I believe God is the author of confusion, unfairness, the wrong in the world, and that he is the ultimate cause for some of the failures people are guilty of, and also for the destruction of lots of good things. Why do you ask, here is my spiel, God is sovereign and is in control of everything, and free will is an arbitrary concept that does not exist. Why do I affirm calvinism, because experience is supreme. If you believe in God you are foreordained to believe and you are predetermined to believe, depending on your theology and doctrine you will find complete assurance or you will always be left doubting yourself and whether you are truly saved or a true believer. I believe you can be a legitimate believer in God, and still you will suffer so much pain because he wants you to have. What if God willed people to do evil so he could ahve glory, what if he willed people to do evil because he wanted to show his power? Romans 9 makes this clear, that God can choose what he wants from the vessels. What if he says I can use your evil and make it work out for my ultimate purpose and good which is supposed to be the redemption of humanity. What if he says I can take your sin and make it work out for my good and my glory. Quite frankly I am now tired of God being the only one we serve and why do I say this, I say this because I am tired of working hard and giving and never recieving, working hard and always falling short BECAUSE HE LIMITS ME AND PURPOSEFULLY MAKES ME FAIL, working hard and always taking from me and giving me fear and not assuring me, being unloving towards me, and ultimately being self-preserving and vindictive. You would have the be the perfect person to get what you want, and quite frankly, he would rather you fail and fail again, and he would rather limit you then give you independance, he would cripple you and hurt you and leave you to deal with it, why ebcause he wants to test you because he has these ideas that are supposed to be above us and in reality he just does what he wants and cares only about himself. I don't wish him well, I worked so hard for a blessing and he has not rewarded me, he disappoints me and makes me fail, not even lets me. I discovered why people suffer, because God said so. Also he is unreasonable sometimes with me I hear so many promises, and when will I get to see the promised land, when will I get it. I wish he would stop hurting me and scarring me I truly resent him for that and wish hurt on him. Its grevious and terrible when you realize how God works.
I don't know where to begin, I have so much to say. The tone that you have used to talk to talk about my Father, and the things that you speak are very wrong. I would suggest that you first try to understand God well before you say such things for your own good. You talk in such a manner that you know everything about God, but I don't think you do. Neither do I know everything about God, but I know enough about Him to say that your wrong, here's why.
There were times where I have questioned God, where I have yelled at Him. I had failed in two of the most important things in my current age, studies and sports. That's why I kept yelling at Him, because I could never get it right. Later on I understood how wrong I was for blaming God. Have you heard of a saying which goes something like this - If you blame someone else for your failure, then you are a coward. The same way, you can't blame God for your failure. You say you worked hard, that is nice, but hard work may not bring the success that you expect, immediately. It can lead to failures at certain times as well. But I can assure you that hard work will pay of one day if you keep working hard and never give up. That is from my experience. I graduated with a good percentage in 12th grade from high school, one good enough to get me into one of the top 10 colleges in the state. But if you look at my results in 11th grade, you would never have predicted such a thing, all thanks to God. I won gold for the sport I love the most before I left the high school too, thanks to God again. He granted them to me at the right time. Also, hard work is not the only requirement, you need God with you as well. I prayed to my Father about that college and He gave me what I requested. In Galations there is a verse in the 6th chapter that tells us that a man will reap what he sows. God also promises us that He won't give us more than what we can handle. Trust in God, He is your Father as well, have a Father-son relationship with Him. Honestly, if I talked to my earthly father in such tone that you did, and say such things, he would whoop me and not give me any food for a few days. I think you need such a whooping, it will help you to remember to be grateful, grateful for the food, clothing, shelter and all the necessary things that our Heavenly Father has given you.
God has given us a free will in this life, we can choose good or evil. We can choose who we become in the future. God knows the result of our life, that result will be due to our actions, not that God forced us to be like that, just because God knows everything about our future doesn't mean that we don't have free will. God knows everything because He is the beginning and the end, we shape our future, when we become Christians we surrender ourselves to God for His will to be done. Then He works on us, like how an earthly father would work on his child and be with his child guiding his steps, but our Heavenly Father cares more than our earthly father. I hope your understanding so far.
Looks like you have gone into a much harsher tone to the bottom of your paragraph. You say that God is an unloving God and that He cares only about Himself? Why did He die on the cross for you then, Fubario? Why did He go through all that pain by being a human when we were supposed to endure that pain? Sure, because God doesn't love us isn't it?...You completely forget what God has done for you.
God's plan is something above us, it definitely it. Only what we need to know about the future is told to us by God. That is the important things. If you think that God's plan is not above us, then why don't you explain to me how quasars exist in the universe? They break the laws of physics and no human could explain how they exist. There are millions of galaxies out there, do you know why? Does any man know? No. If we can't understand the purpose of God's creations such as these in His plan about the universe, then how do you expect to grasp His whole plan of all this with our tiny mind?
Stand up like a man and start working towards your goals again, never give up, ask God for forgiveness for saying such things and trust in Him. God will be with you, He will never let you fall, if you fail, it is to learn a lesson. Whenever I do wrong, God does give me suffering, so that I remember my mistake and never repeat it. He is our Father. He has a right to punish us. When you think about Adam and Eve they didn't have any suffering until they sinned. That was the fall of man. We are born as sinners, our carnal nature is attracted to sin, we need God with us to withstand such things and the sufferings that the devil would throw on us. God's mercy and love is what has given us a chance to go to Heaven. I believe you can move ahead in life successfully with God by your side Fubario. I wish you well.