Relationship advice

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S

Shine

Guest
#21
#21
@ Sportygirl


There is something that stands out for me in your character, that is the love you showed(or have) for this guy. I'm very sorry that you ended up breaking up but my wish is that your patience and consideration persist even as you grow older. I know that this may not be that consoling enough but that's some priceless attribute you have there. Reading some of the replies prior to the break up some people were already pessimistic of the love the guy had for you just because you pointed out that he was having difficulties in dealing with his own loss(or whatever issues he has).

That scares me when it comes from Christians. Are we insinuating that when a person has other issues hindering their full commitment in a relationship they are not capable of love.

But thankfully you tried to stick to the guy through thick and thin. I just wish that He understands what He has lost. Rough patches seem to trail everyone just try to maintain your principles. May your resolve in love be reinforced by God.

God bless.
 
C

ClimbingUpward

Guest
#22
#22
Hey Sportygirl,
Sort out issues first then try relationship if it's God's plan for you both. maybe you could suggest to him that he gets some help ie, counselling and/or ministry, he can work through the stuff in his life that's making things difficult for him.
 
B

BellaFlor

Guest
#23
#23
Shine said:
@ Sportygirl


There is something that stands out for me in your character, that is the love you showed(or have) for this guy. I'm very sorry that you ended up breaking up but my wish is that your patience and consideration persist even as you grow older. I know that this may not be that consoling enough but that's some priceless attribute you have there. Reading some of the replies prior to the break up some people were already pessimistic of the love the guy had for you just because you pointed out that he was having difficulties in dealing with his own loss(or whatever issues he has).

That scares me when it comes from Christians. Are we insinuating that when a person has other issues hindering their full commitment in a relationship they are not capable of love.

But thankfully you tried to stick to the guy through thick and thin. I just wish that He understands what He has lost. Rough patches seem to trail everyone just try to maintain your principles. May your resolve in love be reinforced by God.

God bless.
Click to expand...
I agree with this too. :)

Sportygirl, you are a very strong character in God. Having His Love in you, can truly break through everything. Because having Love is the strongest one can have in life, Love is as strong as death. Just keep yourself close to God. *Comforting Hug*
 
S

sportygirl

Guest
#24
#24
Thanks all for your support, I know focusing on God's love and really giving him the control in my life is going to be a HUGE step for me. Ive been reading a book that has seriously helped, and although now im scared that I wont find another good christian guy, I know this is a fear I need to get past, and that I need to give that up to God. It's just hard.
 
P

PRAIASEmyGOD

Guest
#25
#25
here are a couple of bible verses,

for your insecurity

proverbs 19:22

"kindness makes a man attractive."

1 peter 3:3-4

"don't be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on jewelry, or beautiful clothes, or hair arrangement. Be beautiful inside, in your hearts, with lasting charm of a gentle and quiet spirit that is so precious to god

and this is for your realationship

1 Corinthians 13:3-7, 13:


If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing. Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! But when full understanding comes, these partial things will become useless.
When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.
Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.






I pray for you and your boyfriend the best of our heavenly father!
 
J

jonnoboy

Guest
#26
#26
Hello Sporty Girl, how are you today?

I know its a late reply and things may have sorted themselves out by now, i dnt want to sound harsh, but if he is unable to love you then..........why are together, i mean you sound (from what i have read) like you really want to make a go of this but (although i dnt know ur bf) he just seems.....i dunno maybe its the way you wrote it but it sorta made me cross when reading its not really a excuse becos his dad died that he is unable to love really is it because then what the heck is he doing with you if he "cant" love???? look sorry if this seems rude especailly as i dont know him but i hope things have worked out ok with you both ;)

Much Love

jonno
 
A

asamanthinketh

Guest
#27
#27
i don't know you well and so can not speak exactly and directly to you but i can speak in general and from experience

friendship first is almost always the better way to go, because a true friend will love you at all times. they may have a few mistakes but they will honor your body, honor your heart, honor and respect that you are comfortable and not comfortable with certain things and that you are and growing and changing young girl who will be different 5, 10 years from now

if you see potential in this, want it to continue, or are now so connected that you would be breaking your spirit or dishonoring the Lord, whatever your faith is at this moment, then do not seek comfort or counsel in another guy

work through this with one another, find commonalities, things that will bind and bond you two together, having a common purpose, similar things you like and are called to in this world, value each other

i highly recommend unless you feel that you are a grown woman capable of making her own decisions i highly recommed keeping sex out of it as long as possible

when you are 80, yes you might have fond memories of things you did in your youth, but choose wisely what you give your energy to, make sure it is worthwhile, because there are some people in this world who are only takers

sportygirl said:
Hi there, I have a relationship issue and dont really have anyone i feel comfortable going to to talk about it, since they all know him as well. So if anyone is willing to give some help that would be lovely and prayer is always welcome.(sorry its kind of long)

Well my boyfriend and i have started going through a rough part in our relationship we've been together 9 months and have started realizing some stuff about ourselves that is affecting our relationship. We both want to work through the things together and not apart but overall its kind of complicated. His issues deal with being unable to love because of a barrior he put up years ago after his fathers sudden death. Mine deal with some insecurities although I have been praying for these and have been getting better, and also continuing to but God first in my life.

We have agreeded that the friendship side of our relationship is what we want to develop right now, adn want to do a bible study together starting after break. But Im wondering if there is anything else we can do to help strengthen our relationship even though were in a difficult spot.
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A

asamanthinketh

Guest
#28
#28
for youth you sure have alot of wisdom
protect it guard it, keep gaining and giving, but be careful who you give to
wisdom will protect you if you follow it
wisdom will even help you heal someone
PRAIASEmyGOD said:
here are a couple of bible verses,

for your insecurity

proverbs 19:22

"kindness makes a man attractive."

1 peter 3:3-4

"don't be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on jewelry, or beautiful clothes, or hair arrangement. Be beautiful inside, in your hearts, with lasting charm of a gentle and quiet spirit that is so precious to god

and this is for your realationship

1 Corinthians 13:3-7, 13:


If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing. Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! But when full understanding comes, these partial things will become useless.
When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.
Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.






I pray for you and your boyfriend the best of our heavenly father!
Click to expand...
 
S

squidmike

Banned
#29
Jan 13, 2010
98
0
0
#29
I hope you are doing better than you were before,because someone like you to give him every chance to come through for you,you are a very rare person indeed. Because for you to be so giving there is a tendency to focus on giving instead of giving heed to how he is treating you. Is he putting your needs before his own?or is he putting his own needs before yours?God will help you discern this if you ask for his help,may God bless you
 
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