the marriage myth

[olivetree32]

no dad, just discussing how marriage is a relextion of Christ. And yes dad, God does use us singles with married people. I went to lots of womans studies on marriage, and at first i was like, im not going. but than i knew i was sapposed to go and learn. Not only for my self, but to share with other married people. it was a study not only on a relationship with one's spouse, but i also go to apply it to my own personal life and my relationships with others. its a good discussion, and the marriage i think is a blessing from God!

 

[thefightinglamb]

The thing about marriage is it is so easily to become I-centered instead of Christ centered...It's YOUR marriage and YOUR kids and YOUR wife...et cetera...and where can Christ through this labyrinth of thoughts that are constantly plagued married peoples lives--Paul even writes this, that married people are worried about their spouses and how to please them, but the unmarried person is worried about the Lord and living a life of holiness to Him alone...

Also kind of wondering how people balance the saying of Jesus in Luke:

20: 34-36

And Jesus said to them , "the sons of this age marry and are given in marriage, but those who are considered worthy to that age and to the resurrection from the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage, for they cannot die anymore, because they are equal to angels and are sons of God, being sons of the resurrection..."

Just wondering, because thereis part of me that believes that something spiritually changes for the worse when people marry..just think about it if the disciples were married and their wives expected them home and Jesus called them--would it not have at least suggested a 'split' heart on what they were to do? Leave their families without support or follow their creator whereever he takes them? The thing is married people do seem to be hindered from doing what the Lord wills and thinks by, in the best case even, considering what is best for their family and how their actions will affect them...perhaps especially in the best case scenerio--in other scenerios the guy/girl just doesn't care...

Just thoughts
The Lord be with you
tony

 

[NoahsDad]

MAN!!!!!,In thewords of Williiam Shatner and Henry Rollins
I CANT GET BEHIND THAT!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Abing]

hmm

Criston

Struggling to understand how to answer...I think what I was trying to say is that when a person is constantly looking for 'their right one' and not just seeking the Lord's will they go astray...but if you hold to the fact that they are suppose to love them above everyone save Christ then why shouldn't they disregard Christian love to a secondary function...and thus it is likely to mean less and less to them...I hold to kind of strange view of Christian love--I believe the people the Lord wills for you to meet and connect/work/pray/live with that are Christian (either before or through you helping them see they become) form a small body of Christ as Paul states in his letters...I believe a spouse must be a part of this microcosmic body if s/he is a Christian, but getting married or anything else cannot make the depth deeper than what the Lord has already established....

What I am truly trying to point out is how some churches see 'marriage' as they ultimate fulfilment of the church for a Christian's life in a sense...but I think it was far from the disciple's minds and also the early churches minds to ever consider that 'personal marriage' as sooooo very important...I think they put Christ and Christian love so far above everything else that 'marriage love' wasn't secondary it was just rightly subjective to Christian love.

I think a lot of churches would have liked a good letter on a big beautiful wedding of two earthly people (perhaps Christians?) having many kids (perhaps godly physical children)--and that be the story of how to follow Christ...love your spouse and your children...I am trying to say that this is the analogy that so many churches still cling to instead of just teaching love everyone through Christ and come what may...

Confused now
tony

Geez, I don't think Christian love and Family love are two different things lol.
I've always believed that by showing family love, you are showing christian love.
Mark 5:19
Hmmm, what makes them different from each other is that, family love is accompanied by trust. And trust, you can't give that to anybody (that easy). Because we're not sure of what surrounds us. You can't juz go to the city and trust those people there like you trusted someone for 20 years LOL. God wants us to be careful in everything. We are still on earth.
Well, that was juz my opinion though, everyone of us is in the process of learning.
P.S. -> I didn't read everything,(juz some important parts) so i don't know if i'm missing anything lol.

 

[Abing]

And, in addition to that. LOL, if we love everyone juz like we love our wives/husbands ... LOL thats serious crime haha, uberpolygamy hahah

okay okay i'll stop here lol. peace everyone

 

[CristenJ]

Abing,

Hahaha. Uberpolygamy.

But yeah, that's sort of what I was trying to say.

 

[olivetree32]

The thing about marriage is it is so easily to become I-centered instead of Christ centered...It's YOUR marriage and YOUR kids and YOUR wife...et cetera...and where can Christ through this labyrinth of thoughts that are constantly plagued married peoples lives--Paul even writes this, that married people are worried about their spouses and how to please them, but the unmarried person is worried about the Lord and living a life of holiness to Him alone...

Also kind of wondering how people balance the saying of Jesus in Luke:

20: 34-36

And Jesus said to them , "the sons of this age marry and are given in marriage, but those who are considered worthy to that age and to the resurrection from the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage, for they cannot die anymore, because they are equal to angels and are sons of God, being sons of the resurrection..."

Just wondering, because thereis part of me that believes that something spiritually changes for the worse when people marry..just think about it if the disciples were married and their wives expected them home and Jesus called them--would it not have at least suggested a 'split' heart on what they were to do? Leave their families without support or follow their creator whereever he takes them? The thing is married people do seem to be hindered from doing what the Lord wills and thinks by, in the best case even, considering what is best for their family and how their actions will affect them...perhaps especially in the best case scenerio--in other scenerios the guy/girl just doesn't care...

Just thoughts
The Lord be with you
tony

oh, and here is what i am thinking Tony. There is so much more to that. I don't agree with you that couples do less for the Lord, i think they would actually do more. Two is better than one. i mean, i think there is power in that. of course satan does not want people married today, if you have two people together strong in the Lord, lives will be touched through christ our Lord. The family is a beautiful thing and gift from our God.i think its good to be married. And i also know what it is, and to be used in my singleness to brother.

 

[thefightinglamb]

Abing,
I do not know where in scripture it says 'to be careful'. It seems like worldly wisdom to me...I think you can give full trust to any true Christian...but how are you to know that they are true? The Lord shows us I believe...Am I to trust my physical family not in the Lord more than the Lord's family? It is equally true for Christian physical families, they are to trust Christians equally...have you not read Jesus' command..."Even as I have loved you, so must you love one another...and by this love they will know that you are my disciples..." How are we to love as Jesus loved? Some would say its impossible...but he wouldn't have commanded us to keep something that couldn't be done...so yes, I do believe we can love as Jesus loves, if God gives us his (Christ's) love then we can fulfill the commandment in a way by Him fulfilling it in us...

I was also pointing out that if marriage or sex or even finding the 'right one to marry' was Christian then Jesus being human would also have had to do that as an example of how to fulfill his earthly life. But Jesus did love as deep as is possible, which shows that marriage and sex and 'finding the right one' bringing one to greater or more intimate true love is false.

Don't you all remember what Paul said? If two cannot control their passions, then it is better for them to marry and there is no sin in that, but it would be better for them to stay unmarried to his way of thinking...and not be hindered by trying to please wife/husband/children...

He even saw being and remaining single for the Lord as a gift. Now I do not think that's what the world and worldly churches show...that it is a very gift to be single rather than seeing marriage as part of a Christian's journey...

The Bible even says there are those who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven...

When you start saying you can love your husband/wife more than other Christians you start creating levels of love...and then you divide some greater love for your physical kids, of course; and more to your physical parents and to your physical brothers and sisters...and after you are done with that you give your blemished animal (love) to God's people...which is a sham and will not be accepted...

I think the major point I was trying to show is that when someone becomes your brother and sister and mother in Jesus Christ, being a Christian, there is NO DEEPER relationship or reality possible...Jesus counts what is done to you as done to Him...and whenever a part of the body suffers, the whole body suffers...

You will have a deeper relationship with a Christian than a non-Christian if you marry them.
You will have the same love for your wife/husband (sister in Christ) rather you marry them or not.

It reminds me of Augustine--which everyone on here seems to hate, but I love...

Those who have Christ have everything...
Those who have everything and have not Christ really have nothing.
Those who have Christ and everything really have nothing more than those who have Christ alone...

tell me that isn't God speaking through Augustine--it is just people like Him that confuse me so totally about the Catholic church--perhaps it is not the same church it was?

God bless all those who love the Lord and with His love, love everyone--especially those in the faith
tony

 

[NazariteNation]

oh, and here is what i am thinking Tony. There is so much more to that. I don't agree with you that couples do less for the Lord, i think they would actually do more. Two is better than one. i mean, i think there is power in that. of course satan does not want people married today, if you have two people together strong in the Lord, lives will be touched through christ our Lord. The family is a beautiful thing and gift from our God.i think its good to be married. And i also know what it is, and to be used in my singleness to brother.

Amen Olive!

If you find the right mate then you can do amazing things. I believe a Pastor's wife plays just as an important role as the Pastor however somewhat more behind the scenes. Personally I wouldnt want to marry someone who doesn't know how to intercede, especially during hard times or while I may be away.

 

[Abing]

Abing,
I do not know where in scripture it says 'to be careful'. It seems like worldly wisdom to me...I think you can give full trust to any true Christian...but how are you to know that they are true? The Lord shows us I believe...Am I to trust my physical family not in the Lord more than the Lord's family? It is equally true for Christian physical families, they are to trust Christians equally...have you not read Jesus' command..."Even as I have loved you, so must you love one another...and by this love they will know that you are my disciples..." How are we to love as Jesus loved? Some would say its impossible...but he wouldn't have commanded us to keep something that couldn't be done...so yes, I do believe we can love as Jesus loves, if God gives us his (Christ's) love then we can fulfill the commandment in a way by Him fulfilling it in us...

I was also pointing out that if marriage or sex or even finding the 'right one to marry' was Christian then Jesus being human would also have had to do that as an example of how to fulfill his earthly life. But Jesus did love as deep as is possible, which shows that marriage and sex and 'finding the right one' bringing one to greater or more intimate true love is false.

Don't you all remember what Paul said? If two cannot control their passions, then it is better for them to marry and there is no sin in that, but it would be better for them to stay unmarried to his way of thinking...and not be hindered by trying to please wife/husband/children...

He even saw being and remaining single for the Lord as a gift. Now I do not think that's what the world and worldly churches show...that it is a very gift to be single rather than seeing marriage as part of a Christian's journey...

The Bible even says there are those who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven...

When you start saying you can love your husband/wife more than other Christians you start creating levels of love...and then you divide some greater love for your physical kids, of course; and more to your physical parents and to your physical brothers and sisters...and after you are done with that you give your blemished animal (love) to God's people...which is a sham and will not be accepted...

I think the major point I was trying to show is that when someone becomes your brother and sister and mother in Jesus Christ, being a Christian, there is NO DEEPER relationship or reality possible...Jesus counts what is done to you as done to Him...and whenever a part of the body suffers, the whole body suffers...

You will have a deeper relationship with a Christian than a non-Christian if you marry them.
You will have the same love for your wife/husband (sister in Christ) rather you marry them or not.

It reminds me of Augustine--which everyone on here seems to hate, but I love...

Those who have Christ have everything...
Those who have everything and have not Christ really have nothing.
Those who have Christ and everything really have nothing more than those who have Christ alone...

tell me that isn't God speaking through Augustine--it is just people like Him that confuse me so totally about the Catholic church--perhaps it is not the same church it was?

God bless all those who love the Lord and with His love, love everyone--especially those in the faith
tony

Hmmm. You're right

 

[dodolah]

my mom is christian and she married my dad who is an atheist.
Is that mean my mom is living in sin -sexual promiscuity with my dad?

 

[iraasuup]

Well even two people who are Christians can marry and still have marriages that aren't always rosy. I mean let's face it marriages are relationships with two people, and people aren't perfect. Regardless, of if they are both Christian or not, there's always gonna be times when you drive each other nuts and think ' what on earth am I doing here?' that's just how it is!

I struggle to see the validity in the comments made on this topic from people who aren't married or who have never been married. Unless, you've been there honestly YOU HAVE NO IDEA!

 

[Ancilla]

Wow, this looks like a great discussion. I just wish it was in the singles section! I haven't read throught it all yet, but here are my two cents:

I do believe that there is a big problem of Christians thinking that they'll be immune to divorce if they do things "God's way." But like someone else said, Christians are not immune to all the problems that lead to divorce. I blame the high divorce rate on rapid social change and us struggling to adapt... but please take that with a grain of salt because I did study divorce in university but it's not fresh in my mind, and... well what I'm saying is there may be more learned people who have better theories on why the divorce rate is so darn high now, both with Christians and non-Chrisitans, and if you know anything about that please, please, please speak up. But the whole social change thing seems to summerize what I learned.

Here's my second point: it worries me when people imply that because they know the Bible they know all they need to know about what courtship and marriage "God's way" will look like. If that were true, maybe divorce wouldn't be a problem with Christians. We don't just need the Bible, we also need the advice of wise Christians. However, even a secular sociologist will tell you that Christians have advantages when it comes to marriage that non-Christians don't. But I'll get to that another time.

 

[Sinnner]

my mom is christian and she married my dad who is an atheist.
Is that mean my mom is living in sin -sexual promiscuity with my dad?

No not at all.

 

[Sinnner]

Well even two people who are Christians can marry and still have marriages that aren't always rosy. I mean let's face it marriages are relationships with two people, and people aren't perfect. Regardless, of if they are both Christian or not, there's always gonna be times when you drive each other nuts and think ' what on earth am I doing here?' that's just how it is!

I struggle to see the validity in the comments made on this topic from people who aren't married or who have never been married. Unless, you've been there honestly YOU HAVE NO IDEA!

Lots of unmarried people can have good advice on this.

 

[Sinnner]

I believe that a large amount of divorces are derrived from the concept of "soulmates." People use it as a scapegoat when they are let down in the marriage and assume that they are not with their "soulmate" and proceed to get a divorce.

If unequally yolked people get married there is still a blessing on the marriage. In this situation the marrying becomes like a filter. If you are un-married and fornicating this opens up doorways for demonic opression or possession. If one is having sex (un-married) it is likely that they will be afflicted the same as the person as they are engauging in sex with. For example it is possible to pass the demon of addiction to someone else through (un-married) sex. The marriage is like putting a filter between each. This is how Christians are protected in an unequal marriage.

 

[Thaddaeus]

Ok, I tried to read all the post and this answer has not been posted yet. But I am really getting sick Of Christianity and our Jesus getting a black eye because some Christians can't walk with God in every aspects of their life. If God says don't lie then don't lie, if God says don't murder then don't murder. If God says don't divorce EXCEPT Fornication, then don't divorce EXCEPT forination, and then that lead us to don't covet thy Neighbors wife then Don't do it. We do alot of things as Christians and blame God for it, Shame on us. As far as being unegually yoked I would never encourage anyone to married a non-Christian, I have seen to many woman weeping at the Altar begging God for their mates soul, do you really think you can live with the thought that The God you love so much, may have to send you spouse to hell. As far as the marriage part, Marrige is or should be a way for Christians to strengthen their love For God, no it should never be used to come between you and God. Everytime I get upset with My wife or she does something I don't thing she should do. right before I pour out my warth on her I think what has God done to me everytime I let Him down , He just loves me unconditionally and forgives me everytime. I close with this verse and a thought


1jo 4:20If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath NOT SEEN?

I say, if you can't love the one you live with, then why would you want to go live with God!

 

[thefightinglamb]

I think most people who have responded to this thread don't spiritually see what I as trying to say whatsoever.

If unmarried people should not have anything to say about marriage, then Christian married people need another Savior...

Or put another way, its the problem of rational perception--married people can't correctly analyze it because they are enmeshed in it; and unmarried people can't perceive because they are too detached--so neither can say anything rationally about it according to you alls points...

Anyway, physical or spiritual marriage to another physical/spiritual person (other than Jesus Christ) has never been and never will be a goal or fulfillment of the Christian life. HOLINESS is what counts. Seeking to follow the Lord; taking the eyes off of yours: my house, my views, my life, my wife, my children... This my is what enprisons some people to physical existence...and to conclude that 'physical children born to me are more dear to me than a spiritual child' who is mine in the sense that I immaculately conceive them through Christ--or Christ uses me to bring him/her to himself... It is that people miss this that makes them spritually superficial, when I believe 'the physical is what exists and that the spiritual is mere analogies' that Christianity gets drained of meaning...I am tired but I have more to say.

God bless all who love the Lord in truth

tony

 

[thefightinglamb]

How can you call someone your brother/sister in Christ, unless that is the true reality and the physical reality is but a shadow of the true reality found in the church?

Or do some of you all think the terms brother/sister/children in the church are less true/more true/or the same as those you call by those terms in the church?

I do not understand how else to understand Jesus' reply to his mother and brother asking for himself and him replying these are my brothers, and sisters and mother--whoever does the will of God...

 

[dodolah]

How can you call someone your brother/sister in Christ, unless that is the true reality and the physical reality is but a shadow of the true reality found in the church?

Or do some of you all think the terms brother/sister/children in the church are less true/more true/or the same as those you call by those terms in the church?

I do not understand how else to understand Jesus' reply to his mother and brother asking for himself and him replying these are my brothers, and sisters and mother--whoever does the will of God...

I would like to apologize if i sound offensive...
But...
HUH????? I think you should edit your grammar a bit more.
I am not trying to be derogatory here. But, some of the sentences you wrote do not make sense.
and, i am genuinely trying to comprehend what you are trying to say.