Managing Stress, Disappointment, Sadness and/or Grief

[Olerica]

After a tough few days emotionally (what can I say, grief is dynamic sometimes... so is disappointment) where I let myself just BE sad... which is healthy too... I noticed my regular buoyancy wasn't returning...maybe because the hits seemed to keep coming. So I did things that are in my unconscious plan of how to trigger GOOD feelings.

I am almost always talking to God. What can I say? Most of my time is spent alone and often times in prayer, and I think he speaks to me as I am guided to a Bible verse (typically not the reference, but the actual words), or my mind can't leave a bit of worship music alone, etc. which does bring comfort. But sometimes? Sometimes I still find myself stuck where I don't find comfort there. I hope I'm not alone in this, and I don't mean that God doesn't comfort, but I think that maybe there are times he brings us comfort in ways that aren't just found in the pages of the Bible.... or, am I alone in not always finding comfort there?

For me, when I'm really in a tough spot I have found the following list to be rather helpful. Mind, they aren't in any particular order and sometimes it takes more than just one of these things to snap me back into really remembering who holds me, who guides me... and it sure isn't the woman who looks out of my mirror. So, this is my list of 'get back on track.

1) Find someone who can hear me without trying to "fix it".
-I seriously complained and cried with a friend for an hour. After the tears were dry, she and I just laughed about the stuff we've been through lately... and then silly writers who also look at life a bit askew. All of that helped.

2) Be wildly creative
-I am ridiculously blessed with a very creative job. I went out and did something new and interesting. It might not sell, but I'll have fun trying. Bonus? Tastes good! I often write when I'm in this space. Sometimes just clearing the decks is helpful.

3) Make sure I am eating enough.
- I'm not sure if this is just a grief/depression thing, but I forget to eat when I am not in a good headspace. A decent meal of protein and veggies helps so much.

4) Take a nap.
-No one will ever convince me that God didn't invent the nap for the adult human. A 20 minute shut-eye will often head off a minor depression because of overwhelm. I have found too, that I sleep MUCH better the night I have taken a nap during the day. I don't know if it takes the physical edge off or what.

So... what do YOU do to deal with your stress, disappointment, sadness, and/or grief?

 

[cmarieh]

Well I always try to keep myself busy to keep my mind off whatever may be bothering me. I try to always read the bible and be in prayer.

Now some bad habits that I have is I also either forget to eat or lose my appetite for food all together. I am currently struggling with this bad habit. Since my grandma passed last night, I haven't eaten anything since lunch time yesterday and honestly I just don't have an appetite and I have tried to keep sugar in me, but I don't think I can eat anything.

 

[Olerica]

Well I always try to keep myself busy to keep my mind off whatever may be bothering me. I try to always read the bible and be in prayer.

Now some bad habits that I have is I also either forget to eat or lose my appetite for food all together. I am currently struggling with this bad habit. Since my grandma passed last night, I haven't eaten anything since lunch time yesterday and honestly I just don't have an appetite and I have tried to keep sugar in me, but I don't think I can eat anything.

Try yogurt.... if you like it, I mean. If you do, get a full fat greek yogurt in a flavor you like. It goes down easily, the cultures help with digestion, it tastes nice, it's a decent protein hit. I will tell you after making myself VERY sick a few months after my husband died, you must take care of yourself.

I'll say this too... be busy, but don't 'take your mind off of it'. It's normal and good to be sad. But don't let yourself fall into the trap of being sad and NOT doing, OR avoiding the difficult emotions by doing. Cry and do the laundry or dishes (dishes don't care if you are crying)... etc. but let yourself experience whatever emotions you have, CMarieh. <3 You'll get though this and you'll miss your gran for a long time. The losses get easier kinda, but you still miss people you love.

 

[cmarieh]

Try yogurt.... if you like it, I mean. If you do, get a full fat greek yogurt in a flavor you like. It goes down easily, the cultures help with digestion, it tastes nice, it's a decent protein hit. I will tell you after making myself VERY sick a few months after my husband died, you must take care of yourself.

I'll say this too... be busy, but don't 'take your mind off of it'. It's normal and good to be sad. But don't let yourself fall into the trap of being sad and NOT doing, OR avoiding the difficult emotions by doing. Cry and do the laundry or dishes (dishes don't care if you are crying)... etc. but let yourself experience whatever emotions you have, CMarieh. <3 You'll get though this and you'll miss your gran for a long time. The losses get easier kinda, but you still miss people you love.

I love yogurt and probably will eat something in a few hours for dinner. I know I need to take care of myself, but I am going through some other issues as well combined with this so everything just hit me like a ton of bricks. Thank You

 

[blondieindahouse]

Try yogurt.... if you like it, I mean. If you do, get a full fat greek yogurt in a flavor you like. It goes down easily, the cultures help with digestion, it tastes nice, it's a decent protein hit. I will tell you after making myself VERY sick a few months after my husband died, you must take care of yourself.

I'll say this too... be busy, but don't 'take your mind off of it'. It's normal and good to be sad. But don't let yourself fall into the trap of being sad and NOT doing, OR avoiding the difficult emotions by doing. Cry and do the laundry or dishes (dishes don't care if you are crying)... etc. but let yourself experience whatever emotions you have, CMarieh. <3 You'll get though this and you'll miss your gran for a long time. The losses get easier kinda, but you still miss people you love.

And Ill add: Make a whey protein shake. It takes a few minutes. Dump the
high quality whey protein (30-40 grams protein in two scoops) in the blender with 2/3 ice and then water. Add a banana or apple if you have it on hand and blend. It gives you a huge big gulp glass of nourishment and tastes like a milk shake. It will keep you going for 4 to 5 hrs. Its extremely healthy and you can sip on it for hours. Get out and exercise. Get the heart pumping so you sleep well at night. Pray until the Lord lulls you to sleep!

My condolences to you on the loss of your gran! May the Lord comfort your heart in your grief. Amen

 

[missy2014]

I love yogurt and probably will eat something in a few hours for dinner. I know I need to take care of myself, but I am going through some other issues as well combined with this so everything just hit me like a ton of bricks. Thank You

AWw im really sorry too and for all thats accumalated lately/or happened at once im thanful weve got the Lord and hes got us he carries us

 

[chickwithsticks]

I am so sorry to hear you ladies are in the middle of grief and/or a period of sadness. Olerica you are not alone in your questions asked in your OP. Scripture is very healing but I think there are moments when physical touch and time spent with a close friend to laugh and cry with are so cathartic.

I have had a stressful year with many life changing events and I found that volunteer work in my community helped me more than I could have imagined and becoming more actively involved in my church were life saving.

I hope these suggestions may prove helpful ...prayers for peace and strength at this time are sent for you both.

 

[missy2014]

After a tough few days emotionally (what can I say, grief is dynamic sometimes... so is disappointment) where I let myself just BE sad... which is healthy too... I noticed my regular buoyancy wasn't returning...maybe because the hits seemed to keep coming. So I did things that are in my unconscious plan of how to trigger GOOD feelings.

I am almost always talking to God. What can I say? Most of my time is spent alone and often times in prayer, and I think he speaks to me as I am guided to a Bible verse (typically not the reference, but the actual words), or my mind can't leave a bit of worship music alone, etc. which does bring comfort. But sometimes? Sometimes I still find myself stuck where I don't find comfort there. I hope I'm not alone in this, and I don't mean that God doesn't comfort, but I think that maybe there are times he brings us comfort in ways that aren't just found in the pages of the Bible.... or, am I alone in not always finding comfort there?

For me, when I'm really in a tough spot I have found the following list to be rather helpful. Mind, they aren't in any particular order and sometimes it takes more than just one of these things to snap me back into really remembering who holds me, who guides me... and it sure isn't the woman who looks out of my mirror. So, this is my list of 'get back on track.

1) Find someone who can hear me without trying to "fix it".
-I seriously complained and cried with a friend for an hour. After the tears were dry, she and I just laughed about the stuff we've been through lately... and then silly writers who also look at life a bit askew. All of that helped.

2) Be wildly creative
-I am ridiculously blessed with a very creative job. I went out and did something new and interesting. It might not sell, but I'll have fun trying. Bonus? Tastes good! I often write when I'm in this space. Sometimes just clearing the decks is helpful.

3) Make sure I am eating enough.
- I'm not sure if this is just a grief/depression thing, but I forget to eat when I am not in a good headspace. A decent meal of protein and veggies helps so much.

4) Take a nap.
-No one will ever convince me that God didn't invent the nap for the adult human. A 20 minute shut-eye will often head off a minor depression because of overwhelm. I have found too, that I sleep MUCH better the night I have taken a nap during the day. I don't know if it takes the physical edge off or what.

So... what do YOU do to deal with your stress, disappointment, sadness, and/or grief?

For me the devil keeps throwing those thoughts 'give up on God' and also i get real down when I feel like I cant even do the basics of the things of God like casting my cares on him or knowing i can go to the cross. But funnily enogh i had those thoughts about the time you posted this 30 or so minutes ago and what helped was the Lord made me aware of my thinking I thought I had to go the direction of those negative thoughts but then with the Lord's awareness Iv realised I didnt and I was comfortable in sin wallowing in self piy and shame so its kind like 'shaking off the dust','' shake it off' you think upon the lord again and as you say olerica remembering the one who holds u

 

[missy2014]

I am so sorry to hear you ladies are in the middle of grief and/or a period of sadness. Olerica you are not alone in your questions asked in your OP. Scripture is very healing but I think there are moments when physical touch and time spent with a close friend to laugh and cry with are so cathartic.

I have had a stressful year with many life changing events and I found that volunteer work in my community helped me more than I could have imagined and becoming more actively involved in my church were life saving.

I hope these suggestions may prove helpful ...prayers for peace and strength at this time are sent for you both.

Aww your a sweetie im sure Olerica will really appreciate this

 

[secularhermit]

After reading 9 posts I need to check if I´m not at ladies room...

 

[ServantStrike]

Loud nosies!

Loud music.

Quiet music.

Scripture.

Prayer.

Exercise. Really obnoxiously over the top exercising. Slam weights, grunt, etc.

 

[secularhermit]

Well, singles...

I won´t say that witnessing your pic faded off is good for my sight and, emotionally, I can identify differently (I seldom feel depressed) unless someone I have loved has gone elsewhere...

When I´ve needed to "fix" myself I walk. Once I start doing it, I see the life around and the loneliness I might have felt, disappear.

Eating is NOT good for me! Although these days I eat 3 chocolate bars and, when I gave one my mom, she bought for me an artificial flavoured-expensive ice cream I didn´t want (she already knew that).

When I go shopping with my mom, I see how things are changing, the way she was and how she changed so, as a stress therapy, I have taken the subway after leaving her in a bus (we walk at different pace). If I followed her rules, that would cause me some stress I don´t need.

I know! I can imagine that secret craving those huge desires and, that picture is missed, because IT REPRESENTS YOU (here and there).

And, as soon as I isolate this weekend, may our prayer reach the place in God´s hearts you want to be heard.

Sincerely,

this Hermit

 

[Nataly5]

Tips on how to handle stress:

1. Dedicate 15 minutes a day to relax. Lay down and think happy/positive things during this time.
2. Breathe deeply. Breathing relaxes not just your body, but your brain too, by breathing you reorganize activities easily cause it gives you a sensation of control.
3. Find an activity that calms you. It might be going for a walk, go shopping, go to the movies, go have dinner, etc. All these activities help you burn negative energy, relaxes and stimulates your brain.
4. Be aware that you wont always have what you want. You got what you need, learn how to make your best with what you got.
5. Do not compete with others. Your achievements are personal, you dont need annoying and frustrating comparing, you are YOU and that is AWESOME!
6. Stay away from processed foods. These accelerate your metabolism generating more stress. Food regulates behavior, so eat fruits and veggies, they keep your organism clean and healthy!
7. Sit and walk straight. This way you clear the channel that joins your heart and spine.
8. Do activites that involve nature. This helps you clear your mind

God bless everyone! SMILE,|Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. ---Matthew 6:34|

 

[A_Friend_In_Christ]

I have a friend from church and she has a friend who is seriously ill in the hospital. How can I be there for my friend from church?

I have already told her that I will pray for her sick friend. If God should take her friend home what is the best way to be there for my friend?

I will tell her later if there is anything I can do I will be there for her.

 

[Olerica]

I have a friend from church and she has a friend who is seriously ill in the hospital. How can I be there for my friend from church?

I have already told her that I will pray for her sick friend. If God should take her friend home what is the best way to be there for my friend?

I will tell her later if there is anything I can do I will be there for her.

Such an awesome question! Bless you!

Honestly? Ask that question now of your church friend... how can I be there for you? Every person will want something different.

You stand out in a crowd if you can handle the emotional stuff... and if you can be there for practical stuff too (or instead)? You are a prince. All of the above and prayer too.

*I wrote out a whole bunch of stuff that I decided to delete as it was rather personal and specific to what I needed/need. My advice is to find out from your friend what brings them comfort and then be gently persistent. When you have a loss, there is a lot of attention for awhile and then people's lives move on, but when you have lost someone, it seems the world is passing you by and you are stuck in sad. Grief takes longer to process than you think it should, but we don't really get to control that.

 

[Bristecom]

I know what you mean. There are many times when I get upset or sad and I don't take it to God. But inevitably it only festers and gets worse if I don't get back to a Godly mindset. But yes, there are obviously many "healthy" ways of handling negative emotions. For me lately, that has been writing in some way or another, even if nobody sees it.

I however, cannot simply ignore things. I have to work it out in my mind and leave it in an at least somewhat satisfactory, understandable state. Like recently I've been very frustrated with dealing with totally incompetent, selfish, lying, cheating people. It's a shame that people are this way but ultimately I had to remind myself that this is simply a result of the fallen world and a twisted culture. Then I got a letter from a client of mine thanking me for my help over the years and it restored my hope in humanity a little.

But it's good that you at least have a close enough friend to call up and laugh and cry with. It's hard being alone. In this day and age we can easily "connect" to people from a distance but actually getting close enough with somebody to share pain with is becoming increasingly rare as friends tend to come and go and people get more secluded. I suppose you can't ever truly rely on someone else; the only constant is Christ as His promises are eternal. But it is still a tremendous blessing to have a good friend.

Eating can definitely help at times. I also have a tendency to go long periods of time without eating and I'm sure it's hard on our mind and body. But taking naps (if I am ever able to) always makes me feel awful when I wake up and I end up even more agitated! I guess just we just have to find what works for us.

 

[melita916]

So... what do YOU do to deal with your stress, disappointment, sadness, and/or grief?

1) i talk to God very honestly. i say exactly how i'm feeling. more than likely, i'll cry and cry while telling Him how i feel. when i'm done crying, i thank Him for letting me be honest. i thank Him for caring about me.

2) i sing. i'll grab my guitar and just sing.

3) sleep! lol i've cried myself to sleep plenty of times, and i wake up the next morning feeling way better.

4) i watch funny videos on youtube.

this morning, my mind wanted to go down a sad path, and if i had followed it, i would've been bummed the entire day. instead, i said out loud, "no. i don't wanna do that. so i won't. nope!" thanks to Holy Spirit helping me, i was able to turn it around into something joyful. and i was like yaaaaaaaaas

 

[Siberian_Khatru]

I just let it happen. I don't have a pain management system. New wounds hurt regardless of how well I bandage the old ones.

 

[Tinkerbell725]

I just let it be. Feel the pain for it demands to be felt. Sometimes I try not to overthink and get busy, its not easy but sometimes pain we feel is just merely our thoughts.

 

[cmarieh]

First off, I finally got some food in me last night. But I have been doing some serious thinking about this and I have found listening to other people and their situations to be very therapeutic and helped me bounce back because I have always placed others before myself and so I really needed it. Granted people may use it as a distraction, but whatever I may say needs to be a reminder to myself as well and so it helped me through the grieving process.