Online friend

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Sirk said:
im not trying to be mean but it seems like you have idealized this guy to sainthood.
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That could be true...I never met him and he never was really real with me and he was my only friend so I guess I kinda built up this image in my mind that wasn't him. I aknowledge that and I'm sifting through what was him and what was just my imagination.
 
I think I also idolized our friendship because I was so confused about the spiritual aspect and we both thought (or he said he thought) it was God so I was really excited to see what big amazing thing was going to come of it. The possibilities were endless! I wanted so badly to see God work and then....nothing...
 
JFSurvivor said:
That could be true...I never met him and he never was really real with me and he was my only friend so I guess I kinda built up this image in my mind that wasn't him. I aknowledge that and I'm sifting through what was him and what was just my imagination.
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It's normal for people to idealize someone when you lose them....either thru death or lost relationship. I think it's something we just need to be aware of so that we are truthful with ourselves about things.
 
Sirk said:
It's normal for people to idealize someone when you lose them....either thru death or lost relationship. I think it's something we just need to be aware of so that we are truthful with ourselves about things.
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So what do I do?
 
JFSurvivor said:
So what do I do?
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I guess I don't really have an answer for you besides mourning the loss. Recognizing that it hurts, specifically what you feelings are....rejection, less than, disregarded etc and bring it to the cross. Be honest with Jesus about how you feel and pray it out to Him. Jesus said...blessed are they who mourn for they will be comforted. Maybe this is opportunity for you to learn how to mourn in a way that is healthy for you.
 
UPDATE

Today has been easier but still not to where I want to be. I ran out of things to do so I'm here missing him again....I did good for the beginning of the day though! :-)
 
Hey you made it through the first half which definetly is a start. The pain and loss won't go way in day. Maybe not even a week. But just like it's been said. Give it to god, I could do what I can to comfort and support you but we both know Jesus is the ultimate healer
 
JFSurvivor said:
So there's this guy I used to know...his name is Brian...he lives all the way on the other side of the country from me. We had an online friendship for about 4 years and things were great at first then he stopped caring and didn't respond as much then he stopped responding all together. It really hurt because he was my ONLY friend at the time.

Also how we met was really weird too. I was at my computer and at the time I had AIM. The thing with AIM was you couldn't send a message unless it had something written in the text box. AIM was basically an instant messenger, So I was at my computer and this blank IM box comes up. It was ******** (like I'm gonna give out his screen name). Here is what happened:

Me: hi
Him: hi
Me: why did you contact me?
Him: you contacted me.
Me: no I didn't.
Him: all that came up was a chat box that said ******* and "hi"
Me: that's weird
*more back and forth messaging*
Me: are you a Christian?
Him: yes

And that is how our four-year friendship began. We both concluded that God was the one who sent the original IM. A few months ago I got in contact with him and we talked. It was nice because I got some closure. There was one thing I could not stop thinking about though. At the end of our conversation he said that we had an "ordained" friendship. I was kinda sad because I didn't know if he really believed that or if he was just saying that. I'm not so sure I believe it was "ordained." He came with a lot of hurt. Yes God knows how to work a computer but so can satan right? I don't know what to think...

A small part of me still misses him. I don't know why...I just wish I had some answers as to how we met that first night.

What do you think about all this?
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well just be carefull not to be catfished
 
My advice would be to just pray about it. It seems like you keep going back and forth wondering why you two met and then it seems as though you don't want anything to do with him? Just ask God for guidance. Just give it time, each day it will get easier, eventually you will completely move on. Pray that God will put someone new into your life and focus on him/her. Look to form new POSITIVE relationships. It seems to me that the emotional pain you have been put through is not worth the love and support that he gave you.

There are many many people that would be willing to spend the time talking with you and will genuinely support you.

all you have to do is reach out.

thats my .02 cents
 
Uh...this modern version of an online Soap Opera is slowly dying away. IT originally sounded 'different' and unique and very speculative...now..after reading all posts and replys...you are beating a dead horse here. God never causes confusion. GOD never ordains something that you described as 'comes with lots of hurts". How can YOU handle more hurt and frustration in your life? DO you need online drama to add to the existing situations that you have typed out to the world here? If we get down to the basics....what we all need is a closer walk with JESUS CHRIST, allowing HIS Holy Spirit to penetrate your entire body, mind and spirit. How do you do that? Stay in close, continual contact with HIM, read HIS Word, join yourself to a BIBLE believing Holy Spirit filled congregation and discover what unique spiritual gifts that you have inside that comes naturally to you. Use that gift or gifts to help others. Share JESUS with others...take the focus away from yourself and your self made problems. Enjoy life more abundantly with NO regrets...Live for JEsUS..OTHERS..and YOU..in last place. Life will take a new direction for you.
 
JF,

I am not sure to what extent, if any, God directly involves Himself in people's day to day affairs. I don't see any basis for anyone else to know either.


IMO it is possible that God brought this person into your life when you needed him most ; and decided at some point that it was time to involve you with other people. However, IMO, this scenario is highly unlikely!

I have frequently expressed my opinion on the value of speculation; so this is as far as I will take this.
 
JFSurvivor said:
So there's this guy I used to know...his name is Brian...he lives all the way on the other side of the country from me. We had an online friendship for about 4 years and things were great at first then he stopped caring and didn't respond as much then he stopped responding all together. It really hurt because he was my ONLY friend at the time.

Also how we met was really weird too. I was at my computer and at the time I had AIM. The thing with AIM was you couldn't send a message unless it had something written in the text box. AIM was basically an instant messenger, So I was at my computer and this blank IM box comes up. It was ******** (like I'm gonna give out his screen name). Here is what happened:

Me: hi
Him: hi
Me: why did you contact me?
Him: you contacted me.
Me: no I didn't.
Him: all that came up was a chat box that said ******* and "hi"
Me: that's weird
*more back and forth messaging*
Me: are you a Christian?
Him: yes

And that is how our four-year friendship began. We both concluded that God was the one who sent the original IM. A few months ago I got in contact with him and we talked. It was nice because I got some closure. There was one thing I could not stop thinking about though. At the end of our conversation he said that we had an "ordained" friendship. I was kinda sad because I didn't know if he really believed that or if he was just saying that. I'm not so sure I believe it was "ordained." He came with a lot of hurt. Yes God knows how to work a computer but so can satan right? I don't know what to think...

A small part of me still misses him. I don't know why...I just wish I had some answers as to how we met that first night.

What do you think about all this?
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OK so here's and idea. What if God put Brian in your life for those 4 specific years. And then Satan perhaps was like "I'm gonna use this and make him leave so she has a broken relationship with God" because maybe Satan wanted you to focus more so on getting answers FROM BRIAN RATHER THAN RELY ON GOD for your ansewers . So now here in the present god wanting to claim you back and use this chance to show you that while the outcome of him never coming back or changing into old Brian may no longer be probable that God WILL take care of it and now since Brian won't give you answers you have two choices: 1) continue to message Brian for answers and out of worry or 2) understand that Brian most likely will not give you answers but instead seek gods answer. Let God take care of it which involves YOU leaning on HIM.

God's answer may not come in the form you want however but god works discreetly and I know in my heart he will present you with something better.
 
TwilightSparkle said:
OK so here's and idea. What if God put Brian in your life for those 4 specific years. And then Satan perhaps was like "I'm gonna use this and make him leave so she has a broken relationship with God" because maybe Satan wanted you to focus more so on getting answers FROM BRIAN RATHER THAN RELY ON GOD for your ansewers . So now here in the present god wanting to claim you back and use this chance to show you that while the outcome of him never coming back or changing into old Brian may no longer be probable that God WILL take care of it and now since Brian won't give you answers you have two choices: 1) continue to message Brian for answers and out of worry or 2) understand that Brian most likely will not give you answers but instead seek gods answer. Let God take care of it which involves YOU leaning on HIM.

God's answer may not come in the form you want however but god works discreetly and I know in my heart he will present you with something better.
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Everything in red I think you are spot on. I have this eerie feeling that he's going to come back and something is telling me to stay put and wait and pray.

Last night I had a dream where I posted a picture of him on facebook and said in the caption, "I am very disappointed in this person". He responded with, "So am I." The dream could be nothing or it could be something. I'm not going to jump to a conclusion.

When I went to church yesterday the pastor gave w PHENOMENAL sermon on how to pray. He talked about not bottling our emotions with God and how the Holy Spirit helps us from within and how even our groaning can be prayer. I put in tp practice what he explained last night...I prayed for Brian and I felt like I actually accomplished something. I felt like I was actually DOING something. Before I felt like my prayers would just bounce off the ceiling and now it's like I understand what I'm supposed to do...I'm not supposed to let go just yet...I gotta keep poring myself and my emotions to God and begging Him to help Brian because...well I don't know why but I'm just gonna do it anyway because I'm afraid of what could happen if I don't...

As for the eerie feeling...I have tried the whole "well he may come back and he may not" I have tried the whole "he's not coming back so get over it" but it was like fighting restraints for a while. Eventually it would go away but then I would miss him again and get all sad and want him back. I am DONE going in this endless circle. I want this done so I'm going to stay put, wait and pray. Because if I fight this feeling nothing good will come of it.
 
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