Got a gf or a wife? If you do, it's because she knew how to get her sexy working for you. We don't have to dress like hookers to get guys to notice. We dress like our personality to get a guy like us to notice. Back in my day, (disco era, so you might have to do some googling to catch the references lol), I was dressing as people did to go out to disco. Not Donna Summers fab, (which, for the record "fab" was a later era word lol), more K.C. from K.C. and the Sunshine Band fab. I was both showing what I had and not being immodest. I was in it to dance. I was looking for a guy who was in it to dance, not looking for a guy who was in it to talk me to going out behind the club. (Sadly, I truly understand what Lihle is going through, because most the guys out at discos weren't in it to dance. Many nights dancing with my gfs or by myself. Ended up marrying a guy who can't disco and I can't dance to rock anymore, but I still dance. My grove thing may have broken, but I can't resist a good dance beat. lol)
Three years later, and I was still wearing polyester shirts and high-waist jeans, which was the fashion of the time. (Many people -- gals and guys -- kept telling me to unbutton one more button. I wouldn't. I know who I was after. A guy who wasn't going to judge me by my cleavage.) He saw me in front of the church asking my new pastor if I could add to the announcements. I didn't know it was a Discipleship Movement church, because the discipleship part had just wrecked it. But hubby liked a woman brave enough to ask that in a church where that had been carefully trained out of people.
I got the man I was after. It wasn't intentional for him, but we're women. We really really know how to dress for the man we want, even when we don't know who he is in the crowd. That is our sexy! We don't have to look easy to attract a guy. We don't have to be easy to attract a guy. Matter of fact, we work at our shield thing that Lihle speaks of in another way in a different culture. We know our sexy!
You've been taught the same thing as a guy, albeit, I suspect the information given is different. (I don't know. Never got the opportunity to listen in as guys talk about how to attract women. I just can tell they have to be talking about it, because guys know what they're doing too. And I can see their variations on sexy and can tell who they're after.)