Sister Skylove, I had serious separation anxiety when my oldest son left home to join the USAF in 1995. We had a wonderful heart-to-heart before he left and everything was cool, until the recruiter led him away from me. It was as if life was slowly ripping my heart out of my chest. My other two children had to help me to the car to drive home, I was sobbing that much.
My son loved space and military aircraft as much as I did and decided in the 4th grade that he was going to join the Air Force. He was getting his wish that day and I was happy for him, but heartbroken for me. So at home I played Pink Floyd's "Cluster One" over & over and just lay on my bed and cried my heart out till I had no more tears left. I missed him so badly!
But every time he called home, I mustered up all the joy and exuberance I could in the Lord and praised & encouraged him for his devotion to God & our country. After his basic training was completed, he said, "Mom, thank you for all the times you encouraged me on the phone. I could hear in your voice that you were smiling a me." (I'll never forget that!)
He had no idea that as soon as we hung up, I would throw myself across the bed crying my heart out again and praying for him.
LOL
I got a letter from the Dept of the Air Force a few years later congratulating me on my son's "exemplary service" (he moved up the ranks really fast!) and that in an essay, my son had named me his biggest hero. There's nothing on earth as great a gift as your own children giving you praise for their life. ♥