Gypsygirl, some good advice there,
One of the first things i did when my marriage was over was to realize i do not want to continue on the same, i do not want to go through this again, yes there are no guarantees i know, but the person that i was in my marriage, gosh, cringe worthy! the potential to improve my chances in the future from the person that i was is literally staggering. But also i have a very good foundation to build upon, and there are many things i can be proud of. I was never unfaithful, i was always supportive, i never ever swore at my wife or shouted at her in anger, i was always gentle, always there for her, always honest, a great father to our child (which she herself told me many times). I never got drunk, never flirted with other women, never gambled or spent money on myself.
My area of deficiency springs from low self esteem, and my wife in her struggle to get what she wanted out of the relationship, did exactly all the wrong things to 'rub salt' so to speak against my low self esteem. I became depressed and cynical and unmotivated.
So my big life lesson has been to learn to like myself, and it is quite amazing how this one little thing can create such transformation, amazing, i just wish it had not taken me so long to learn!! So yes, i do feel like i am ready to start dating, but i am very cautious, i would feel better to at least wait until the divorce is finalized, and i still have allot to learn (as will always be the case).
Oh and i don't carry any bitterness towards my wife, although obviously i am not happy about not being allowed to try anything to save the marriage, i do acknowledge the divorce has opened the door to opportunity to find the healing and happiness that we could not find together.