Where do I begin? Maybe with myself. I'm irritated/annoyed :
◆That I'm not the man I want to be.
◆That I'm still single, ache to know what genuine human touch is, and realizing more each day I probably will never know.
◆That I just can't or won't be content with that, making my irritation grow.
◆That I didn't 'join the seminary' or 'become a priest' like ppl told me to years ago. Looking back now, I guess I might as well have.
◆That it seems no matter what I do it's the wrong thing---
---If I express that I'm feeling down, even when asked, I'm accused of being 'negative' and that repels ppl, yet I'm expected to be a comfort to, or lifter up of others.
---But, if I express joy, bring humor, even pray to encourage others, I'm accused of being insensitive, not entering into their sorrows, or taking life seriously enough ....... I can't win.
---And if I just be a nice guy, and I've been told I Have been at times, but where did it lead...Nice guys finish Where? They say Last, right?
◆That I see ppl of all walks in relationships, (and I'm genuinely happy for them, I really am, I'm happy when I see God has blessed ppl together), and I see beautiful women all the time (and I know what I find beautiful, which may not be the same as another, so stop judging me) and I just want to know what it's like to be with one. Preferably THE one, (if that exists), and I'm tired of waiting. Today. (And I'm sure I'm already being judged for saying that.)
◆That even though I fight hard against this, I still get that lonely feeling, but am made to feel guilty about that because 'I have Jesus'.
◆That I know that's probably true, and I have no right to complain about ANYthing, and yet I still do, proving I'm not the man I want to be.
◆•◆•◆To address the other part of the Q. What I'm doing about it? -----
-----First, being honest, second, praying for God to forgive and change me into the man He would want me to be, third , praying to learn how to forgive others who either judge me, ignore me, ridicule, or bully me and others, especially true brothers and sisters in Christ who also struggle and are mistreated or misunderstood.
★★★Am grateful for this opp. to vent here. Sorry it isn't a one line quick complaint, will try to keep future complaints short and the 'what I'm doing to change', longer. I hope there must be SOMEthing I can contribute to/with SOMEone in this life. Something we can share to bring glory to God and blessing to each other, but finding just who she might be is proving more and more to be an impossibilty, and I guess for today, that's my biggest irritant.
◆Thank you to the OPer, I hope you know my prayers are with you. And everyone here generally speaking. I really can be an upbeat, decent guy, and of course I have room for improvement, and with God's grace and maybe a little help from another, that'll happen. Jesus loves you, I DO know that.