Issues with anxiety, and discouragment

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RacherRoo

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Hello everyone, every since I can remember I have always felt a high level of anxiety when I am in a setting where there is a lot of people in my peer group. I notice that my nerves are higher when I am surrounded by Christian young adults. Mind you I have some great friends who share my Christian faith, but apart from them I find it very difficult to open myself up to new Christian I meet without feeling nervous, and insecure. I am currently at a great church, and have joined an awesome small group where we meet outside the church in someones home, but apart from that setting or those people I feel a disconnect with young adults who are Christian at my church or any church I visit.. I was helping out every second Sunday with the young kids, but within a set amount of time I started to feel it wasn`t where I wanted to be anymore on a regular basis. Not that I am knocking child care at the church I am not, its just the "role" they had for me wasn`t going anywhere on a deeper level, or really any direction..I`ll still help from time to time, but I can`t commit to something that started to stir up insecurities, and bring back old wounds, its difficult to explain.. I was meeting up with my community pastor to discuss the thought I`d love to minister to women who are the streets, people who need to hear the good news and hope thats only found in Jesus, and she told me I`d be put up on the board for as a candidate for the ministry.For once in my life I started to feel like I was going to use my God given gifts for a higher purpose, and through that allow myself to plug into my church. A few weeks after discussing and praying about it I started to let myself to feel excited, and anticipate the ministry God placed on my heart to help out with. Shortly after I found out that I was no longer a candidate or a person that was even considered for it, due to going in a different direction.. Now I know this may sound foolish, but when I bumped into the community pastor at a community event where I was volunteering told the same pastor said to my face "We don`t have a role for you. If you want I guess you could do something in the background" I am going to give her the benefit of the doubt here and not say anything thats out of love, but as you can imagine that comment really stung. I was thankful I had sunglasses on because tears were starting to form after her rather "abrupt run in" with me to tell me that. The whole thing was awkward on my end, but she seemed very confident and at ease with delivering said message. I am the type of person who easily gets excited, enthusiastic, and envisions all these amazing and wonderful things before anything even becomes official. Due to that reason I get let down a ton and always end up disappointed that these awesome things I imagined never become a reality, there just ideas or daydreams. My bestfriend always says how she admires my optimism, and the fact that even when my hopes are crashed frequently I still am able to dream and believe again. What she doesn`t know is that part of me.. that person who once dreamed, easily opened herself up to people is tired of the pain disappointment, and discouragement brings..
I stopped going to young adults because of the social anxiety that surfaced.. the anxiety and panic feeling was crippling. I couldn`t relate to the "high achieving", "goal driven, and acting" Christians. The first question they asked me "So what do you do?" intimidated me beyond belief. Those five words made me want to escape, and leave the room. Questions like that shouldn`t produce anxiety or make me feel discouraged because nothing ever worked out in ways I thought would, but they do, and they continue to weigh me down..

I was wondering if anyone of you struggles with this issue of discouragement due to things in your life not working out, and or social anxiety amongst Christian young adults?

I value and appreciate any advice, or encouragement you have to share if you feel called to.

Thanks for reading. :)
 
Reading this reminds me so much of myself. I suffer from social anxiety as well...it's actually quite severe. Any type of social situation that involves people I don't know well is a struggle. Sometimes they go better than others, sometimes my body actually begins to shut down. What's tough is that most people don't understand this. They look at me and dismiss it as shyness, as something I should just get over. I've considered handing everyone I meet a card that says, "Social Anxiety Disorder. Look it up."

As you said, questions like "what do you do" trigger my escape reflex, because I'm always certain that I'll never measure up. My life looks different than what most of the world would consider normal, and trying to explain this terrifies me. As do most other conversation topics, to be honest. My thoughts get caught in a self-destructive spiral. "You're not good enough" "You're a loser" "You're weird" "No one's going to accept you". I worry and fret over other people's opinions; I find myself basing my worth on my pre-conceived notions of what those opinions are. Sometimes those notions are right...Christian or not, people can be cruel. But still, I know it's something I shouldn't do.

I recognize that a lot of this behavior stems from a desire to fit in, to be accepted and understood. I also recognize that I already am, by the only One Who matters. But the devil is crafty, and he's very good at finding our weak spots to use them against us. And for some reason, lies are often easier to swallow than the truth. It's also easy to be caught up in the opinions of others, because everywhere we look, people are willing to give them. They have a way of trying to make us think we should be living our lives their way. When I catch myself believing the lies, I instantly stop and pray. I have to take command of my thoughts and separate the truth from what satan wants me to believe. I like to dwell on Bible verses that deal with fear, stress, and anxiety. I sometimes feel like they were written just for me. The trouble is, it's not a one and done deal. The anxiety always comes back. It's a daily struggle...sometimes even hourly. But I know I'm not alone in this. And that, as cliché as it sounds, is what gets me through. The Lord is with me. I falter, but He doesn't. I will continue to falter, but He never will.

I know this wasn't the advice or encouragement you were looking for. But I wanted to let you know that I understand what you're going through. And I will be praying for you.
 
I can have some levels of social anxiety. Some settings make it really bad, but as a person who has always had to work with the public I think it's helped me keep it from getting too serious of an issue. But it has not stopped it.
Though your thread seems to have been missed by most there are more here than you think who suffer with this in one level or another.
 
RacherRoo said:
Hello everyone, every since I can remember I have always felt a high level of anxiety when I am in a setting where there is a lot of people in my peer group. I notice that my nerves are higher when I am surrounded by Christian young adults. Mind you I have some great friends who share my Christian faith, but apart from them I find it very difficult to open myself up to new Christian I meet without feeling nervous, and insecure. I am currently at a great church, and have joined an awesome small group where we meet outside the church in someones home, but apart from that setting or those people I feel a disconnect with young adults who are Christian at my church or any church I visit.. I was helping out every second Sunday with the young kids, but within a set amount of time I started to feel it wasn`t where I wanted to be anymore on a regular basis. Not that I am knocking child care at the church I am not, its just the "role" they had for me wasn`t going anywhere on a deeper level, or really any direction..I`ll still help from time to time, but I can`t commit to something that started to stir up insecurities, and bring back old wounds, its difficult to explain.. I was meeting up with my community pastor to discuss the thought I`d love to minister to women who are the streets, people who need to hear the good news and hope thats only found in Jesus, and she told me I`d be put up on the board for as a candidate for the ministry.For once in my life I started to feel like I was going to use my God given gifts for a higher purpose, and through that allow myself to plug into my church. A few weeks after discussing and praying about it I started to let myself to feel excited, and anticipate the ministry God placed on my heart to help out with. Shortly after I found out that I was no longer a candidate or a person that was even considered for it, due to going in a different direction.. Now I know this may sound foolish, but when I bumped into the community pastor at a community event where I was volunteering told the same pastor said to my face "We don`t have a role for you. If you want I guess you could do something in the background" I am going to give her the benefit of the doubt here and not say anything thats out of love, but as you can imagine that comment really stung. I was thankful I had sunglasses on because tears were starting to form after her rather "abrupt run in" with me to tell me that. The whole thing was awkward on my end, but she seemed very confident and at ease with delivering said message. I am the type of person who easily gets excited, enthusiastic, and envisions all these amazing and wonderful things before anything even becomes official. Due to that reason I get let down a ton and always end up disappointed that these awesome things I imagined never become a reality, there just ideas or daydreams. My bestfriend always says how she admires my optimism, and the fact that even when my hopes are crashed frequently I still am able to dream and believe again. What she doesn`t know is that part of me.. that person who once dreamed, easily opened herself up to people is tired of the pain disappointment, and discouragement brings..
I stopped going to young adults because of the social anxiety that surfaced.. the anxiety and panic feeling was crippling. I couldn`t relate to the "high achieving", "goal driven, and acting" Christians. The first question they asked me "So what do you do?" intimidated me beyond belief. Those five words made me want to escape, and leave the room. Questions like that shouldn`t produce anxiety or make me feel discouraged because nothing ever worked out in ways I thought would, but they do, and they continue to weigh me down..

I was wondering if anyone of you struggles with this issue of discouragement due to things in your life not working out, and or social anxiety amongst Christian young adults?

I value and appreciate any advice, or encouragement you have to share if you feel called to.

Thanks for reading. :)
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Hello, Racheroo! :) First of all, thanks for being willing to volunteer in a ministry. Wow. I can't believe anyone would actually turn you away, are you KIDDING? I used to POUNCE all over volunteers when I was in ministry! I'm not sure what that person thought you were volunteering for... when they say, "We don't have anything for you.. maybe something in the background?" Umm... most volunteer work IS background, unless you were volunteering to run the place or take on some major leading role? Be that as it may, I say, get back out there and volunteer! Get with an organization who NEEDS you and appreciates you, because I guarantee you, they are out there!

As far as the anxiety goes, yeah, I've had my experiences with that. I will say this... I really think it helps to see a doctor. Sometimes a -slight- dose of an anti-anxiety med makes a -world- of difference. Currently I'm not on anything, so I can't give specific recommendations, but I do know people who have been helped vastly by just the slightest bit of medication! And if you are having trouble functioning in the world, it's definitely time to have a heart-to-heart- with your doctor.

In the meantime, find a good church that needs you! And not just in the children's department! Get out there and help others, it will do you a world of good! :cool:
 
You're definitely not alone. I suffer from random anxiety all the time. Especially when it comes to health related issues. Prayer always helps me take the edge off, but I need to occupy my mind to help push forward. As far as the church service.... You can always find other ways outside the church to glorify God. Even something completely random can open up an opportunity to be a disciple. At least that's how I feel when I walk out the door.
 
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