Help Needed for my sinking marriage

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A

atwhatcost

Guest
#21
#21
truefriend28 said:
I have moved to my parent's house. Day before yesterday he called me and apologized and assured me that he won't repeat this thing again. But the question I have in my mind is, he has broken the "base" of our marriage that he'll not keep any sort of communication with her, and still he kept on doing so behind my back, then how can I trust his words again? When I told him that your words are just not enough then he replied angrily, I already apologized now should I hang myself? If you have trust on me then you can come back else I'll tell your father to keep you with him until you have trust on me. He also got angry that since the day I have moved here I haven't called his mother and asked about her health as she is not keeping well. He asked me to behave well with his mother though we have some issues.

I'm confused, should I forgive him and go back? Or should I stay with my parents? I don't know.
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Do you trust God? Go to him. Seek his advice. And I'll tell you where his advice is -- in his word. Do word studies on the following words:
Marriage.
Wife.
Husband.
Divorce.

Use Strong's Concordance, which will tell you every instance of all those words in the Bible. But don't merely read the verse connected to the word, read the context to truly understand. (You probably want to take notes.)

And then check out Vine's Expository for the same list of words. (Sometimes the Bible talks about marriage but doesn't actually use any of those words in the verse, so it's good to go for both reference books.)

God will answer you, if you seek him.

I honestly don't know God's answer for you now that he seems to have repented. I do know God will answer you if you seek.

Matt. 7:7 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. 9 Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? 11 If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!
 
truefriend28

truefriend28

Junior Member
#22
Oct 1, 2011
12
1
3
#22
It's been two months, I'm living separate. My husband came to see me only once and I was not able to accept him that day. All I see in him is a cheat man who never loved me, who always forced me to serve his mother and his mother's beliefs, who has never respected me before his friends or colleagues or anyone, who has not cared when I was deadly sick, who has always ignored me and expected me to adjust with all his bad habits (smoking & drinking), who has never asked about my parents in all these 8 months, who has never bothered to let me visit my parents, who has never supported me in my career or dreams.

How do I forgive him for hurting me so much? I loved him with everything I had. I almost became bankrupt after getting married to him by paying his debts which has done before marrying me. He has a very big amount of debt on his credit card because he has spent that money after his friends. And to repay that he took gold loan on my gold jewellery. Even that gold loan installments were also been paid from my salary. In these 8 months, I have just paid his credit card bills, electricity bills and grocery bills.

Moreover, whenever his mother comes to stay with us, I have to buy her anything she wants when we go for shopping. I wanted to buy a cellphone since so long but my husband planned to gift her a smartphone so I had to drop my plan and I bought a smartphone for her. I had compromised a lot for each little thing.

How do I forgive him for all these things? How can Lord Jesus heal me? I'm so fed up and tired now. I'm losing my hopes. But I'm reading the Bible everyday. I'm crying and praying. It all seems very disappointing to me.
 
A

atwhatcost

Guest
#23
#23
truefriend28 said:
It's been two months, I'm living separate. My husband came to see me only once and I was not able to accept him that day. All I see in him is a cheat man who never loved me, who always forced me to serve his mother and his mother's beliefs, who has never respected me before his friends or colleagues or anyone, who has not cared when I was deadly sick, who has always ignored me and expected me to adjust with all his bad habits (smoking & drinking), who has never asked about my parents in all these 8 months, who has never bothered to let me visit my parents, who has never supported me in my career or dreams.

How do I forgive him for hurting me so much? I loved him with everything I had. I almost became bankrupt after getting married to him by paying his debts which has done before marrying me. He has a very big amount of debt on his credit card because he has spent that money after his friends. And to repay that he took gold loan on my gold jewellery. Even that gold loan installments were also been paid from my salary. In these 8 months, I have just paid his credit card bills, electricity bills and grocery bills.

Moreover, whenever his mother comes to stay with us, I have to buy her anything she wants when we go for shopping. I wanted to buy a cellphone since so long but my husband planned to gift her a smartphone so I had to drop my plan and I bought a smartphone for her. I had compromised a lot for each little thing.

How do I forgive him for all these things? How can Lord Jesus heal me? I'm so fed up and tired now. I'm losing my hopes. But I'm reading the Bible everyday. I'm crying and praying. It all seems very disappointing to me.
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So, it's been two months. What did your study in the Bible tell you? That should have been plenty of time to find God's answer.
 
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Terrygold

Guest
#24
#24
Do not go back to him. God is not about pain and sadness...He is all about love. Your husband do not love or respect you. Move on..
 
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atwhatcost

Guest
#25
#25
Terrygold said:
Do not go back to him. God is not about pain and sadness...He is all about love. Your husband do not love or respect you. Move on..
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Seriously? God's not about pain and sadness? What happened to Jesus in his last day? What happened to Paul? To Peter? To Abraham? To David? I'm not suggesting she go back with him. I'm suggesting she takes this to God, because seriously? Your message didn't have much to do with the God of the Bible.
 
Z

zoii

Banned
#26
Apr 8, 2015
895
18
0
#26
truefriend28 said:
It's been two months, I'm living separate. My husband came to see me only once and I was not able to accept him that day. All I see in him is a cheat man who never loved me, who always forced me to serve his mother and his mother's beliefs, who has never respected me before his friends or colleagues or anyone, who has not cared when I was deadly sick, who has always ignored me and expected me to adjust with all his bad habits (smoking & drinking), who has never asked about my parents in all these 8 months, who has never bothered to let me visit my parents, who has never supported me in my career or dreams.

How do I forgive him for hurting me so much? I loved him with everything I had. I almost became bankrupt after getting married to him by paying his debts which has done before marrying me. He has a very big amount of debt on his credit card because he has spent that money after his friends. And to repay that he took gold loan on my gold jewellery. Even that gold loan installments were also been paid from my salary. In these 8 months, I have just paid his credit card bills, electricity bills and grocery bills.

Moreover, whenever his mother comes to stay with us, I have to buy her anything she wants when we go for shopping. I wanted to buy a cellphone since so long but my husband planned to gift her a smartphone so I had to drop my plan and I bought a smartphone for her. I had compromised a lot for each little thing.

How do I forgive him for all these things? How can Lord Jesus heal me? I'm so fed up and tired now. I'm losing my hopes. But I'm reading the Bible everyday. I'm crying and praying. It all seems very disappointing to me.
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Sister - I was so sad to read your story - I had a lot of fears for you. I think you are brave and made a good decision to leave him before you were hurt because I think that's where things may have headed. Stay safe sister - is he the type that might seek some sort of revenge on you???
 
FallenHearts

FallenHearts

Member
#27
Jul 16, 2015
57
1
8
#27
I am so sorry that you are going through this, dear. From your writings, I do not think that your husband is loving you the way the bible instructs a husband to. If you feel as if he is not willing to completely change and has a repenting heart for hurting you, then perhaps it might be a good idea to not go back to him. Please do not put yourself in a position to repeatedly get hurt. You are a precious and worthy child of God and no one should make you feel less than that. Always remember that God has good plans for your life and this storm will pass. Seek God's wisdom for the situation and maybe you could even seek out the guidance from the pastor or your local church. God is for you, not against you and everything will be alright. If you would like to talk to a Christian prayer line and counseling center, please head to the Christian Broadcasting Network- India. Here is there website where you can find the number.. CBN Foundation
 
P

purpose

Guest
#28
#28
Stay with your parents. You can Forgive yes and you should! Pray Pray Pray. I would go to a closet or room anywhere in the house where you can be alone with God. Shut all the doors ! Where ear plugs ( cotton balls work). I would just sit there for a moment. Just Talk to God.! Let it All out. You can do whtever you need to do. Cry, anything, Trust me you feel better. Importantly Ask God . Bring your Heart to him. It may Take a few minutes or hours! The important thing is your a solitude with God when You do this. Just YOU and HIM! He will reveal to you the Answer. Need to get our emotions and thinking right . GOD will Heal your heart, give you peace, strength to forgive, most important Guidance. He wants what is best for YOU! LOVE AND PRAYERS TO YOU!
 
T

Terrygold

Guest
#29
#29
Seriously? God's not about pain and sadness? What happened to Jesus in his last day? What happened to Paul? To Peter? To Abraham? To David? I'm not suggesting she go back with him. I'm suggesting she takes this to God, because seriously? Your message didn't have much to do with the God of the Bible.



Geez am i not aloud to have ann opinion? This is my believe...if you dont likr it then ok.Fine. Move on. I just meant that God does not want his children to suffer...relax.
 
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atwhatcost

Guest
#30
#30
Terrygold said:
Seriously? God's not about pain and sadness? What happened to Jesus in his last day? What happened to Paul? To Peter? To Abraham? To David? I'm not suggesting she go back with him. I'm suggesting she takes this to God, because seriously? Your message didn't have much to do with the God of the Bible.



Geez am i not aloud to have ann opinion? This is my believe...if you dont likr it then ok.Fine. Move on. I just meant that God does not want his children to suffer...relax.
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Opinion isn't good opinion when it trumps God's word.
 
T

Terrygold

Guest
#31
#31
Weather its good or not...its still my opinion. And if u believe God's will is for us to suffer in this world? Then u should take a few more bible lessons. Ive been through cancer, lost a child...trust me ive suffered. and not for once to i believe that that was God's will and what he wanted. He let it happen yes, but through it all He was there...and help me beat the devil. Like i said...God is Love. Devil is evil and let bad things happen. Thats why we turn to God when bad things, cause we know He is a God of love.
 
truefriend28

truefriend28

Junior Member
#32
Oct 1, 2011
12
1
3
#32
Hello to All,

First of all thank you everyone for your valuable suggestions and prayers. This means a lot to me. I know how I've struggled all these months. It's been 5 months I'm living separate from my husband. But our God is faithful. He has seen my tears and sorrows. He knows my heart. Deep down in my heart I wanted God to change my husband's life. I wanted God to work so that my husband leaves all his bad habits and come back to me. And my friends God had listened to my prayers, our prayers. My husband repented for what he has done in the past. He asked forgiveness before my parents and also before the pastors of our church. Not only he but his mother too confessed everything and asked for forgiveness to all of us. I do trust him now. I trust the Lord. I have faith that everything will be alright.

Please my dear friends, keep praying for me. Please pray for my family.

Again, thank you very much. May God bless you.
 
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tjogs

Senior Member
#33
Jun 28, 2009
323
18
18
#33
I read your issue just now and how it have progressed. It sounds great how things seem to be turning out. Many people learn to respect what they have only when that have taken from them and I hope the rough lesson of losing a wife have sunk to your husband and he have learned to live as husband should towards his family.
My prayers still to you and if you got anything, keep us updated how things go from now.
 
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