-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
P
Because either we haven't met the right person or we have let that "right person" slip away.
So then the question arises of why would we allow a " right person" to slip away?
Perhaps insecurity a/or fear or perhaps we were to dismissive? Maybe we are lacking in skills of perception and the connection didn't register.
As for guys, at least myself, it seems as if we must formulate and articulate the proposition of declaring interest in a very precise and benign way in order to even hope for a chance at developing a friendship.
So then the man is attempting to pursuit yet it falls on deaf ears or perhaps the woman has a very specific target which negates anything less...
Boy for being a newby I sure bit off a mouthful!
Love to hear feedback but please be merciful..
So then the question arises of why would we allow a " right person" to slip away?
Perhaps insecurity a/or fear or perhaps we were to dismissive? Maybe we are lacking in skills of perception and the connection didn't register.
As for guys, at least myself, it seems as if we must formulate and articulate the proposition of declaring interest in a very precise and benign way in order to even hope for a chance at developing a friendship.
So then the man is attempting to pursuit yet it falls on deaf ears or perhaps the woman has a very specific target which negates anything less...
Boy for being a newby I sure bit off a mouthful!
Love to hear feedback but please be merciful..
Because either we haven't met the right person or we have let that "right person" slip away.
So then the question arises of why would we allow a " right person" to slip away?
Perhaps insecurity a/or fear or perhaps we were to dismissive? Maybe we are lacking in skills of perception and the connection didn't register.
As for guys, at least myself, it seems as if we must formulate and articulate the proposition of declaring interest in a very precise and benign way in order to even hope for a chance at developing a friendship.
So then the man is attempting to pursuit yet it falls on deaf ears or perhaps the woman has a very specific target which negates anything less...
Boy for being a newby I sure bit off a mouthful!
Love to hear feedback but please be merciful..
So then the question arises of why would we allow a " right person" to slip away?
Perhaps insecurity a/or fear or perhaps we were to dismissive? Maybe we are lacking in skills of perception and the connection didn't register.
As for guys, at least myself, it seems as if we must formulate and articulate the proposition of declaring interest in a very precise and benign way in order to even hope for a chance at developing a friendship.
So then the man is attempting to pursuit yet it falls on deaf ears or perhaps the woman has a very specific target which negates anything less...
Boy for being a newby I sure bit off a mouthful!
Love to hear feedback but please be merciful..
In my very humble experience, a man who has approached me with a character compliment and an "I'd like to get to know you" typically will be granted some (limited at first) access. Personally, and I cannot speak for every woman, simply being attracted to me physically will make me a bit more stand-offish.
S
Because either we haven't met the right person or we have let that "right person" slip away.
So then the question arises of why would we allow a " right person" to slip away?
Perhaps insecurity a/or fear or perhaps we were to dismissive? Maybe we are lacking in skills of perception and the connection didn't register.
As for guys, at least myself, it seems as if we must formulate and articulate the proposition of declaring interest in a very precise and benign way in order to even hope for a chance at developing a friendship.
So then the man is attempting to pursuit yet it falls on deaf ears or perhaps the woman has a very specific target which negates anything less...
Boy for being a newby I sure bit off a mouthful!
Love to hear feedback but please be merciful..
So then the question arises of why would we allow a " right person" to slip away?
Perhaps insecurity a/or fear or perhaps we were to dismissive? Maybe we are lacking in skills of perception and the connection didn't register.
As for guys, at least myself, it seems as if we must formulate and articulate the proposition of declaring interest in a very precise and benign way in order to even hope for a chance at developing a friendship.
So then the man is attempting to pursuit yet it falls on deaf ears or perhaps the woman has a very specific target which negates anything less...
Boy for being a newby I sure bit off a mouthful!
Love to hear feedback but please be merciful..
Because I'm too dense to pick up on subtle signs of interest, and if a guy says the wrong thing the portcullis is lowered (I started out typing a v instead of a w in that word, that would have been an interesting typo to let propagate), the drawbridge is raised, and the archers all have an arrow drawn (translation: I get defensive and suspicious of the guy's motives pretty quick).
Well recent experience in the life of cinder (for a given value of recent): a guy has to convince me that he wants to be with me, quirks and all. A generic line or compliment isn't going to cut it (though displaying a good sense of humor might get you a laugh and a chance to converse). The last couple guys to approach me and succeed in befriending me : one walked right up to me before church asked to sit with me and then opened the conversation by saying "So I understand you like books". I'd never noticed his existence before but clearly he had noticed mine and remembered something particular about me. It earned him the nickname friendly neighborhood stalker, but he did become a friend.
The other guy is an online friend who managed to initially break just about every rule in my "how to approach me" book, but when I deflected him with humor, he picked up the joke and ran with it and didn't push his case. That backing off was the best thing he could have done to salvage the situation as it let me know that he was going to respect my boundaries and concerns, not try to charm his way past them and push me into something.
As for the how not to approach a girl, I get practically weekly examples of this with local guys talking to me and sometime in their first conversation with me asking if I have a boyfriend and then offering to be my boyfriend or help me find a boyfriend. Even worse would be if I imply that there is someone in another country I'm kind of interested in (sometimes the easiest way out of the situation) and then they continue harping on my need for a real life boyfriend here. Granted living in Asia and being female, 30+, boyfriendless, and white makes me rich, available, probably easy, and desperate in the eyes of most of the locals. They don't like it when I won't fit that script. I should have just made up a pretend overseas boyfriend before I came.
Well recent experience in the life of cinder (for a given value of recent): a guy has to convince me that he wants to be with me, quirks and all. A generic line or compliment isn't going to cut it (though displaying a good sense of humor might get you a laugh and a chance to converse). The last couple guys to approach me and succeed in befriending me : one walked right up to me before church asked to sit with me and then opened the conversation by saying "So I understand you like books". I'd never noticed his existence before but clearly he had noticed mine and remembered something particular about me. It earned him the nickname friendly neighborhood stalker, but he did become a friend.
The other guy is an online friend who managed to initially break just about every rule in my "how to approach me" book, but when I deflected him with humor, he picked up the joke and ran with it and didn't push his case. That backing off was the best thing he could have done to salvage the situation as it let me know that he was going to respect my boundaries and concerns, not try to charm his way past them and push me into something.
As for the how not to approach a girl, I get practically weekly examples of this with local guys talking to me and sometime in their first conversation with me asking if I have a boyfriend and then offering to be my boyfriend or help me find a boyfriend. Even worse would be if I imply that there is someone in another country I'm kind of interested in (sometimes the easiest way out of the situation) and then they continue harping on my need for a real life boyfriend here. Granted living in Asia and being female, 30+, boyfriendless, and white makes me rich, available, probably easy, and desperate in the eyes of most of the locals. They don't like it when I won't fit that script. I should have just made up a pretend overseas boyfriend before I came.
Me too that's why I don't tell them I'm not really rich.
Is this the new truth in dating ads?
Man seeking available, easy, and desperate woman for a date and perhaps more. Citizenship in a developed nation a plus. (and most of the other stuff I could type here based on stereotypes and actual personal ads I've seen on the local expat forum would not be CC appropriate)
Ok truth in cinder ranting disclaimer: The men here are not nearly as bad as men in some other countries I've visited where it was a bad idea for a woman to go out alone. And yes the asking personal questions like age, income, weight, and marital / dating status is culturally acceptable here. I just have a very hard time with people not being able to get it through their heads that their assumptions are not true when my words and actions pretty clearly contradict said assumptions and the guy the other day being so insistent rather annoyed me.
Is this the new truth in dating ads?
Man seeking available, easy, and desperate woman for a date and perhaps more. Citizenship in a developed nation a plus. (and most of the other stuff I could type here based on stereotypes and actual personal ads I've seen on the local expat forum would not be CC appropriate)
Ok truth in cinder ranting disclaimer: The men here are not nearly as bad as men in some other countries I've visited where it was a bad idea for a woman to go out alone. And yes the asking personal questions like age, income, weight, and marital / dating status is culturally acceptable here. I just have a very hard time with people not being able to get it through their heads that their assumptions are not true when my words and actions pretty clearly contradict said assumptions and the guy the other day being so insistent rather annoyed me.
Last edited:
M
This is an interesting post..lots of good information.
You know the funny thing to me is that before the Lord made me an honest man, I seem to have a gift of knowing what a woman wanted hear and then playing the game of getting into her affections ...(of course I was younger and was actually trying to be attractive then)
You know the funny thing to me is that before the Lord made me an honest man, I seem to have a gift of knowing what a woman wanted hear and then playing the game of getting into her affections ...(of course I was younger and was actually trying to be attractive then)
