Does something feel funky to others too?

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A

atwhatcost

Guest
#1
#1
I see this trend on the family forum that feels funky. Most of the people starting a post have a total of ONE post when they start their post, it's about how horrible their marriage is, and then, by the time it's discussed, (as if we have any idea of what's happening just because we hear one side of the story), and over, that's it. The person disappears.

It feels like this is the dumping ground for anyone who thinks they have a Christian marriage, and then once all the info is dumped (usually in one very TL;DR block of text), poof! They're gone.

Funky! Equally as funky that so often they do get the answer they wanted to hear.

Funky! I'm feeling a bit used.
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#2
Apr 18, 2013
9,687
2,740
113
#2
This is just what people do.

The same thing happens in normal counseling.
 
J

JackRT

Banned
#3
Jun 27, 2015
112
2
0
#3
Perhaps they feel a sense of relief in just having got their concerns off their chest. In my experience in other chat forums, these people seldom get any real relief from their fellow Christians. What they do seem to get is a lot of condemnation and some very questionable advice. I have not yet any sense of what happens here.
 
Olerica

Olerica

Banned
#4
Apr 15, 2014
2,050
38
0
#4
I wonder too if they don't make a spoof account so that their issue is not tied to them in general. I have heard of this method of privacy used in other forums.
 
M

Mitspa

Guest
#5
#5
I think its that Sirk guy...he is a trouble maker :(
 
S

Sirk

Guest
#6
#6
People are continually "building their case" against their spouse....rewriting history etc. instead of chasing Jesus.
 
A

atwhatcost

Guest
#7
#7
maxwel said:
This is just what people do.

The same thing happens in normal counseling.
Click to expand...
Including hearing the answer they wanted?
 
notuptome

notuptome

Senior Member
#8
May 17, 2013
15,050
2,538
113
#8
I always wonder if they are not just throwing red meat to the sharks to watch the feeding frenzy.

If so many folks are in such dire straights we are in very sad shape.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 
S

Sirk

Guest
#9
#9
notuptome said:
I always wonder if they are not just throwing red meat to the sharks to watch the feeding frenzy.

If so many folks are in such dire straights we are in very sad shape.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
Click to expand...
The sad part is that many people are in dire straights. It's ugly out there.
 
A

atwhatcost

Guest
#10
#10
notuptome said:
I always wonder if they are not just throwing red meat to the sharks to watch the feeding frenzy.

If so many folks are in such dire straights we are in very sad shape.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
Click to expand...
Um, dire straights is a way of life for many, including me. Why is that "in sad shape?"
 
Reborn

Reborn

Senior Member
#11
Nov 16, 2014
4,087
217
63
#11
atwhatcost said:
Funky! Equally as funky that so often they do get the answer they wanted to hear.

Funky! I'm feeling a bit used.
Click to expand...
Any answers of sense with maybe don't make our we?




This type of hit and run in PM is even more puzzling.
 
P

pwrnJC

Banned
#12
Dec 1, 2014
1,430
27
0
#12
I hear you, sister...Dumping ground it is. Silly willy little daily events in their lives that they think the world needs to know and care about. Sad, misfortunate situations that we really cannot control online. Damaged lives that are in a continuous vicious cycle. I have tried to answer to my best ability, and I get flack from fellow CHRISTIANS as being "Judgmental, uncaring, unkind and causing trouble plenty". Do we CHRISTIANS try to be politically correct in our responses and give them what they want to hear, or do we boldly stick to GOD's WORD and try to direct, guide and console them to a higher spiritual level? Either way..it's a public forum. If JESUS CHRIST Himself typed out a response, it would be open to public scrutiny and ridicule or praise. Do our answers and responses actually help or hinder? The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind..the answer is blowing in the wind! lol
 
S

skylove7

Guest
#13
#13
People that need advice and then flee...doesnt upset me as much.
What breaks my heart is prayer requests...

Months later I often wonder how they are feeling.
With no updates :(
 
S

Sirk

Guest
#14
#14
pwrnJC said:
I hear you, sister...Dumping ground it is. Silly willy little daily events in their lives that they think the world needs to know and care about. Sad, misfortunate situations that we really cannot control online. Damaged lives that are in a continuous vicious cycle. I have tried to answer to my best ability, and I get flack from fellow CHRISTIANS as being "Judgmental, uncaring, unkind and causing trouble plenty". Do we CHRISTIANS try to be politically correct in our responses and give them what they want to hear, or do we boldly stick to GOD's WORD and try to direct, guide and console them to a higher spiritual level? Either way..it's a public forum. If JESUS CHRIST Himself typed out a response, it would be open to public scrutiny and ridicule or praise. Do our answers and responses actually help or hinder? The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind..the answer is blowing in the wind! lol
Click to expand...
Gentleness is mentioned as a fruit of the spirit.
 
R

Rosesrock

Guest
#15
#15
probably just mods starting discussions for posting purposes. Most sites run off of how many posts per day. :)
 
A

atwhatcost

Guest
#16
#16
My older brother had a thing about reptiles and amphibians. Because of that, in his bedroom he had 5-10 aquariums filled with salamanders, horned toads, chameleons, small garter snakes, gerbils and mice (for the big black snakes living outside), and baby box turtles (because they were born in his pen outside, but could escape with that size chicken wire or be eaten by the caiman. They could also be killed by their mother, since turtles never hang around to meet their offsprings.) We called his collection "the menagerie" for obvious reasons. He was always good about cleaning the aquariums, but his room still smelled funky -- something like the reptile house at the zoo.

Because of that funky means a bit more to me. Yes, unpleasant, but not horrible, evil, or negative. Just funky. My brother's room has pleasant memories attached to that smell. Please know, I used funky for that reason. It does make me wonder. It does smell odd, but I'm not saying it's evil or horrible. Just funky.
 
Dan58

Dan58

Senior Member
#17
Nov 13, 2013
1,991
339
83
#17
atwhatcost said:
Most of the people starting a post have a total of ONE post when they start their post, it's about how horrible their marriage is, and then, by the time it's discussed, (as if we have any idea of what's happening just because we hear one side of the story), and over, that's it. The person disappears.
Click to expand...
When a person post once about their marriage problems and then disappears, its probably a reflection of why they have marriage problems in the first place. They whine, but never interact.. The lack of communication is a key ingredient to many marital problems, and these one time complainers often demonstrate that they have the attention span of a gnat. I doubt they respond to their spouse any better then they do to all the members who answer their post?

Your right, we only get one side of the story, and it generally evolves around I, my, me, etc. Its essentially a one-sided 'poor baby' report. I often wish that their husband or wife would come on here and answer their post, because I think it would provide a whole new perspective on exactly who's abusing who. I suspect the 'woe is me' complaints would be similar to Eve complaining that her husband got her into all kinds of trouble, or Adam complaining that his wife gave him something bad to eat. :)
 
S

skylove7

Guest
#18
#18
Many of them just argue with your heartfelt advice anyway.
Lol...why bother?

Some people even have their mind made up to not listen to truth...before they make a thread.
Lol


Again...
Why bother?
 
A

atwhatcost

Guest
#19
#19
pwrnJC said:
I hear you, sister...Dumping ground it is. Silly willy little daily events in their lives that they think the world needs to know and care about. Sad, misfortunate situations that we really cannot control online. Damaged lives that are in a continuous vicious cycle. I have tried to answer to my best ability, and I get flack from fellow CHRISTIANS as being "Judgmental, uncaring, unkind and causing trouble plenty". Do we CHRISTIANS try to be politically correct in our responses and give them what they want to hear, or do we boldly stick to GOD's WORD and try to direct, guide and console them to a higher spiritual level? Either way..it's a public forum. If JESUS CHRIST Himself typed out a response, it would be open to public scrutiny and ridicule or praise. Do our answers and responses actually help or hinder? The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind..the answer is blowing in the wind! lol
Click to expand...
You, and then I, have already determined we aren't family. You're not my brother in Christ, so please don't call me sister. I'm not. You've determined I'm a self-centered B****. (That was put nicer than what you launch at me, and I really don't care what you say, so thought I'd make the label shorter.) Nothing has changed there, so why pretend now that we're in agreement because you've gone off on your own vain and pretended it had all to do with agreeing with me?

Sorry. I really am guileless. A different thing than the form of arrogance you have.

We may be family some day, but first you need to repent and be saved. The advantage of reading "reply with quotes" is, if/when that day happens (and I suspect it will, since you keep hanging out on this site... either that, or I don't want to be anywhere close to you on Judgement Day, because God is launching a log offense on you already), I'll be able to see it through "reply with quotes." That's when we reconcile.

(BTW, really didn't read much of what you posted, except this time Sirk "reply with quotes" it, so I brushed a quick glimpse. You're still living in my permanent iggy land.)

Feel free to Amen this too.
 
A

atwhatcost

Guest
#20
#20
skylove7 said:
Many of them just argue with your heartfelt advice anyway.
Lol...why bother?

Some people even have their mind made up to not listen to truth...before they make a thread.
Lol


Again...
Why bother?
Click to expand...
And then you've just listed twice why I bother sometimes. "Many" and "some." I also see those who really do want to listen, who really do want to put in the effort, and really do want God to deal with the situation, except writing a letter to God like they wrote to us is a bit frustrating, because he doesn't have an address to send it to. (I've been there. I've actually written it anyway and then self-righteously shake it high over my head, like God could read it better from that angle. lol)

And, on a rare occasion the answer is clear -- "FLEE! Post haste! Get out! Save your life. Save your kids' lives!" When the relationship is physically abusive and escalating, do we really need the other side of that story?

Because of that, I do at times add to the voices. I sometimes add, if I can't tell which kind of person it is. But "many" and "some" are best to be quiet over.

(Hard for me. I got that talkative-chick gene working against me. lol)
 
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