The Vigilant Pumicestone

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Now ..... Warrior.
The meaty stuff.

I am more than happy to relate my journey. But I am a verbose old bugger so, in advance, I urge anyone who finds it boring to simply 'scroll on by'.


Episode 1.
My parents moved around a fair bit and sent my brother and I off to the nearest protestant Sunday School every Sunday morning (usually Presbyterian or Methodist). I suspect, mainly to get us out of their hair for a while.
We became involved in church youth clubs, fetes, concerts and other activities.

From the age of about 10, bro and I were sent off to a 'Youth Camp' for 10 days or so each year.
Turns out these camps were run by really, really hardcore Evangelicals who fed us their "come and be saved" message from 6am till 10pm every day.
At 13, I succumbed. And immediately became obsessed.
Read the Bible for hours every day. Prayed on my knees for ages. Sought to 'convert' every person I met. Tried to convince my Methodist church leaders that they had to be more gung-ho.

Changed to the Baptist church which I saw as sharing my own passion and zeal.
"Rededicated" my faith at a Billy Graham crusade a few years later, 'leading my brother to the Lord' at that time.
Felt very strongly 'called' to the ministry and studied hard both at school and beyond with that ultimate end in mind.

Now, that is the background.
"Episode 2" will document what some might call 'the Fall' ...............
Take your time, brother. Good stuff ...
 
Now ..... Warrior.
The meaty stuff.

I am more than happy to relate my journey. But I am a verbose old bugger so, in advance, I urge anyone who finds it boring to simply 'scroll on by'.


Episode 1.
My parents moved around a fair bit and sent my brother and I off to the nearest protestant Sunday School every Sunday morning (usually Presbyterian or Methodist). I suspect, mainly to get us out of their hair for a while.
We became involved in church youth clubs, fetes, concerts and other activities.

From the age of about 10, bro and I were sent off to a 'Youth Camp' for 10 days or so each year.
Turns out these camps were run by really, really hardcore Evangelicals who fed us their "come and be saved" message from 6am till 10pm every day.
At 13, I succumbed. And immediately became obsessed.
Read the Bible for hours every day. Prayed on my knees for ages. Sought to 'convert' every person I met. Tried to convince my Methodist church leaders that they had to be more gung-ho.

Changed to the Baptist church which I saw as sharing my own passion and zeal.
"Rededicated" my faith at a Billy Graham crusade a few years later, 'leading my brother to the Lord' at that time.
Felt very strongly 'called' to the ministry and studied hard both at school and beyond with that ultimate end in mind.

Now, that is the background.
"Episode 2" will document what some might call 'the Fall' ...............
Wow, that's amazing and interesting. I would've had enough by my 20s as well haha
 
Episode 2
At age 19 or 20, I was still a staunch believer and church-goer. Although, on reflection, I recall a few deep-down niggling doubts just starting to creep in.
Perhaps not even doubts. Merely questions for which I could not immediately see rock-solid convincing answers.
But then - another family move - this time in very close proximity to a certain public park in which, every Sunday afternoon, a large number of public speakers would passionately regale the crowd with their diverse political, religious, racial and even sexual views.
Most of the speakers were utter nut-cases ... communists, atheists, gays, humanists, theosophists, conservationists, radical students, protesters about anything and everything ... and yes, the occasional evangelist.
This was new ground for me. I had never been exposed to such a wealth of conflicting ideas. I ate it up.

One bloke was obsessed that the 'Virgin Birth' was bogus.
He was an academic and seemed to have a wealth of data to back up his claims including an apparent grasp of Hebrew and Greek.
Naturally I challenged him - and we indulged in many months of weekly public debates which attracted considerable crowds.
Even some media coverage.
To prepare myself for these frays, I began to spend many, many hours in our State Reference Library. Often 4 hours a day.
My researches were solo, undisciplined and wide-ranging. Which I later felt was a good thing because I remained uninfluenced by any particular 'ism'.
Almost against my will, I eventually came to believe that the guy was probably right and that 'real' evidence for the Virgin Birth was sadly lacking. Indeed there was much to the contrary.

This almost destroyed me. I really was a conflicted, anxious, confused, even frightened .... mess.
If the virgin birth was fiction, what about all the rest - what about the veracity of the bible itself ?
And so began even more searching and study and consultation with older folk whose views I respected.
And the inerrancy of the bible began to crumble ......

Eventually, it became an enormous weight off my shoulders. Freed from the shackles of superstition, dogma, narrow-thinking, bias and delusion.
But it was by no means a painless journey.

Episode 3
will follow - if anyone gives a crap.
 
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Oh alright, if you insist :D
Episode 3
Backtracking.... this whole Virgin Birth thing was the catalyst. It had never previously occurred to me to doubt it.
In this thread, I don't intend to go into all the reasons why I believe it never happened because I'm sure we'd get sidetracked - but if anyone would like to explore the matter elsewhere .... bring it on !

Anyway, it opened the floodgates. If a matter of such vital importance to Christianity was dubious, what price the Resurrection, water into wine, waking on water etc etc etc
Before we even start on the OT stuff like the Creation story and the Ark so on.

So then, one looks around to see if any religious 'ism' is believable - and become convinced that none is.
Now I can't quite make the leap to atheism.
Because I cannot accept a bunch of ancient tribal myths and legends does not mean that there is not a creative intelligence -possibly.
But I see no evidence that said entity (if it exists) involves itself in any way with humanity as individuals.
So, for want of a label, agnosticism seems the 'go'.

And it's great. One can lead a moral life - because common sense reveals that to do otherwise leads not to happiness.
One can look at all questions with an open mind - free of preconceived dogma, emotional ties, guilt about 'original sin' and without the carrot of heaven or the big stick of hell.
Dust to dust and all that.

Sure, there is the very occasional downside.
At times of despair or grief or fear, one is on one's own. No "casting all your cares upon Him because he careth for you".
But when one realizes that such 'support' is artificial and fantasy and childish, one becomes a mature adult and copes.

It is intellectually liberating and I recommend it to all.
I don't know about others but I cannot choose to believe.
Either a proposition makes sense and will withstand thorough scrutiny - or it does not.
No religion that I have encountered survives that sort of research.
 
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