What's Your Problem Anyway?

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W

Wug

Guest
#21
#21
For me, it's actually meeting them. I'm only able to go to church once a month, and when I do, most of the people there are old people, or already married. I REALLY don't like going to the bars. Even if I did, I don't think I'm going to meet a nice Christian girl there. The only place where I actually make friends is at work, and there's a strict rule against interpositional relationships, and I'm a manager, so it's not like I could meet Ms. Right there. I'm looking for a new job, hopefully one where I don't have to work on Sundays.

Also, opportunity asside, I personally lack confidence when it comes to women. I've never had a girlfriend, so what most people learn firsthand about relationships in their teens, I would be learning about in my twenties. The only women I've been interested in have always been my friends, and I've always been too afraid to persue a relationship, in fear that if it didn't work out, it could damage the preexisting friendship. Because of my relationship history, or rather, lack there of, some people assume that I'm gay. They've never been mean about it, but it's always awkward when some one's shocked that I'm straight.

I suppose the biggest hindrance in my persuit of a girlfriend is my own fear. I'm affraid of the responsibility entailed, and I'm affraid of the possibility of hurting her. I recognize that it's my own fault, and if I'm any real kind of man, I should man up, and cast all fear asside. Another great hindrance is my laziness. Often I would like to have a girlfriend, but I'm too lazy to actually go out and seek one. I think that if there's a problem with some one, the fault almost ALWAYS lies with the individual. In this case, it lies with myself.
 
DinoDillinger

DinoDillinger

Senior Member
#22
Jul 28, 2009
839
19
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#22
We shouldn't consider dating someone anyway unless the plan is that it leads to marriage.
 
W

Wug

Guest
#23
#23
I humbly disagree. I see dating and courtship to be like a job interview for a spouse.
 
DinoDillinger

DinoDillinger

Senior Member
#24
Jul 28, 2009
839
19
18
#24
Wug said:
I humbly disagree. I see dating and courtship to be like a job interview for a spouse.
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Well actually that is what I meant. I don't think we should be dating just for fun though.
 
W

Wug

Guest
#25
#25
I see, yes I do agree with that. It should be deeper than just looking for a good time.
 
L

lil-rush

Guest
#26
#26
Wug said:
I humbly disagree. I see dating and courtship to be like a job interview for a spouse.
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courtship, by definition, would suggest you only court one person.

You date people. You court a person.
 
D

Dread_Zeppelin

Guest
#28
#28
goalgetter247 said:
When you say that you are "Extremely Aggressive" what exactly do you mean? Aggressive in what way?
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I'm kind of opinionated and I dont play mind games.I'm aggressive to what I want, if I like you i'll persue you or ask you out but if I'm not your type no loss. I dont date "beautiful"/popular/uninteresting people. I dont like the love scene, I'm not very emotional, and I dislike kissing more than 2 minutes. I have my own goals and my own life.
 
DinoDillinger

DinoDillinger

Senior Member
#29
Jul 28, 2009
839
19
18
#29
Dread_Zeppelin said:
I'm kind of opinionated and I dont play mind games.I'm aggressive to what I want, if I like you i'll persue you or ask you out but if I'm not your type no loss. I dont date "beautiful"/popular/uninteresting people. I dont like the love scene, I'm not very emotional, and I dislike kissing more than 2 minutes. I have my own goals and my own life.
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Have I told you before to stop that!
:)
 
MyBagsRPacked

MyBagsRPacked

Banned
#31
Nov 12, 2009
354
2
0
#31
goalgetter247 said:
When you say you "quit" listening to God...how do you mean. Do you mean listening to God BEFORE you got in this relationship or do you mean WHILE you were in this relationship?
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People have to remember that God has the perfect plan for each of us. He has handpicked the perfect person to "complete" us in this life. Now, when we aren't patient enough to wait on God, we might possibly be wasting our moment of meeting that "Right" person for You because you were wrapped up in something or someone else. Patience is a virtue is so true!
 
S

Stuey

Senior Member
#32
Aug 17, 2009
892
4
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#32
DinoDillinger said:
If a man and a woman have a love for God in common how many more interests do they need to share? I mean take mixing colors together, if you mix blue and blue you get blue, but if you mix blue and red together you get something new! Purple I think...Another, maybe better example, mixing copper and copper you get more copper, but if you mix copper with tin then you get bronze, something stronger and prettier to boot.

The problem for guys is that a virtuous woman is rare. The bible says they are worth more than rubies. So they are hard to find, cost alot, and if you aren't careful you might just end up with a red piece of glass instead of the real deal.
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:D:eek::D

Subtle.
 
J

juliet84

Guest
#34
#34
Perhaps finding a guy who wud respect me if i wanna wait to hv an intimate rship after marriage
 
Pheonix

Pheonix

Senior Member
#35
Jan 17, 2007
578
7
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#35
goalgetter247 said:
OK...I got it...........however I do disagree with one thing you said. You said that you believed that God led you into the relationship and then tried to lead you out. I think it's pretty safe to say that God doesn't make mistakes because He is all powerful and all knowing. However we as humans do make mistakes because our understanding is finite while God's is infinite. It is possible that God didn't actually lead you in that relationship and was trying to lead you out. I just can't see however that he led you in and then realized He made a mistake and thought He should get you out of it.

One of the biggest problems Christians in general have is learning how to hear from God and when they hear something, knowing that it was God who they heard. The truth of the matter is that anything God tells you is first of all going to line up with His word. For example....if you meet an unsaved person and for some reason feel they are the one sent from God then you are NOT hearing from God because His word says in 2 Corinthians 6:14) to not be unequally yoked with non-believers.

If you are really looking to be able to hear from God then the best thing you can do is get closer to Him. If I were to whisper something to you from across the street then chances are pretty great you won't be able to hear a word I am saying. However, the closer you are to me the better you will be able to hear what I am trying to tell you. The same is true with God. The way we get closer to God is through prayer and studying His word in the bible.
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I once had a relationship with a girl I thought I was supposed to marry. In the end it ended badly. I've since realized that while the relationship was not meant for marriage, God did intend for it to happen. It came at a time when I needed someone to ground me. I needed something stable in my life and she was it. In addition, I learned a great deal about myself and dealing with women. Most of the last I've forgotten in the last 8 years without any kind of relationship, but I can only hope that if I do find the one God wants that it will come back before she realizes I'm a complete idiot.

I guess my point is that God does lead us into things even if they aren't intended continue into marriage. Perhaps leading us out and being willing to be lead is part of the learning process for us a christians. As a man God expects me to lead in a marriage relationship. How can we lead if we can't follow?
 
G

greatkraw

Guest
#36
#36
Pheonix said:
I once had a relationship with a girl I thought I was supposed to marry. In the end it ended badly. I've since realized that while the relationship was not meant for marriage, God did intend for it to happen. It came at a time when I needed someone to ground me. I needed something stable in my life and she was it. In addition, I learned a great deal about myself and dealing with women. Most of the last I've forgotten in the last 8 years without any kind of relationship, but I can only hope that if I do find the one God wants that it will come back before she realizes I'm a complete idiot.

I guess my point is that God does lead us into things even if they aren't intended continue into marriage. Perhaps leading us out and being willing to be lead is part of the learning process for us a christians. As a man God expects me to lead in a marriage relationship. How can we lead if we can't follow?
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i can relate
 
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