What if I don't cope?

  • Thread starter Thread starter rebekkasoph
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rebekkasoph

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My life is all about asking questions so it was only natural to do so now too, when I am in this kind of a turning point in my life. I will be graduating this year (spring 2016) and I volunteer at our church every other friday and every saturday. It's amazing, and I like the work (mostly about organizing events for kids) but there are a few people who bother me more than I think they should.
We have a youth pastor and a pastor at the church who don't seem to like me - at all. I have no idea if this is just my own damn insecurities talking or is it the cold truth, but they seem to want to talk to everyone else but me. When they see me they sometimes smile but sometimes don't even bother and most of the time I feel like I'm just on the way. The youth pastor is a big part of my volunteer work so getting along with him would be really important but even though I try my best, we don't seem to connect (or he doesn't seem to like me) at all. What should I do?
 
rebekkasoph said:
My life is all about asking questions so it was only natural to do so now too, when I am in this kind of a turning point in my life. I will be graduating this year (spring 2016) and I volunteer at our church every other friday and every saturday. It's amazing, and I like the work (mostly about organizing events for kids) but there are a few people who bother me more than I think they should.
We have a youth pastor and a pastor at the church who don't seem to like me - at all. I have no idea if this is just my own damn insecurities talking or is it the cold truth, but they seem to want to talk to everyone else but me. When they see me they sometimes smile but sometimes don't even bother and most of the time I feel like I'm just on the way. The youth pastor is a big part of my volunteer work so getting along with him would be really important but even though I try my best, we don't seem to connect (or he doesn't seem to like me) at all. What should I do?
Click to expand...

I've pondered this for a bit - and my only thoughts are to bring this to the attention of someone else -- someone else at your church (Elders, people who have been there for a long time).

Perhaps someone else here on the forums will be able to give you better advice.

Trust your prayers will be answered.
 
rebekkasoph said:
My life is all about asking questions so it was only natural to do so now too, when I am in this kind of a turning point in my life. I will be graduating this year (spring 2016) and I volunteer at our church every other friday and every saturday. It's amazing, and I like the work (mostly about organizing events for kids) but there are a few people who bother me more than I think they should.
We have a youth pastor and a pastor at the church who don't seem to like me - at all. I have no idea if this is just my own damn insecurities talking or is it the cold truth, but they seem to want to talk to everyone else but me. When they see me they sometimes smile but sometimes don't even bother and most of the time I feel like I'm just on the way. The youth pastor is a big part of my volunteer work so getting along with him would be really important but even though I try my best, we don't seem to connect (or he doesn't seem to like me) at all. What should I do?
Click to expand...

Some questions come to mind:
1.) Outside of church do you feel like other people don't like you? Do you often feel like people in authority don't like you?

2.) Is there any reason, that you can think of, why they wouldn't like you?

3.) Could you ask the youth pastor directly if everything is ok between you two?
 
"he don't seem to like me," "I have no idea if this is just my own damn insecurities talking or is it the cold truth, but they seem to want to talk to everyone else but me."

What do you think of this verbage? Does it sound confident?

The obvious answer would be, "Talk to him. Get some some closure." Until, or unless you do, this is all in your head. IF he states that he does in fact not like you, then you have a legitimate reason to be upset.
 
Hi Rebekka,
I agree with what Mr Siberian_Khatru says. Your language is unsure.

I would encourage you to talk to someone else who is perhaps older and cool headed first and discuss with them what you want to ask them.

Something that helps me: When I am at work and I have to have a difficult conversation with a co-worder, or my boss, I write out my questions first, then send them to my good friend to read. We proof read and make changes until the language no longer sounds sounds accusative or defensive, but respectful and affirming of their position, yet direct.

Remember, with a conversation where there is potential for conflict, if you start on aggressive or defensive it will put most people either on the defensive or offensive themselves. It's just how most of our brains work.

(a brilliant book that will help you learn to manage difficult conversations is Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High)

Good luck sister! :)
~Rush
 
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