Introverted/Extroverted Misconceptions

cinder · Apr 12, 2015

I think the big challenge I have as an introvert is people who assume that if I don't want to hang out with them I must be upset with them over something. And people who can't understand that if I want to do something I'll just go do it, I don't need to bring other people along (or feel the need to tag along with a group doing something I don't care to do just to "be part of the group"). I think the other challenge is when extroverts try to make introverts feel like they are weird, different, unusual. There are lots of introverts out there, they just aren't "out there" because they'd rather be holed up in their homes on their computers.

The converse of this is that I usually find extroverts shallow and don't believe they really care about me because usually i feel like I'm just another warm body for them to interact with. You have to put some time and exclusive focus in with introverts to get them to open up.

Roh_Chris · Apr 12, 2015

Tintin said:

Haha, I remember those days.

cinder said:

Not all extroverts are shallow, sis. The ones who also have an introvert side can be quite deep.

MadParrotWoman · Apr 12, 2015

Introvert, I enjoy my own company and prefer a few close friends to a crowd of acquaintances. I don't speak well in public and so I do a lot online. I do enjoy one to one conversation though but start adding more to the conversation and I will slink into the background and observe what others have to say. I wish I were more outgoing and I was when I was younger but I think it's largely a confidence issue. when I get to know people though I am very tactile sometimes touching and even hugging during conversation and I love deeply.

There are some amazing folks here on CC, some of whom I have grown very fond of but if I came face to face with them I would be shy until the conversation got going. I think the internet is a bit of a cop-out and I don't think it's conducive to resolving all the issues I have.

egeiro · Apr 12, 2015

I was more introverted when I was younger, but over time I have adapted and gained many extroverted skills. At the end of the day I am still 'introverted' and find myself misunderstood constantly.

When it comes to group contexts, especially with new people, people may assume I am the life of the party because I get excited and very honest and love creating a cheerful atmosphere for people to get along in. But the fact is, things like this tire me out quite quickly and I need to quickly re-charge my batteries.

When I started going to this new large church on Friday nights, I gathered other new comers with me and formed a 'Newbies' club in which I introduced all the new people together and hugged them and kept making super hero poses because I kept declaring how awesome we all were and my silly side seemed to make people comfortable. We then encouraged each other and built each other up in confidence to reach out to more people once that comfort zone was laid out. But more often than not, people assume this is me all the time where as it is not.

As much as I love people, the only amount I can give is so much before I burn out. I have a very extroverted friend whose ideal friendship requires many texts a day, catch up 3 times a week, and she needs to know everything about everyone's activity on facebook. All I can give her is a catch up coffee once every two weeks for 2 hours of straight deep and meaningful. I love interacting with people, but what makes me feel connected is deep and meaningful moments every now and then.

Also, I find it quite hard being a kindergarten teacher. I am super passionate about my job but I have to really give it my all to do what is required. Not only am I tired from the physical requirements, but being needed by so many little ones can be taxing. At the end of the day, I arrive home and don't talk to anyone for the first 30 minutes to re-charge.

I've had to explain straight up to many people, "Look, I love you as a friend, but this is all I can give." and as hard as it has been to feel like I'm not giving enough on my side of the friendship, I've had to come to terms with my design and my personality.

I have so much to give in this life, and I love connecting with people, deeply, but the only way I can give is if I'm filled up to begin with, and that means I have to often meet up with that quiet place to be everything God has made me to be.

cinder · Apr 12, 2015

Roh_Chris said:

So did you just confirm my prejudice or debunk it? If it takes an introvert side to be deep then doesn't that imply that extroversion makes a person shallow? Are you on my side or not confusing bear?

Since the thread is titled misconceptions, I will add that what I stated previously were what I consider to be misconceptions in my own perceptions. I'll grant that extroversion does not automatically make a person shallow, it just makes it more difficult for me to connect with their deeper side.

CatHerder · Apr 12, 2015

Here is an introvert sweater for all my fellow CC introvert friends.

I am what the experts who make up facebook quizzes call an "outgoing introvert." Figure that one out.

zeroturbulence · Apr 12, 2015

introvert

noun
: a shy person : a quiet person who does not find it easy to talk to other people

(merriam-webster dictionary)

Anything else is not an introvert!

I was an introvert long before being an introvert was cool!

Lynx · Apr 12, 2015

I can't really say I've run into misconceptions as a result of being introverted or extroverted because I can't really say I'm one or the other. I'm neither introvert nor extrovert. I'm me. I have some personality traits that people would label "introvert" and some people would label "extrovert." I label them "label makers." People occasionally misunderstand what I say or do, but I find misunderstandings are usually caused by lack of information and a good explanation often clears things up.

sassylady · Apr 12, 2015

I have had problems all my life due to being introverted. I'm considered a snob, I don't care, I'm not interested, etc. But when somebody actually takes the time to get to know me they find there is not a heartless cold person there. As I have gotten older I don't much care anymore what people think, but it used to bother me tremendously when I was younger, especially in school. I get the same thing at work but yet I'll be the first person somebody comes to for help so I think the quietness is disturbing on one hand but they do know I'm not an old grump they can't approach.

MadParrotWoman · Apr 12, 2015

sassylady said:

I have had problems all my life due to being introverted. I'm considered a snob, I don't care, I'm not interested, etc. But when somebody actually takes the time to get to know me they find there is not a heartless cold person there. As I have gotten older I don't much care anymore what people think, but it used to bother me tremendously when I was younger, especially in school. I get the same thing at work but yet I'll be the first person somebody comes to for help so I think the quietness is disturbing on one hand but they do know I'm not an old grump they can't approach.

I like your style sassylady and I get you.

kodiak · Apr 12, 2015

VioletReigns said:

This thread needed another owl, right? I am introverted....It makes it harder to make friends, but my friends understand...I don't know what others think, and I dont really care.

JesusLives · Apr 12, 2015

MadParrotWoman said:

Maybe not solving the problem, but you sure have made a friend of the Blond and I would not let you be too shy with me as I would give you a big hug upon site and just start talking your ear off......lol We would have a blast together.

JesusLives · Apr 12, 2015

CatHerder said:

Cute sweater...... I will take two......one for me and tourist......but I see there is a hole to talk through so I'm good.....lol

Never Mind I see that it is a regular sweater they have put on a little awkwardly...... Blond goes in search of sweater to give this a try....lol

gypsygirl · Apr 12, 2015

i'm fascinated by what so many seem to assume about personality and their associated "qualities". this was an interesting topic, hoss. : )

as a few people have made reference to, i can relate to identifying with both introversion and extroversion.

when i was in college, i tested as a high extrovert. i now am a mild extrovert. and one thing i've observed is that with age, often people tend to slide closer to the middle of the scale. thus, the introverts seem more at ease in "extroversion territory", and the extroverts tend to find greater value in the activities associated with "introversion".

as a result, when i'm around people, i tend to be "on" and can be extremely outgoing, "life of the party" and focus on the people around me. however, i too really need and value my alone time, and am very comfortable doing things alone or one-on-one.

i'm fascinated by the observation of "depth" viewed as a quality of introversion. well... so far from true. : )

as to the misconceptions i've personally experienced or heard from others about extroverts:

supposedly extroverts:

1) like to be the center of attention - i sure some do, but i'm not that way. i will "entertain" and certainly CAN take the lead in something when there is a need, but i'm really very happy simply being part of the group

2) are self-centered - again, i've never found a correlation between this and extro/introversion

3) like to always be around people - even when i was a very high extrovert, i enjoyed alone time

4) never get shy or embarrassed by attention

5) can't go to the movies alone, and are always on the go. can't be content staying home.

i know that most people around me tend to think that i prefer to be around people or that i am never shy or awkward around people. however, i think i just have a good cover that tends to belie my insecurities and awkwardness. i am pretty easily embarrassed as well - more often than most would probably guess.

also, i really don't enjoy or want to be around people all the time. in fact, i'm fiercely protective of my time, and have gotten pretty stubborn about giving it up for things that i don't find a priority. as much as i enjoy entertaining, and gatherings, i have a strong desire to make authentic individual connections. i've always leaned towards a lot of acquaintance-friends and a small handful of very deep friendships.

MadParrotWoman · Apr 12, 2015

JesusLives said:

Yes I feel sure we would have a blast. I can be brought out of myself by the right people. God bless you JL

Roh_Chris · Apr 12, 2015

cinder said:

I debunked your perception but it came out wrong. So I am not going to clarify because I am now confused myself.

gypsygirl · Apr 12, 2015

i'm sharing this primarily because i think there are some myths about intro/extroversion. also, to help point out that there are a lot of shades of gray. not all introverts are shy, and not all extroverts are obnoxious. : )

i wouldn't call this representative of the jungian interpretation of intro/extroversion, but there's truth here.

seoulsearch · Apr 12, 2015

Forget all the those IMJN, etc., etc. personality tests!!!

This chart tells us all we need to know.

Apparently, I would qualify as an Obnoxious Introvert who can sometimes masquerade as an Obnoxious Extrovert who pretends to be Shy when I am forced to be around people who are draining my life away.

The fact that I waver back and forth between both must mean I am living up to my ideal of always trying to be open-minded and flexible.

seoulsearch · Apr 12, 2015

Drat. I forgot to emphasize my post with a good healthy dose of @(#&@@^*$!! and "What the %&$*#@!!!"

There.

I feel much better now that I've Extrovertly expressed my Shy, inner Obnoxious Introvert.

JesusLives · Apr 12, 2015

Roh_Chris said:

Have you been hanging around the Blond too much?.....lol

Introverted/Extroverted Misconceptions

Senior Member

Senior Member

MadParrotWoman

Guest

Senior Member

Senior Member

Senior Member

Senior Member

Folksy yet erudite

sassylady

Guest

MadParrotWoman

Guest

Senior Member

Senior Member

Senior Member

Senior Member

MadParrotWoman

Guest

Senior Member

Senior Member

OutWrite Trouble

OutWrite Trouble

Senior Member