Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

[violakat]

I sort of agree and sort of disagree. God's not dead was pretty much a good portrayal was pretty authentic in most of what it did. Although, Kevin Sorbo's death bed confession I don't think happens all the time. Much less a whole college turning towards Christ. (Or maybe that was just me thinking that's was what happened.) But, I think that the minor to moderate persecution that most of the believers had, especially the Arabic? young woman, is pretty accurate in what happens. I know that when I took philosophy class, I often felt like the main character.

I really have no time for Christian movies. Their biggest sin, besides the acting and writing, is that they're just not authentic. They're not honest about the struggles of life and faith or about anything really. And they treat God like some cosmic genie. My faith walk has been like a big, painful wrestling match and it seems most of my prayers go unanswered (at least in the physical), but I continue to follow Christ, because He's the only one who makes sense in this fugged up world. He doesn't help me win the big-game (whatever that means), but He does give me true identity, purpose and authority.

If I think great Christian movies, I think the likes of The Passion of the Christ (heart-wrenching and very difficult to watch) and Prince of Egypt. Luther is also decent.

 

[violakat]

I just realized I'm watching a Korean Soap Opera... and I like it.

Which one?

 

[violakat]

for the last couple of weeks it feels like I have water in my right ear...anyone have any suggestions? It's extremely frustrating ...

Ear wax cleaner. Also, see an ENT or someone who specializes in ears, if it continues, or if you have pain. Could be an infection starting in, or just waxy build up.

 

[lil_christian]

I don't want this to sound critical of you and your family, but I don't know if it can be said gently...

You seem to have an exaggerated sense of responsibility in this. As the deed-holder to the house, who agreed to have pets, your dad should be the one to ensure that the pet smell is gone. If professional cleaning is required, then so be it. That is better than marking the house down. Yes, other family members are expected to help, but to put so much pressure on one who is barely into adulthood and should be focusing on college choices and majors instead...no. It looks as if he is blind to the anxiety this situation is causing you. I am sorry to hear that. I am praying that all of you can come to your senses and that you will be able to find some rest.

I think he hasn't been able to see as much of what has been going on because he's busy planning for a wedding. Step-mom caused me some stress too today for a few reasons and I ended up breaking down crying on two different occasions (didn't last very long because I kept having to pull myself together because I didn't want people to feel bad or think they needed to give me attention or something). But I think lack of sleep has made me super emotional. My sleep has started to get really thrown off from stress and season changing. It's getting darker earlier, and for some reason I'm staying up later than ever.

The others HAVE been helping, and they've been a huge help, but I don't know if it's enough.


I just feel like nothing I do is good enough right now and it's starting to frustrate me.

 

[cinder]

I think he hasn't been able to see as much of what has been going on because he's busy planning for a wedding. Step-mom caused me some stress too today for a few reasons and I ended up breaking down crying on two different occasions (didn't last very long because I kept having to pull myself together because I didn't want people to feel bad or think they needed to give me attention or something). But I think lack of sleep has made me super emotional. My sleep has started to get really thrown off from stress and season changing. It's getting darker earlier, and for some reason I'm staying up later than ever.

The others HAVE been helping, and they've been a huge help, but I don't know if it's enough.


I just feel like nothing I do is good enough right now and it's starting to frustrate me.

Point one. It's not your job. It certainly isn't your job to fix everything and make it better for everyone. Point two. I wouldn't say this to many people, but probably the best thing you could do right now is blow up emotionally at everyone and get it all out. As long as you keep hiding your hurt from your family they can't help you deal with it and probably won't be aware of it. And yes I have the same problem of feeling too responsible for getting stuff done that I can't control and for putting everyone's needs and comfort above my own.

Hugs. And I am still very tempted to come "kidnap" you for a forced vacation, that is if you'd be up for that.



I did make that sound friendly and non-creepy, right? Not trying to add more stress.

 

[lil_christian]

I've been hesitant to do it because my step-mom has been implying maybe I should go get counseling, and it's not like I'm against it but I feel like that'd be the icing on the cake for them to send me there and that I wouldn't have much choice in the matter. Which maybe that's not a bad thing.

And I wouldn't mind the vacation. I'll be getting my license soon enough and hopefully a job. I'm looking in the area I'm moving to for a good place to work.

 

[Olerica]

I've been hesitant to do it because my step-mom has been implying maybe I should go get counseling, and it's not like I'm against it but I feel like that'd be the icing on the cake for them to send me there and that I wouldn't have much choice in the matter. Which maybe that's not a bad thing.

And I wouldn't mind the vacation. I'll be getting my license soon enough and hopefully a job. I'm looking in the area I'm moving to for a good place to work.

I think it would be a helpful thing for you to see a counselor. Someone completely neutral whom you can just pour everything out on without worrying about how it's landing on them, you know?

It's just some emotional support from someone who has seen a whole lot of things, and who you can't really freak out, you know?

 

[blueorchidjd]

BIEBS

gym time.

what you know about me
what ya
what

ya
know
about
JESUS

Foremost?
wut

 

[lil_christian]

I think it would be a helpful thing for you to see a counselor. Someone completely neutral whom you can just pour everything out on without worrying about how it's landing on them, you know?

It's just some emotional support from someone who has seen a whole lot of things, and who you can't really freak out, you know?

Yeah. Here's hoping I'm not beyond their help and they send me to like a shrink or something.

 

[seoulsearch]

Lil,

I'm so sorry for everything you're going through. I really am in awe of how you handle all these things going on in your life... I wish I had something helpful or useful to say but I think other people here have given really good feedback, so I feel at a loss.

I draw a lot of inspiration from your posts. Someday I'm pretty sure I'll probably be asking YOUR advice in how to handle certain things...

If there's anything I can do to help, please let me know.

 

[Olerica]

Yeah. Here's hoping I'm not beyond their help and they send me to like a shrink or something.

Honestly, I think you need to come a little unglued... And I'd be completely SHOCKED if you were sent to a Psychiatrist. I'll buy you a set of strings if they give you a prescription for ANYTHING.... and there are a lot of steps between where you are and being committed. I know. I had my dad committed till he could get stabilized.

 

[Lynx]

Catherder: Every time I see your signature ("Music was better when they let ugly people make it") I'm reminded of the following xkcd cartoon.

(Not posting it here because it has a cuss word. Here's a link. Before you click it, be aware it has a cuss word in it.)

https://xkcd.com/339/

 

[lil_christian]

Lil,

I'm so sorry for everything you're going through. I really am in awe of how you handle all these things going on in your life... I wish I had something helpful or useful to say but I think other people here have given really good feedback, so I feel at a loss.

I draw a lot of inspiration from your posts. Someday I'm pretty sure I'll probably be asking YOUR advice in how to handle certain things...

If there's anything I can do to help, please let me know.

Thank you, Kim. ♥

 

[lil_christian]

Honestly, I think you need to come a little unglued... And I'd be completely SHOCKED if you were sent to a Psychiatrist. I'll buy you a set of strings if they give you a prescription for ANYTHING.... and there are a lot of steps between where you are and being committed. I know. I had my dad committed till he could get stabilized.

I use phosphorous strings lol jk

 

[Olerica]

I use phosphorous strings lol jk

Ha! I'll need a photo of the script before I pay up, Smarty!

 

[Olerica]

There's a 300 year old (or maybe more like 92, it's hard to tell) widow who lives on the next street over from me, and she puts on those white old people shoes, those denim old people shorts, a pair of huge sunglasses, and a visor, and she walks exactly four blocks every afternoon.

I was out in the front yard, despairing over the flowers I killed, when she passed by today. She came up to the fence and said hello, asked about my kids (she made a quilt for my daughter), and then she said, "And cheer up! You can always kill those flowers again next year! Life is good for giving folks plentya opportunity to ruin things, I say do it! Mess it all up, and mess it up again! People get too cotton pickin' mad about mistakes. I've killed hundreds of flowers in my day, and I'd kill some more if I could bend over to plant 'em."

So I offered to come over and plant some bulbs for her, but she laughed and told me, "I don't want to still be on this old earth come spring time, so you just worry about your own flowers. Enjoy them, even if they croak."

What a weirdly inspirational conversation.

There are not enough of those moments in life when real perspective is given. That is just awesome!

 

[Olerica]

I was just leaning back, pleasantly full from dinner, going over what I need to do tomorrow... pondering doing a few extra things tonight and it just struck me, hard (in a pleasant way), how ridiculously blessed I am. I mean, WOW.

God is so very good to us. God is so very good to me and *aaahhhh* I really can rest in him.

 

[MissCris]

Lil! I have an idea! I'll come over and clean for you, and you can share your coffee. Deal?

Really though, you've been on my mind today...it's frustrating that I can't really be there to help ease your burden. I know advice and support from us here can only go so far, but I agree with the idea that your family needs to know how stressed you are and that talking to someone could be the best thing for you.

I pray things start getting easier, girlie *hugs*

 

[Olerica]

Hey! MissCris, you can come to MY house and I'll give you cooking lessons AND coffee (and I only bring up the cooking lessons thing because you have said you don't cook well, and I like to teach! (And I have taught a friend who literally didn't understand how to boil water)

 

[MissCris]

Hey! MissCris, you can come to MY house and I'll give you cooking lessons AND coffee (and I only bring up the cooking lessons thing because you have said you don't cook well, and I like to teach! (And I have taught a friend who literally didn't understand how to boil water)

Yes! Please!

I've been trying to teach myself here and there, but I just...I dunno. I've improved some in the past year, but I get so discouraged when I ruin something that I'm all, what even is the point?! Bah!