Ok so I need some advise about dating. First off me and my girlfriend have been dating for 3 years. She is 21 and I am 22, and we are both in college. We recently got engaged over Christmas break and I felt so confident with my decision. Lately I have been having second thoughts. One reason is I have never dated anyone else, and I am no longer sure she is the one for me. In a way I feel like I am missing out, but at the same time I am scared that I might be wrong. I have been praying like crazy, but I don't feel like I am getting an answer from God. I don't know if I should ask her to put everything on hold, but I don't know how to tell her that I want to date other people, and I also feel like it's a little late to be doing so. I also do not want to loose her if I am wrong. I am just completely lost and I don't know what to do.
Alright, I'm in cold hard facts mode today:
1) Marriage is a huge commitment. If it doesn't intimidate you a little bit, there's a problem. Those are some pretty daunting vows you're going to be making.
2) There can be a lot of both internal and external pressure to get engaged in your last year of college, especially if you've been dating for a while. It would be good to ask yourself the hard questions of whether you really want to marry this girl or if you are grabbing for some sort of stability in transition by getting engaged? Is your relationship still running on love and commitment or is it more inertia and it's just more peaceful to maintain the relationship than break it off? When you're considering the rest of your lives, these are important questions to ask.
3) The fear of missing out can and probably will cause you to miss out. Every choice is a limitation, even the choice to sit and wait for something better which may or may not exist. And if you're always waiting for a better option, you're never going to go anywhere.
4) Take it from the older singles around here (or go visit the singles forum), once you get out of college and all the young adult support structures, it's harder to find quality Christian singles to be potential dates and partners. If you've found a wonderful young lady that you know well and think you can build a life together, and being married and having a family is something you know you desire; don't throw it away because of personal insecurity or groundless fears. If you're a list maker feel free to make a list of reasons to marry her and potential challenges you can see that make you not want to marry her. There is no biblical support for the idea that God made just one person for you so you don't need to be afraid of choosing wrong. Use all the wisdom you have to choose a good marriage partner, but after you marry, you figure out how to make the marriage work. It doesn't just magically all work out in simplicity and ease, and challenges don't mean that you married the wrong person.
5) The end of college can be a pretty stressful time. If it is feasible it might be a good idea to put off any future relationship planning until after the end of the school year. If there's no reason that this has to be settled by the end of the school year, just let go until you've finished the school year and have fewer other things clamoring for your attention.
