Brody, you also have to understand what is going on in the realm of relationships. It is the act of the two making one, wink wink, that establishes a spousal relationship. Spousal relationships are irrevocable. Marriage is the public confession of that spousal relationship. That's why it's void without consummation. Now, you can separate, or even get a judge to declare the marriage dead, but in God's eyes you are still and always will be spousal.
satan attacks marriage, he knows he can't do anything about the spousal part but he can mess with the confession of it. And that's what's really in play here, the confessional. It's kinda like God, you can say He does exist, you can say He doesn't exist, neither of which have any real bearing on His actual existence. Spousal's the same... you can say you're married, you can say you're divorced, either way it has no bearing on the fact that you're spousal.
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take that in for a minute before we move on. Let that set a new mindset.
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Honestly, my impression is that you need "time off". Separate or together you're still spousal, right? But there's a lot of truth in the human adage that familiarity breeds contempt, and absence makes the heart grow fonder. satan plays on that to interfere with our relationships... especially the one with God. The more time you spend sweating your marriage, the less time you have with God, right? It also scatters your brain (I've always joked that love makes you stupid
) Yes I know your name is on the lease but finding space in a neutral corner to seek God uninterrupted is more important. For both of you.
I'd start with a two week sabbatical. Make a date night with your wife somewhere in the middle of it (meet her there). Tell her it's not a separation (which is meaningless anyway, right?), you're just taking time to seek God and to stop irritating each other for a bit. Uninterrupted. That means that except for family business, you don't talk on the phone and you hang up as soon as it gets personal (she of course knowing that this is the rule from the beginning). I mean, the war's not over by making this move but I think a temporary cease fire couldn't hurt at this point.
You know, you break your arm and you give it a rest to let it heal. Your soul is no different.
Please feel free to print his out and share it with her. You both need a break - not an end - and I pray the Holy Spirit open her eyes to it. And that the Spirit open yours to the fact that, you can get the separation, you can get the divorce, but you're still spousal.
Do what you do with that in mind.
