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C
I've been checking up on this thread to see how it progresses, but haven't felt able to say anything til now.
First, I'm so sorry and sad for your situation
I'll be praying for you both.Second, as someone who has been through a divorce and dealt with my parent's divorce...I still am totally unqualified to give advice on the matter at hand!
Every situation is unique; every person has taken a different path to get to where they are now. Not a one of us is qualified to judge this situation and say, "Stay" or "Leave", but only to offer our love and support for a woman who needs it. My personal feelings on the matter are that any form of abuse should not be tolerated, and yet, abuse is something that CAN be stopped in a marriage, and the marriage CAN move forward to a healthier place.
Third, my personal feelings on the matter do not apply here.
Fourth, there is a time and place to quote scripture in place of giving advice or support. And now I'm going to quote some that seems totally appropriate:
John 3:16
16"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
You know what that means? It means, even in the case of divorce, even if that divorce is not 100% necessary, even if these people split up and remarry and both are believers...
God loves us. All of us. And those who believe in Him...will have eternal life. Divorced or not.
And no, I'm not saying that we should all go out and get married 5 times. I'm not condoning divorce. I'm just saying, it's not the end of the world.
I've been checking up on this thread to see how it progresses, but haven't felt able to say anything til now.
First, I'm so sorry and sad for your situation I'll be praying for you both.
Second, as someone who has been through a divorce and dealt with my parent's divorce...I still am totally unqualified to give advice on the matter at hand! Every situation is unique; every person has taken a different path to get to where they are now. Not a one of us is qualified to judge this situation and say, "Stay" or "Leave", but only to offer our love and support for a woman who needs it.
My personal feelings on the matter are that any form of abuse should not be tolerated, and yet, abuse is something that CAN be stopped in a marriage, and the marriage CAN move forward to a healthier place.
Third, my personal feelings on the matter do not apply here.
Fourth, there is a time and place to quote scripture in place of giving advice or support. And now I'm going to quote some that seems totally appropriate:
John 3:16
16"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
You know what that means? It means, even in the case of divorce, even if that divorce is not 100% necessary, even if these people split up and remarry and both are believers...
God loves us. All of us. And those who believe in Him...will have eternal life. Divorced or not.
And no, I'm not saying that we should all go out and get married 5 times. I'm not condoning divorce. I'm just saying, it's not the end of the world.
First, I'm so sorry and sad for your situation
I'll be praying for you both.Second, as someone who has been through a divorce and dealt with my parent's divorce...I still am totally unqualified to give advice on the matter at hand!
Every situation is unique; every person has taken a different path to get to where they are now. Not a one of us is qualified to judge this situation and say, "Stay" or "Leave", but only to offer our love and support for a woman who needs it. My personal feelings on the matter are that any form of abuse should not be tolerated, and yet, abuse is something that CAN be stopped in a marriage, and the marriage CAN move forward to a healthier place.
Third, my personal feelings on the matter do not apply here.
Fourth, there is a time and place to quote scripture in place of giving advice or support. And now I'm going to quote some that seems totally appropriate:
John 3:16
16"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
You know what that means? It means, even in the case of divorce, even if that divorce is not 100% necessary, even if these people split up and remarry and both are believers...
God loves us. All of us. And those who believe in Him...will have eternal life. Divorced or not.
And no, I'm not saying that we should all go out and get married 5 times. I'm not condoning divorce. I'm just saying, it's not the end of the world.
Amen to all of that!!! Well said.
T
well just to let all ya'll know. he says that he is saved. and he sure has everyone else believing it. but he is the one who has brought up "divorce" around 5 times in the last 2 months. yet im the one on the recieving end of his words. it is not physical abuse. we have been married about 9 months now and this is already happening. he changed the day we got married in to a man ive never met before. he is in NO WAY the man that i was just dating. the very day we got married i got cussed out because i "wasnt paying him enuf attention" at the reception.
C
I'm so sorry to hear that But, even with that information, it's still awfully hard for people who don't know you personally to advise you on what you should do. I mean, we don't know that he ISN'T saved...that's between him and God. Even those of us who are saved go through times when we don't act/speak as we know we should.
It's still no excuse for his behavior though (going off what you've told us, at least).
But because we aren't there with you, in your home, seeing what goes on, we are ill equipped to give any direction. And it's frustrating to me, because, based on how I know you must be feeling, I wish there was an easy fix for this, so you wouldn't be hurting anymore.
The only thing I can really offer at this point is to remind you that the Lord will not leave you to go through this alone; and whatever you decide, whether you stay or you leave, He will not abandon you.
You're still in my prayers.
T
I truly say what I said before pray to the Lord with all your heart until He shows you without a doubt what to do...That is what Christians are suppose to do in everything...if the Lord connected you in what is truly marriage than He will connect you still, if He didn't connect you in marriage, then He didn't even if you call it marriage or the law calls it marriage or whatever...
The Lord is the only one that can connect two souls in one body, it is not your will or your words or anything else than can create a true marriage.
Just pray until the Lord shows...I too am praying deeply for you
May the Lord enlighten your mind,
lighten your heart,
and brighten your eyes
so that you may see love and adore him.
May He calm you heart
still your mind
and quite your body
so that you may worship him in the splendor of his holiness
with your body always before him as a living sacrifice.
(by him, I mean the Lord)
tony
The Lord is the only one that can connect two souls in one body, it is not your will or your words or anything else than can create a true marriage.
Just pray until the Lord shows...I too am praying deeply for you
May the Lord enlighten your mind,
lighten your heart,
and brighten your eyes
so that you may see love and adore him.
May He calm you heart
still your mind
and quite your body
so that you may worship him in the splendor of his holiness
with your body always before him as a living sacrifice.
(by him, I mean the Lord)
tony
I agree. Separate yourself from him, pray and seek his face about what God would have you do. However I do not like the fact that you openly condemn someone in a forum.. If you do not like what they say or how someone says something tell them in a mail... not on a forum condemning them. This goes for all forums...
I am a single and divorced mother, from an emotionally abusive and physically abusive ex husband who I made two chidren with. Here is my take. God will still love you, he will forgive you for choosing an ungodly partner, I believe he will allow divorce for these reasons? but are you going to go to hell for it? no. The reason God hates divorce is because it tears up a family, it hurts children. In my case, I was able to take my children from a dangerous home and they are much happier and safer than when they were in the environment they were in. People have ALL kinds of views on this issue, my view, if you need to leave go to God, he will give you wisdom and he will forgive you, even if he wants you to stay. That is my take.
Sorry, but I feel called by God to say this to you right now. If you do not have children in this union, praise the Lord for that. GET OUT as soon as you can. This abuse will only get worse. I am speaking from experience. I also work as a domestic violence counselor for the LAPD and trust me, I have seen how this impacts the children. GET OUT while you can. God will forgive you for making such a dumb choice for a partner. CHOOSE wisely next time.
1Cr 7:12But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her1Cr 7:13And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him.1Cr 7:14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.1Cr 7:15But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such [cases]. But God has called us to peace.im thinking, if a wife is getting beat up every other day, and spit on. I don't think she needs to stick around to die. People go to shelters to protect there kids from abuse from a spouse and for them selves. God wants us to protect our children, im sure with abuse of a physical nature involved, we are free to leave. also, what about the unbeliving spouse like the verses above speak? so it says we are not under bondage. But if its just troubles in marriage you two are just having, take it before the Lord, even adultery is forgiven if the spouse so chooses to. There is always forgivness. but marriage is a touchy subject, and one between the husband and the wife and God. So take it to the Lord and get Godley counsel perhaps from the church.
J
Is this the worst it could be? Because marriage is "for better or for worse." There's no safety for either party to make a vow for better or worse, til death do us part, if when it gets bad someone bails out. I'm not saying it's not hard, because it is REALLY hard and painful. But marriage reflects how God relates to the church. God doesn't bail out on us when we are verbally and emotionally abusive to Him. Granted, He is God. I see others recommending you pray about it and maybe God will let you out. I think you should pray, yes, but keep in mind that God's not going to change His word. He's not going to say, "Well, yeah, My word says this and that, but I'm going to make an exception for you." If He starts making exceptions then what part of the word can we trust? None of it. So yeah, it sucks you're in this painful relationship, but divorce probably isn't the answer.
The Bible does give instruction for when one spouse is a believer and the other isn't, and what to do. You have the power to open the door for God to change your husband, by how you extend your love. Does the phrase "heap burning coals on his head" ring a bell?
I recommend: "Created to be His Helpmeet" by Debi Pearl. Many marriages survive today becuase of it. Or, go on a Family Life Marriage Conference. I've heard of couples on the brink of divorce being completely changed after the conference.
The Bible does give instruction for when one spouse is a believer and the other isn't, and what to do. You have the power to open the door for God to change your husband, by how you extend your love. Does the phrase "heap burning coals on his head" ring a bell?
I recommend: "Created to be His Helpmeet" by Debi Pearl. Many marriages survive today becuase of it. Or, go on a Family Life Marriage Conference. I've heard of couples on the brink of divorce being completely changed after the conference.