So there is this girl in my youth group

[NateDaGrimes]

She showed up the beginning of this year with our youth group and we both became friends pretty fast among her sister and little brother. So she is 14/15 and I am 17 as you can see, but however during mid feb I was beginning to grow some personal feelings toward her even though I want to stay her friend. We don't touch or anything much less than pretend we are boxing (fight boxing) eachother and we often joke around. She is a very sweet girl and quite innocent and knowing me I used to struggle with pornography (years ago). I don't want to end up hurting her by getting in a relationship now and I still fear legal issues by when I turn 18 in 9 months. Any advices in the matter? I am praying bout this topic and I am trying to be atleast a close friend.

I get along with her parents very well, they seem to like me. but that is not the point I am going to discuss about lol.

 

[AgeofKnowledge]

In mathematics, we often present real world issues in the form of word problems. You don't need to know algebra; however, to see where the inputs you're offering can lead.

Legal Minor+Legal Adult+Losing A Sexual Allegation In Court (regardless of whether or not you're guilty or innocent)=Prison Sentence As A Sex Offender+Sex Offender Registry For Life

Now, in order to appreciate the first part of this equation you really need to grasp the second part of it.

Prison Is 'Living Hell' for Pedophiles - ABC News

Please don't angry with me for sharing this because I'm SURE that you ARE an OUTSTANDING MORAL young man who is genuinely following God's holy standards for your life.

I'm just trying to give you another view because I care about you my young brother in Christ. Innocent people do end up in prison right along with the guilty ones and it happens because they got themselves into a situation where an allegation could be made and was.

You're almost 18 so set your age or older right now as the baseline for dating. Be safe instead of sorry. Peace.

 

[RememberTheSabbathDay]

She showed up the beginning of this year with our youth group and we both became friends pretty fast among her sister and little brother. So she is 14/15 and I am 17 as you can see, but however during mid feb I was beginning to grow some personal feelings toward her even though I want to stay her friend. We don't touch or anything much less than pretend we are boxing (fight boxing) eachother and we often joke around. She is a very sweet girl and quite innocent and knowing me I used to struggle with pornography (years ago). I don't want to end up hurting her by getting in a relationship now and I still fear legal issues by when I turn 18 in 9 months. Any advices in the matter? I am praying bout this topic and I am trying to be atleast a close friend.

I get along with her parents very well, they seem to like me. but that is not the point I am going to discuss about lol.

Nate,


Run for ur life just as Joseph did.

You see Pharaoh's wife falsely accused Joseph. He did time in the pen. Actually its not wise to even play with her in anyway seeing you have an interest in her. She's young yet. Give her and yourself time to mentally mature as adults. Don't try to grow up too fast. Spend more time with God in seeking His will for your life.

It only takes a second to slip. Put no trust in the arms of the flesh God says. U have admitted u had a problem in the past with porn. It does not take much to arouse men as u very well know. Be wise about where your feet are tending.

Satan is waiting to welcome you with open arms and he plays for keeps. U may not want to think twice about taking the brother Ageof's advice.

 

[Deluge]

I think you should definitely wait until she is older. Assuming that she is turning 15 and you are turning 18, that's 3 years difference which isn't that much when you are older, but it's a lot right now. You learn so much about yourself from ages 13 - 22 (roughly) and people are still changing a lot. I'm nothing like I was two years ago, she is going to be very different in two years, as are you. Try to keep a sensible distance, because if you get too close (i.e. you start hanging out or talking on the phone every night) then the relationship will build to the point where she really wants to date you, and then you have to hurt her by saying you can't. This will make it harder to pursue her in the future, because in her mind her romantic situation with you will be slightly tainted. If you try to keeps things relatively casual (fight boxing is okay) and spending time together exclusively at youth group, in a few years you will have a good chance. You have 3 years on her, which she will find attractive until she is in her mid twenties, so if you got serious with her when you were 22 it would be prime time. But in all honesty, things change, and you might not feel the same way by then. But a relationship now would not be good. I'm guessing neither of you really know where you headed in life (career, college, etc.) which is why it's better at around 22, when she will be 19 (either in college or working) and you'll be 22 (either in college or working). By then people have some sense of where they are headed, even if they aren't entirely sure who they are yet (which is ironic but that's another story).

 

[blue_ladybug]

keep in mind the saying, "15 gets you 20." as in years in jail. Listen to the advice the other posters here have given..leave her alone for now. Don't contact her, don't hang out with her. Just tell her you both need to mature more first..

 

[Red_Tory]

So she is 14/15 and I am 17 as you can see

Hmmmmmmm?

 

[jakayden2]

Honestly bro.... if u like her then id just check if she likes u back theres no harm knowing right?And if she doesnt like u then theres a chance u could get over her... but if she does like u then it doesnt mean u have to act on it right? So anyways i actually found this really cute man. Lols. But yea i think u should just pray about it more and just wait. U never knw what god has in store for us so just be patient and if she does like u then best advice .... ummm...think about whats best for both of u guys and keep god in mind at all times $tay $trong and sorry for the late message. I saw this thread and had to say something tho. Peace out ghee.. X)

 

[lumberjack]

. Any advices in the matter?....

I'm not sure if it's even possible for a straight guy to be just friends with a girl,
so take my advice and step away from that [underage] girl.

 

[blue_ladybug]

She's 14 or 15,and you're 17.. you shouldn't associate with children. That's what she is, a child. She's underage and much too young to even date. Leave her alone and find someone your own age.

 

[soccermom19]

Leave it alone for now. If it is meant to be, you will still feel the same way when she turns 18. Then, you may proceed to date her if you both wish. For now, seek to date Christians your own age.

 

[NateDaGrimes]

I'm not sure if it's even possible for a straight guy to be just friends with a girl,
so take my advice and step away from that [underage] girl.

Its possible, I have a friend who is another girl in my youth group whom I talk to a bit, yet I am not attracted to her even though she is too a freshman.

 

[lumberjack]

Its possible, I have a friend who is another girl in my youth group whom I talk to a bit, yet I am not attracted to her even though she is too a freshman.

See, that's the difference:
you've already "rated" her and decided you're not attracted to her,
something you would NEVER do that with your male friends, probably.

 

[inthewind]

[h=1]Ecclesiastes 11:9[/h]



[h=2]Rejoice, O young man, in thy youth; and let thy heart cheer thee in the days of thy youth, and walk in the ways of thine heart, and in the sight of thine eyes: but know thou, that for all these things God will bring thee into judgment.[/h]

 

[lumberjack]

Ecclesiastes 11:9





Rejoice, O young man, in thy youth; and let thy heart cheer thee in the days of thy youth, and walk in the ways of thine heart, and in the sight of thine eyes: but know thou, that for all these things God will bring thee into judgment.

"for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" [Romans 3:23]

ALL

 

[Gble]

Hi Nate, I often have the same situation. I used to struggle with men but when I've learned this, I can now easily deal with it. You see, God has given us emotions, so it means, it is normal to have feelings with other people. It becomes a struggle when you try to stop or feed your emotions. so rather than doing one of those things, bounce it to God. "Lord, this is how I feel..." like that. The result will be, you will get closer to God. In your case, that you are close with her, my friends also keep on telling me that it is not really healthy to be super close with an opposite sex because the tendency is you'll fall. Im not saying that you should avoid her, I'm saying that a MAN should GUARD HIS HEART, not just his heart but also the women's heart. You are still young, enjoy your season. Seek God more. =) hope I helped.

PS. We have the same age.

 

[Jimbone]

I understand the age dilemma very well. Me and my currentwife were the exact same ages when we got together. As a matter of fact I was18 for 3 weeks while she was 15 too, but at these ages you’re so close it can’tbe considered pedophilia legally (unless her father is a cop or someone withpull in the system and hates you). That said I felt the same way for a coupleweeks anyway. Now having now been with my wife for more than 17 years now andhaving been with each other longer in life than we were NOT with each other Ican honestly say I don’t regret a thing. If this is God’s plan it will work,and I honestly wish you both the best.

 

[Jimbone]

I understand the age dilemma very well. Me and my currentwife were the exact same ages when we got together. As a matter of fact I was18 for 3 weeks while she was 15 too, but at these ages you’re so close it can’tbe considered pedophilia legally (unless her father is a cop or someone withpull in the system and hates you). That said I felt the same way for a coupleweeks anyway. Now having now been with my wife for more than 17 years now andhaving been with each other longer in life than we were NOT with each other Ican honestly say I don’t regret a thing. If this is God’s plan it will work,and I honestly wish you both the best.

Edit: Dang I missed the 14 part somehow. That makes it a little harder if she's that much younger at this time in your lives. I think the advice to just take it slow an wait until she is a little older is pretty good. I was really just judgeing it from my own exsperiance at first but we were really only 2 years apart, if she had been a year younger I may have never even went that route honestly. Good luck with whatever you decide brother.