Introverted/Extroverted Misconceptions

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M

MollyConnor

Guest
#41
#41
I'm introverted and my brother is extroverted. So I grew up thinking that being extroverted was the best! But I'm slowly starting to accept that this is the way God made me. Family and friends think that I'm mad or don't want to talk. My brother, on the other hand, can easily strike up a conversation with people. He's seen as friendly and sweet and of course he is but I'm not mean myself.

So I wish people could see that I am a nice person, it's just that I'm shy and value my time alone. Also, when I try to talk to people, (I live in an apartment and I sometimes try to smile or say hi to my neighbors if they are walking around) they sometimes don't answer. I think I have a very low, soft voice. Part of it is insecurity and part of it is just my natural voice.

Quick question: Do you think it's okay for a lady to be a little shy? I mean isn't it wrong for a woman to be too talkative to the point where men might get the wrong idea? I've just noticed some of the girls at school who are very friendly (and I love that about them) but the guys get the wrong idea and immediately think she's available to sleep with them or wants to be with them. It's pretty gross and I know this because (since I'm shy) most people just talk near me and they don't even acknowledge that I'm there and they carry on with their conversations. So I've heard quite a few guys talking about the friendly girl in that way. It's really sad!
 
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JesusLives

JesusLives

Senior Member
#42
Oct 11, 2013
14,554
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#42
seoulsearch said:
Forget all the those IMJN, etc., etc. personality tests!!!

This chart tells us all we need to know.

Apparently, I would qualify as an Obnoxious Introvert who can sometimes masquerade as an Obnoxious Extrovert who pretends to be Shy when I am forced to be around people who are draining my life away.

The fact that I waver back and forth between both must mean I am living up to my ideal of always trying to be open-minded and flexible. :p
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You are hysterical.....lol
 
J

JustAnotherUser

Guest
#43
#43
There's definitely a lot of misconceptions that are too long to list and type up. But introverts live off of less interaction than extroverts do and both sides are content with whichever they go under. Whether that means of one not checking up on others often is more of an individual type of thing since due to the complexity of how each person works with more or less and the reason behind it makes a lot of a difference. Introverts get mixed in with shyness and anxious people to which those who say they're introverted may even have a hard time telling the difference on how they respond to interaction and why. Then there's misconceptions of those who speak less, often as if they appear stuck up or that they're not welcoming to other people. Studies have been done to where there is a difference in brain activity among the two and why each need more or less of interaction and being alone.
 
gypsygirl

gypsygirl

Senior Member
#46
Sep 19, 2012
1,394
60
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#46
i just thought of two more extroverted misunderstandings i get:

1) on the occasion i don't feel all that chatty, people think something is wrong or i'm upset. and don't believe me when i tell them i'm fine.

2) people assume i'm a lot more confident and self-assured than i actually am. : )

mollyconnor: it's perfectly acceptable to be exactly who you are. and don't ever feel the need to "alter your personality" so that a guy won't misconstrue things about you. unfortunately, it's impossible to prevent being guys making assumptions about you, and you really can't worry about that. plus, it's their fault if they're foolish to assume things about a girl on the basis of her personality or if she's friendly/talkative. : )
 
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C

cmarieh

Guest
#47
#47
gypsygirl said:
i just thought of two more extroverted misunderstandings i get:

1) on the occasion i don't feel all that chatty, people think something is wrong or i'm upset. and don't believe me when i tell them i'm fine.

2) people assume i'm a lot more confident and self-assured than i actually am. : )
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I get that all the time too. Thank you for bringing this up.
 
kodiak

kodiak

Senior Member
#48
Mar 8, 2015
4,995
290
83
#48
MollyConnor said:
I'm introverted and my brother is extroverted. So I grew up thinking that being extroverted was the best! But I'm slowly starting to accept that this is the way God made me. Family and friends think that I'm mad or don't want to talk. My brother, on the other hand, can easily strike up a conversation with people. He's seen as friendly and sweet and of course he is but I'm not mean myself.

So I wish people could see that I am a nice person, it's just that I'm shy and value my time alone. Also, when I try to talk to people, (I live in an apartment and I sometimes try to smile or say hi to my neighbors if they are walking around) they sometimes don't answer. I think I have a very low, soft voice. Part of it is insecurity and part of it is just my natural voice.

Quick question: Do you think it's okay for a lady to be a little shy? I mean isn't it wrong for a woman to be too talkative to the point where men might get the wrong idea? I've just noticed some of the girls at school who are very friendly (and I love that about them) but the guys get the wrong idea and immediately think she's available to sleep with them or wants to be with them. It's pretty gross and I know this because (since I'm shy) most people just talk near me and they don't even acknowledge that I'm there and they carry on with their conversations. So I've heard quite a few guys talking about the friendly girl in that way. It's really sad!
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I like being an introvert...My sister is more outgoing than me, and we get along great. I remember the highschool I graduated from, everyone knew me and knew I was an introvert. They gave me space and would talk if I wanted to talk...I think it all depends on people's views of introverts and extroverts...I may have been named most shy in my graduating class....It is sad to see the guys do that, I don't understand it at all...
 
Calmador

Calmador

Senior Member
#49
Jun 23, 2011
948
43
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#49
hoss2576 said:
I was having a discussion with my girlfriend last night and had asked her how a mutual friend was doing. She said the friend was fine, but seemed shocked that I was asking about him. Admittedly, I will ask her to check on how people are doing, because she is more of an extrovert and seems to be friends with everybody. I am not someone who will call you up and say, "hey haven't seen you in church in awhile," but I will notice it.

Our friend's reaction made me wonder if there are other misconceptions people have because I come across as introverted. Did my introversion make it seem like I didn't care? Could people just think I wasn't interested? Then I started to think about CC, and all of the folks here who talk about being introverted.

Do you think there are any misconceptions about you because you are introverted? If you are extroverted, are there misconceptions that you routinely encounter? How do you address them when they happen?
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We does not equal I

Are there misconceptions of introvertism... absolutely.There's probably at least one person out there with misconceptions. But I'm guessing you mean if the misconceptions are extremely wide-spread... I don't know. I'd have to ask everyone. lol

When you address a misconception... in general.. I think one good way is to ask, "Are you okay?" An apology might help that person feel more at ease too with reality crashing on him/her. "I'm sorry, did I do something wrong?" Also, you can let them know I guess if your guessing rightly about the situation... and say, "I asked about your friend because I haven't seen him at church as often."
 
melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#50
Aug 12, 2011
10,460
2,682
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#50
i'm an introvert. like a boss lol
 
J

jennymae

Guest
#52
#52
Sometimes I'm an extrovert and at times I'm an introvert...depends on the moods I guess.
 
S

Sugarplum

Guest
#54
#54
I consider myself an ambivert because I do know i like to talk people when they are alone like me .. I like to go to chat room regularly but I am not always chat and randomly speak on micro or camera. I like to meet some cool people with similar interests but I am cautious in friendship I choose that God leads me. I enjoy going to parties and being with a rather large group of people, but I am also very content at home alone watching good shows ,cooking some new experiments in kitchens,doing art work, work out at the gym at nights (less crowded),reading a book. Given the choice on a lazy Sunday afternoon, I'd rather be home with a book or computer .:eek:
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#55
Mar 26, 2014
4,414
2,405
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#55
zeroturbulence said:

In a nutshell..

Leave

them

alone.

(..and they'll be just fine)
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Unless you decide to spring a sudden change on them… Then prepare for a minor meltdown while they adjust to the idea (then it's okay, really it is).
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#58
Aug 13, 2014
26,702
8,941
113
#58
According to gypsygirl's chart I'm a mixed up mess. I came in about evenly split between introvert and extrovert.

I guess I'm just me.
 
gypsygirl

gypsygirl

Senior Member
#59
Sep 19, 2012
1,394
60
48
#59
i'm concerned about these "introvert-themed" memes and jokes making light of and celebrating being anti-social. the reason it bothers me is because i think it might be perpetuating the notion that it's acceptable to choose to be people-avoidant and minimizing/devaluing the importance of both believers and the unsaved in our lives.

i get that some introverts don't want to social butterflies. but my question would be, how can you possibly fulfill God's purpose in your life absent of people?

something about all the "leave me alone" messages that are designed to speak to the introvert's plight seem to directly contradict the biblical instruction/wisdom.



Lynx said:
According to gypsygirl's chart I'm a mixed up mess. I came in about evenly split between introvert and extrovert.

I guess I'm just me.
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the chart is a guideline, helpful for those who already have a understanding of the fundamental components of mbti personality type indicator. you're not a mixed up mess, at least no more than anyone else. few people are lacking exceptions, as almost all of us aren't ALL one way, or entirely predisposed to prefer all the criteria that are associated with one type.

further, one of my pet peeves is the misnomer that all introverts are shy and all extroverts are obnoxious, and the chart was designed to specifically speak to that.

if you're actually interested in learning more about your personality and preferences, here are a few links that might help:

an mbti thread that i think was just before your time

one of the better mbti indicator tests that is pretty short

 
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melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#60
Aug 12, 2011
10,460
2,682
113
#60
cinder said:
Unless you decide to spring a sudden change on them… Then prepare for a minor meltdown while they adjust to the idea (then it's okay, really it is).
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true story with me lol although i have my meltdown on the inside while i'm "okay" on the outside lol
 
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