AAAHHHH.... Thanks so much. I'm going to make it. God didn't bring me this far to fail.
Just a thought..you know, if suicide wasn't a sin there wouldn't be any christians on this orb?
I appreciate you folks. Even those I am hard on. I see things in black and white and there are boundaries. Way I am.
Thanks again.
Paul said:
"For I am in a strait betwixt two, having a desire to depart, and to be with Christ; which is far better: Nevertheless to abide in the flesh is more needful for you." (Philippians 1:23-24)
Life's not all about us, Phil, but all about God and His desires and He desires that none should perish and it's the duty of Christians, Christ's body here on earth, to "occupy until He comes". If suicide was acceptable for Christians, then I doubt that anybody who killed themselves to be with Christ was actually a Christian to begin with. Christ lived for others and we're all called to do the same.
When I lived in another part of Pennsylvania some years ago, I used to regularly drive past a hand made sign which somebody had posted on their property near the street. The sign read:
J esus
O thers
Y ou
Oftentimes our lack of joy is an indicator that our sights are set in the wrong place. IOW, oftentimes it's an indicator that our focus is too much upon ourselves as opposed to being upon Jesus and others. When our priorities are in order, then God will meet our own needs.
Some might find what I've written to be harsh or uncaring, but it isn't. I've been where you're at oftentimes and I just momentarily asked God to kill me about a half an hour ago. My own life has been trial after trial after trial after trial. Aside from momentary bouts of selfishness like the one that I just went through about a half an hour ago, I'm normally content to live for others and God's grace has always been sufficient.
I'll be praying for you, Phil.