New and want an answer..

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bentley337

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Hey there,
I just signed up last night and have a serious question....I was raised in a strong Christian family and was molested by my very own "Christian father"; how is it that he feels since he asked God for forgiveness that all is Ok???? I am am 28 years years old and deal with depression and relationship issues and daily chronic pain due to what happened..
thanks
 
I can honestly say I really know where you're coming from. He thinks that it's all ok because he settled things with God in his mind so he sort of expects you to do the same. Which is incredibly hard when you think about all the areas of life that what he did has long term affected. It's not going to be easy looking at him and saying oh what you did is in the past I don't care anymore. But I know having God in my life and walking with Him and searching after Him has helped me a lot to get over the past. Although there are times when you feel like you're back where you started from with the pain, you just have to remember that God is right there with you as you experience it. I think one of the passages in the Bible that really helps with trusting in God is Philippians 4:6&7 as Paul tells us not to worry about anything but instead pray to God and tell him what you need. God does keep us no matter what and even though He never says the road is easy, with Him it definitely makes it bearable. What your father did was horrible and in his mind he may think that he can move on and be ok. Focus on you and your relationship with God and don't worry about him anymore. Although I know this is very much easier said than done. I hope that helped at least a little.
 
jordana said:
I can honestly say I really know where you're coming from. He thinks that it's all ok because he settled things with God in his mind so he sort of expects you to do the same. Which is incredibly hard when you think about all the areas of life that what he did has long term affected. It's not going to be easy looking at him and saying oh what you did is in the past I don't care anymore. But I know having God in my life and walking with Him and searching after Him has helped me a lot to get over the past. Although there are times when you feel like you're back where you started from with the pain, you just have to remember that God is right there with you as you experience it. I think one of the passages in the Bible that really helps with trusting in God is Philippians 4:6&7 as Paul tells us not to worry about anything but instead pray to God and tell him what you need. God does keep us no matter what and even though He never says the road is easy, with Him it definitely makes it bearable. What your father did was horrible and in his mind he may think that he can move on and be ok. Focus on you and your relationship with God and don't worry about him anymore. Although I know this is very much easier said than done. I hope that helped at least a little.
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ahh phillipians 4:6-7 my favorite verse :)
 
bentley337 said:
Hey there,
I just signed up last night and have a serious question....I was raised in a strong Christian family and was molested by my very own "Christian father"; how is it that he feels since he asked God for forgiveness that all is Ok???? I am am 28 years years old and deal with depression and relationship issues and daily chronic pain due to what happened..
thanks
Click to expand...

Welcome to the club! and its not a small one either. I know this is NOT what you want to hear, but if he TRUELY repented then God has forgiven him, and its ok. Thank and praise be to God. If he is not willing to forgive your father and my father if they have truely repented, then he is not willing to forgive me for the sins I have committed. Just because I have never sexually abused someone doesnt mean that I am a better sinner then my father.

I know it rubs the wrong way. I still have to ask God all the time to help me forgive my parents. One for what they did, and one for knowing what they did and doing nothing about it to help me and my sisters.

I am in such a deep depression that I spent the New Years in a psychiatric hospital. I am anxious and scared and sad and my family is getting really tired of my nonsense.

You ask how you deal with it? God, he is the only answer there is. If I can say that from the bottom of the deep dark pit I am in, surely you can try to understand just a little bit. The answer is God. It always was.

I used to get really upset about prayer and how God answers prayer. I had some pretty terrible things happen to me and my sisters. Disgusting, degrading, and horrible things and then had my minister father preaching that God would send me to hell if I didnt obey. I would pray and pray, and God always said no, he wouldnt help me. Or he said wait, or he ALLOWED these bad things to happen.

Do you think that I could understand that as a child. I am an adult and I barely understand it. But I know with every core of my being that the answer you are looking for is GOD.

If you want to talk to me then message me.

Debbie
 
Hi Bentley,

As a victim of molestation, I can tell you that I struggled with your very same questions for years and years. I had so much anger! Some of that anger turned into self destructive behavior. It wasn't until I had my daughter that I calmed down, but the fear of seeing my molestor again was so strong (he was my grandfather). Years went by, and as an adult I found out that his family had left him, becase his daughter, who has my same name, claimed he had raped her. He was investigated by the authorities but as all of this was happening to him, he became very ill. According to family members, he was dying in a hospital and in alot of pain, and apparently had to go through his last days of suffering alone. As I thought about this, I sat there and looked back at my life, like it was a movie and thought, I have used so much of my energy being afraid and hating this man for what he did, and it's destroying my soul! So, as hard as it was for me to do,I forgave him...I never told him so, I'm not that brave. But I did talk it over with God, who gave me the peace to calm my soul and finally find true forgiveness. I don't understand how anyone can hurt a child in such a way, but the fact remains that it happened and I was left to pick up the pieces alone, as I had no one to help me through this. Well, that's not true, I had God. :)

I will pray that you find it in your heart to forgive, so that you may start to heal and find your own spiritual peace...

I'll be praying for you!

God bless you! Type to me whenever you'd like! :)
 
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