that interested in this person, so I try to play if off casually, only to find out that she's changing her relationship status on her smartphone. Great! Then when I don't ask her out or do anything she acts entirely too emotional , as if I cleaned up dog poop with her teddy bear.

Whoa! Hold on, there are rules?

Maybe you should make known your intentions and expectations before spending a lot or even a little time with a woman, "dating" or not. Make her aware that you don't want to be called her bf after one date lol. That you want to build up a friendship before even considering pursuing anything more.

Treat them as you would a good friend, nothing more, nothing less. Leave all things that could give that woman the wrong idea or any form of romanticism for a later time, when you feel confident that it won't jeopardise the status of your relationship/friendship with the woman. Unless you want to shoot straight for a serous relationship, which I would never recommend, but sometimes it just happens.

I guess when it comes down to it you just have to seem like a jerk at moments, but you only seem that way... I would say it is just being blunt and to the point if you'd ask me. I don't think this would offend an emotionally mature woman, but you never know...

 

[Liamson]

Whoa! Hold on, there are rules?

Maybe you should make known your intentions and expectations before spending a lot or even a little time with a woman, "dating" or not. Make her aware that you don't want to be called her bf after one date lol. That you want to build up a friendship before even considering pursuing anything more.

Treat them as you would a good friend, nothing more, nothing less. Leave all things that could give that woman the wrong idea or any form of romanticism for a later time, when you feel confident that it won't jeopardise the status of your relationship/friendship with the woman. Unless you want to shoot straight for a serous relationship, which I would never recommend, but sometimes it just happens.

I guess when it comes down to it you just have to seem like a jerk at moments, but you only seem that way... I would say it is just being blunt and to the point if you'd ask me. I don't think this would offend an emotionally mature woman, but you never know...

See!

Thats about the same advice I would give myself too but, these girls don't seem to respond to it. Its like they want their Oompa Loompa's now daddy!!

Its like they want formal first dates with formal expectations and a Powerpoint presentation of the expected timeline.