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A
One bit of advice. Instead of asking others what God says, how about doing your own research on marriage, husband, wife, and divorce to see what he says to you? He really will give you your answer, but he does that by studying his words. Those words will give you a peace and understanding about your decision, because it really comes to his request for you and your marriage.
B
Adultery IS the only cause for divorce. YOU have forgiven her... are you unforgiving her NOW? I do notice you are attributing her adultery to "mania" and I assume you mean to be saying she has been diagnosed with a "mental imbalance". I would suggest in this particular scenario... that you make a decision about your wife... she is either SICK and not culpable for her actions or she has a problem being faithful... pick one or the other difinatively <this is for your heart-alone>
Now... there are two choices and two different courses of action.
1) if she is sick.... she is sick and your are to love her before God as your witness... you honor your vow.
2) if she has a problem being faithful... you can't UNFORGIVE the previous... but you can employ some stop-gap measures to HELP HER and give yourself some peace of mind... you cannot however PREVENT her from doing it again and at that point... you could divorce her.
I understand the REAL difficulty you are going thru... do you see how I have tried to make these clear distinctions?
Marriage Today with Jimmie and Karan Evans is a very good ministry program for strengthening marriages, please look into the materials and resources they provide.
Now... there are two choices and two different courses of action.
1) if she is sick.... she is sick and your are to love her before God as your witness... you honor your vow.
2) if she has a problem being faithful... you can't UNFORGIVE the previous... but you can employ some stop-gap measures to HELP HER and give yourself some peace of mind... you cannot however PREVENT her from doing it again and at that point... you could divorce her.
I understand the REAL difficulty you are going thru... do you see how I have tried to make these clear distinctions?
Marriage Today with Jimmie and Karan Evans is a very good ministry program for strengthening marriages, please look into the materials and resources they provide.
If she is bipolar, as you seem to suggest, then it is part of her disease. And her disease does not sound like it is under control.
Have you talked to her psychiatrist? This is really a tough situation. Because the symptoms of her disease are actually sin!
I minister to people with bipolar, and most of them have lost their marriages because of adultery. Even the ones who are strong Christians gave into the lust.
I pray God will direct you as to the direction you should go. You have some very difficult decisions to make!
Have you talked to her psychiatrist? This is really a tough situation. Because the symptoms of her disease are actually sin!
I minister to people with bipolar, and most of them have lost their marriages because of adultery. Even the ones who are strong Christians gave into the lust.
I pray God will direct you as to the direction you should go. You have some very difficult decisions to make!
It sounds like you do not know any bipolar people. Seriously, if you did, you would know how they really are not in control of their minds or actions, and regret terribly things they have done while manic.
That is not just adultery, but so many things where the person gets hypomanic and goes off the wall. I was just counseling a woman today, who thinks she might have lost the job she needs so badly to keep because of some inappropriate things she said and did (not sexual) She is so upset. And the reason she is having this episode is because of the drug prednisone which she has to take for another disease triggers her bipolar.
In fact, I have many RA friends, and they all cite how they go off the wall when on prednisone. These are normal people. Yet they have rages and anger on prednisone that is simply not there when they are not on the drug. Actually, pretty much everyone I talk to that is on large doses of prednisone have terrible side effects.
To say nothing of an interesting side effect from a Parkinson's Drug called Miraplex. It is a drug that targets the lower brain stem to stop the continual motion that people with Parkinson's have. But it sometimes "leaks" into the upper brain stem, which is where bipolar disorder originates. Some people end up with bipolar like symptoms, and have literally lost or almost lost their homes and families till this side effect was discovered. CTV did a fascinating show on this, with two real life people, one of whom became a compulsive gambler -a woman. The other one, a man, became porn obsessed. But his wife stuck with him, and when he went off the drug, the porn addiction was just gone. For that matter, I knew a bipolar woman who was put on Miraplex, because she was in the early stages of Parkinsons. You talk about a messed up person. I got her help and off the drug, but the relationship was damaged, I confess! (Sorry the link to the show does not show up!) This is a link to the gist of the story.
W5: Parkinson's drug with bad side effects | CTV News
It really is Middle Ages medicine to deny the effects of neurotransmitters on the brain, and their involvement with mental illness. If a drug can give you bipolar symptoms then go away when off of it, doesn't that show conclusively that these disorders are based on malfunctioning physical brains?
And yes, adultery is sin. But mental illness is not a "voluntary" sin. Mental illness does destroy marriages, but it is not a"willful" sin. I guess I find it shocking to be reminded of ignorant some people are about mental illness because I work with people with mood disorders every day.
I suppose the same people who judge and condemn the mentally ill are the same people who tell people not to take medicine for their physical problems.
Because if a drug, like an anti-psychotic can turn your life around, stop the mania or depression, then it really was about chemicals in the brain, wasn't it??
That is not just adultery, but so many things where the person gets hypomanic and goes off the wall. I was just counseling a woman today, who thinks she might have lost the job she needs so badly to keep because of some inappropriate things she said and did (not sexual) She is so upset. And the reason she is having this episode is because of the drug prednisone which she has to take for another disease triggers her bipolar.
In fact, I have many RA friends, and they all cite how they go off the wall when on prednisone. These are normal people. Yet they have rages and anger on prednisone that is simply not there when they are not on the drug. Actually, pretty much everyone I talk to that is on large doses of prednisone have terrible side effects.
To say nothing of an interesting side effect from a Parkinson's Drug called Miraplex. It is a drug that targets the lower brain stem to stop the continual motion that people with Parkinson's have. But it sometimes "leaks" into the upper brain stem, which is where bipolar disorder originates. Some people end up with bipolar like symptoms, and have literally lost or almost lost their homes and families till this side effect was discovered. CTV did a fascinating show on this, with two real life people, one of whom became a compulsive gambler -a woman. The other one, a man, became porn obsessed. But his wife stuck with him, and when he went off the drug, the porn addiction was just gone. For that matter, I knew a bipolar woman who was put on Miraplex, because she was in the early stages of Parkinsons. You talk about a messed up person. I got her help and off the drug, but the relationship was damaged, I confess! (Sorry the link to the show does not show up!) This is a link to the gist of the story.
W5: Parkinson's drug with bad side effects | CTV News
It really is Middle Ages medicine to deny the effects of neurotransmitters on the brain, and their involvement with mental illness. If a drug can give you bipolar symptoms then go away when off of it, doesn't that show conclusively that these disorders are based on malfunctioning physical brains?
And yes, adultery is sin. But mental illness is not a "voluntary" sin. Mental illness does destroy marriages, but it is not a"willful" sin. I guess I find it shocking to be reminded of ignorant some people are about mental illness because I work with people with mood disorders every day.
I suppose the same people who judge and condemn the mentally ill are the same people who tell people not to take medicine for their physical problems.
Because if a drug, like an anti-psychotic can turn your life around, stop the mania or depression, then it really was about chemicals in the brain, wasn't it??
A
Really? Everyone knows right from wrong? Would you like to tell Dad that. He has dementia, so he doesn't anymore.
Would you like to tell my niece that? She has Rhett Syndrome, so never knew.
Medication isn't always THE answer, but it's really helpful if nothing else works. ad actually would know right from wrong if he had stayed on his meds. The dementia was going to take him sooner or later, but when you know you won't be able to think one day, later is definitely the better option. Meds aren't evil, but I wonder about those who tell everyone they are.
So, I gather you tell your wife not to take meds?
Would you like to tell my niece that? She has Rhett Syndrome, so never knew.
Medication isn't always THE answer, but it's really helpful if nothing else works. ad actually would know right from wrong if he had stayed on his meds. The dementia was going to take him sooner or later, but when you know you won't be able to think one day, later is definitely the better option. Meds aren't evil, but I wonder about those who tell everyone they are.
So, I gather you tell your wife not to take meds?
A
I had a friend who hurt her knee at fork and was put on that. She called herself "The Raging Bull." The side effects can be horrible. She was stuck between the choice of having a chance for her knee to get better or a chance to beat up her hubby. NOT a good idea. First, she loves the guy. Second he grew up street-hard in South Philly, so she'd lose that fight, (except he loved her too.)
B
To be clear... I do not think ALL disease a manifestation of personal sin, WE do live in the latter days of a fallen world. That said, the bible is CLEAR about what God said the world is going to look like in the latter days. God is very CLEAR in his word that sexual sin is A BIG DEAL, so much so that before Christ... stoning to death was the consequence of adultery. Now we have a society where people profess to be Christian... yet commit sexual sin rampantly and claim it is forgiven and covered by the blood. I personally choose to BELIEVE GOD about all matters pertaining to life and that includes not excusing sin for people in calling it a mental illness... I am of the opinion it isn't honoring God nor is it good for the sinner... based on my study of scripture.
I hope this has been careful to make the distinction about what was intended by my previous comment. I cannot CHOOSE a faith value for you... but I DO wholly support you in the direction your thinking seems to be headed. Further, there are plenty others who think the same way... they just may not be in a big hurry to expose themselves here.
I hope this has been careful to make the distinction about what was intended by my previous comment. I cannot CHOOSE a faith value for you... but I DO wholly support you in the direction your thinking seems to be headed. Further, there are plenty others who think the same way... they just may not be in a big hurry to expose themselves here.
A
Frankincense was plentiful in the wilderness because it was good for stomach problems and cramps. It also dulled pain. Oil was plentiful to make wet the ingredients to use as a compressor ointment. Myrhh was importation to brush your teeth, since it's an antibacterial. Also good to put on as a lineament for bruises, aches and sprains.
So, okay for the Israelites to use it, but not us? Your something else -- just as long as it doesn't affect your life, right?
So, okay for the Israelites to use it, but not us? Your something else -- just as long as it doesn't affect your life, right?
Actually, a bigger sin in the Bible is pride. I cannot even count the number of times it comes up in Scripture.
Here is a sin list. It has both sexual immorality and pride in it.
"For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft,murder, adultery, [SUP]22 [/SUP]coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. [SUP]23 [/SUP]All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.” Mark 7:21-23
I do believe that most sexual sin is evil and definitely sin. But no more so than pride or envy or coveting, for example. And some people have damaged impulse control due to their mental illness, but pride is a sin that totally comes out of an evil heart.
"The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil.
Pride and arrogance and the way of evil
and perverted speech I hate." Proverbs 8:13
I really don't have much patience with people who have absolutely no understanding of mental illness. I just hope they are thankful that they are not mentally ill. And I hope even more they are not full of pride about their sanity. Because God has a way of bringing people like that down.
"Pride goes before destruction,
and a haughty spirit before a fall." Prov. 16:18
Here is a sin list. It has both sexual immorality and pride in it.
"For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft,murder, adultery, [SUP]22 [/SUP]coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. [SUP]23 [/SUP]All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.” Mark 7:21-23
I do believe that most sexual sin is evil and definitely sin. But no more so than pride or envy or coveting, for example. And some people have damaged impulse control due to their mental illness, but pride is a sin that totally comes out of an evil heart.
"The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil.
Pride and arrogance and the way of evil
and perverted speech I hate." Proverbs 8:13
I really don't have much patience with people who have absolutely no understanding of mental illness. I just hope they are thankful that they are not mentally ill. And I hope even more they are not full of pride about their sanity. Because God has a way of bringing people like that down.
"Pride goes before destruction,
and a haughty spirit before a fall." Prov. 16:18
B
>>>>I really don't have much patience with people who have absolutely no understanding of mental illness. I just hope they are thankful that they are not mentally ill. And I hope even more they are not full of pride about their sanity. Because God has a way of bringing people like that down.<<<<
So it is okay for to ASSUME people have no understanding of mental illness and imply they are full of pride if they are sane?
COME ON Angela????
So it is okay for to ASSUME people have no understanding of mental illness and imply they are full of pride if they are sane?
COME ON Angela????
B
Yes Olerica, Moreover, I have a understanding of the scriptures and a FIRM BELIEF that God gave us the bible as his word and it is SUFFICIENT for instruction in ALL matters pertaining to life and godliness. This is a Christian Forum, I choose to use the bible as my guide to life and I am a Christian... I also encourage others to turn to God and his WORD vs looking for worldly philosophies for answers to life problems.