L
so ive been writing a book and ive written the first 8 chapters and i thought why not share the first chapter to you guys. i would really like some honest feedback to like if theres any mistakes or anything like that.
Chapter 1: Tango's Final Speech.
Looking back on everything that's happened, I begin to see how life for me has truly changed.
I remember all the tears growing up when I didn’t get exactly what I wanted, when the fact that my parents couldn’t afford to buy me the most expensive toy was enough reason for a tantrum. At that time I thought that nothing would make me more upset than being ‘that poor kid’.
Look at me now. Richer than I ever thought possible. But now I’m always sad. The tears don’t stop. The aching of my heart refuses to leave me.
Maybe I really could have been someone, like my father wanted. That’s an impossible dream now. I’m richer than ever yet somehow I actually feel poorer. No matter what I try or how hard I try or how many times I try – I can only concentrate on her…and all the ifs and maybes.
I know there was nothing I could have done to save her. I understand all that but…I can’t help it anymore. There’s something I’ve got to do.
“Don’t bother trying to stop me” I whispered to the restless darkness. It had completely engulfed me by then. The dark mist surrounding me stared at me blankly in reply.
Maybe her afterlife place does exist. I don’t quite understand this whole religion believing anarchy but I know she believed in it. All of it. If it’s real then that means she must be alright. I need to find out. I really should have done this a long time ago.
Carefully, I slid my knife out of my empty pocket. It was still stained with the blood of that monstrous thing that killed her. I slayed it. However now I am starting to regret that as I can no longer see any amount of revenge being enough. I can’t just avenge her: I need her. Only she can satisfy this treacherously evil hole that has settled inside of me. I know what to do.
The knife fit so comfortably in my hand. It’s almost unbearable. Everything’s all so natural. It hurts me. Using whatever remained of my humanity I kept my mind on her entirely.
The knife cut into my throat.
I hadn’t been aware of it at first. I had done it. The sudden realization of what was happening overwhelmed me. I dropped to my knees. Nausea flowing over me. Weakness spreading across my limbs, numbing me without mercy and urging me into the darkness. The burning pain that had been searing through me faded. Ceased into non-existence.
The knife dropped. A bang echoed at me from all possible directions. I could feel the life inside of me draining away, leaving me, drifting far…I almost felt better.
Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes. Transforming the whirlwind of thoughts onto the one thing through all nineteen years can be sure of: her.
I focused on everything she had told me. Freed from devastating consequences, I let go of the last piece of my soul. The last of my spirit. Releasing my life. Once it was released I could practically sense my undoubted freedom. However not hope, happiness or her.
After I go all that will remain is the stale shell that used to be my beloved body. All the care I stitched on to keep hidden the cracks that might reveal the true decaying embers of me would peel slowly off and inch by inch my innards would be exposed to the cackling world. I made my choices and I shall make one more. I accepted my fate like she said I had to.
Everything went dim. I fell to the ground. The last thing I heard was my own deafening scream I should have died with her.
Finally, I saw her…then the waiting darkness struck; taking away whatever else I had left. I should have died with her that day.
Chapter 1: Tango's Final Speech.
Looking back on everything that's happened, I begin to see how life for me has truly changed.
I remember all the tears growing up when I didn’t get exactly what I wanted, when the fact that my parents couldn’t afford to buy me the most expensive toy was enough reason for a tantrum. At that time I thought that nothing would make me more upset than being ‘that poor kid’.
Look at me now. Richer than I ever thought possible. But now I’m always sad. The tears don’t stop. The aching of my heart refuses to leave me.
Maybe I really could have been someone, like my father wanted. That’s an impossible dream now. I’m richer than ever yet somehow I actually feel poorer. No matter what I try or how hard I try or how many times I try – I can only concentrate on her…and all the ifs and maybes.
I know there was nothing I could have done to save her. I understand all that but…I can’t help it anymore. There’s something I’ve got to do.
“Don’t bother trying to stop me” I whispered to the restless darkness. It had completely engulfed me by then. The dark mist surrounding me stared at me blankly in reply.
Maybe her afterlife place does exist. I don’t quite understand this whole religion believing anarchy but I know she believed in it. All of it. If it’s real then that means she must be alright. I need to find out. I really should have done this a long time ago.
Carefully, I slid my knife out of my empty pocket. It was still stained with the blood of that monstrous thing that killed her. I slayed it. However now I am starting to regret that as I can no longer see any amount of revenge being enough. I can’t just avenge her: I need her. Only she can satisfy this treacherously evil hole that has settled inside of me. I know what to do.
The knife fit so comfortably in my hand. It’s almost unbearable. Everything’s all so natural. It hurts me. Using whatever remained of my humanity I kept my mind on her entirely.
The knife cut into my throat.
I hadn’t been aware of it at first. I had done it. The sudden realization of what was happening overwhelmed me. I dropped to my knees. Nausea flowing over me. Weakness spreading across my limbs, numbing me without mercy and urging me into the darkness. The burning pain that had been searing through me faded. Ceased into non-existence.
The knife dropped. A bang echoed at me from all possible directions. I could feel the life inside of me draining away, leaving me, drifting far…I almost felt better.
Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes. Transforming the whirlwind of thoughts onto the one thing through all nineteen years can be sure of: her.
I focused on everything she had told me. Freed from devastating consequences, I let go of the last piece of my soul. The last of my spirit. Releasing my life. Once it was released I could practically sense my undoubted freedom. However not hope, happiness or her.
After I go all that will remain is the stale shell that used to be my beloved body. All the care I stitched on to keep hidden the cracks that might reveal the true decaying embers of me would peel slowly off and inch by inch my innards would be exposed to the cackling world. I made my choices and I shall make one more. I accepted my fate like she said I had to.
Everything went dim. I fell to the ground. The last thing I heard was my own deafening scream I should have died with her.
Finally, I saw her…then the waiting darkness struck; taking away whatever else I had left. I should have died with her that day.
